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Childbirth

How should I have baby two after traumatic emergency c.section first birth...Help me please

14 replies

oneyummymummy · 09/12/2008 15:47

Hi
Im not pregnant with baby2 yet, but want some advice. I had my dd summer 2007, my pregnancy was o.k up until about 33weeks then i got S.P.D where the bones in your pelvis separate, this was very painful, and i was induced at full term, but my birthing experience was awful. The midwives were very non-sympathetic with my condition and some didnt seem to know what it was. I was in labour and doing great with no pain relief for most of the day, then they decided to break my waters and it went downhill from there!!
From then on i was having very strong contractions but they were on top of one another. i had about 7in row before i had about 60secs break and i didnt dilate any further than 3cm. Needless to say I had an epidural, which also went wrong the first time!The midwife pulled my legs apart during a contraction to put my catheter in, it wasnt until my partner reminded her of my SPD that she was a little gentler with me!At last i was pain free but exhausted from a whole night and day in labour!
This is when my dd went into distress, but due to the midwife putting the monitor in the wrong place the doctor had no idea why, and by the time they found out her heart rate dropped very low and didnt return to normal....so i was rushed down for an e/c.section.
I was told i would be able to have a spinal block for the op, but once we were down there they told me they would just top up my epidural and this is just as effective. Well it wasn't!!! They started the surgery and i was immediatly unconfortable, until they opened my uterus, and i felt EVERYTHING my partner was rushed out of the room, and i was held down until they got my daughter out! Then i was put under a general anesthetic immediatly, so never got to see my daughter until the next day when i came round! It was the most painful and horrendous experience of my life, but to make it worse, i was discharged from hospital the next day, just 36hours after my surgery, with a blood count of 7, I was severly anemic and needed a blood transfusion but was told i could go home and take tablets if i wanted! Who wouldnt choose that option given that information! I wish i hadnt, i was sooo poorly for months and months and also suffered Post Traumatic Stress afterwards which also took a lot to deal with! I never want to feel like i did again.
But recently ive been watching my daughter thinking that i cant leave her as an only child and i never wanted just one child! But i dont know if i could deal with feeling the same after, if i did get it again. and also wether to book in for a c.section so it is controlled and not an emergency and just hope the drugs work on me next time as ive never heard of what happened to me and can find hardly any research on internet of other people where the anesthetic hasnt worked in surgery, or to try for VBAC which is what i would prefer to do? HELP ME please.....

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MrsMattie · 09/12/2008 15:52

You've had a really awful, traumatic experience. You poor thing . Have you had a proper chance to 'debrief' this? You have a right to go over your maternity notes with the hospital if you want to try to make more sense of what happened. Or you could do this with a doula if you can't face the hospital staff again? Counselling of some sort might even be an option for you, as it sounds like you have had a real fright and could do with the time and space to work this all out in your head.

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mrsbabookaloo · 09/12/2008 15:55

Just bumping this for you...can't believe this story: it's terrible. What a cock up! No wonder you're apprehensive.

Whatever happens, it couldn't possibly be as bad next time. I would choose another hospital though!

Don't know how likely it is that you'll have SPD again...hopefully someone with more knowledge will come along.

I had 36 hours of labour and an EMCS, but really it was a walk in the park compared to yours. They took my epidural - which they'd only just put in - out and gave me a proper spinal.

Did you have birth trauma counselling? You should definitely talk to someone as soon as you get pregnant last time, to go through what went wrong and get some reassurance.

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mrsbabookaloo · 09/12/2008 15:55

..next time, not last time. Sorry.

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martha7731 · 09/12/2008 15:55

The same thing happened to a close friend of mine - and you are only the second person I've heard this happen to - i.e. she could feel her c-section. Circumstances were very similar to yours, i.e. she had an induction, followed by an epidural which was then 'topped up' for the c-section but didn't work and she could feel everything.

Just to reassure you though, with her second child she had a planned c-section (not under general anaesthetic, just an epidural) and everything went absolutely fine, and she couldn't feel a thing. It was a completely positive experience!

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Pruners · 09/12/2008 16:01

Message withdrawn

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oneyummymummy · 09/12/2008 17:05

Thanks everyone! I did have counselling after the birth and with a Post Traumatic Stress counsellor which did help, but i had to pay for it as the counsellor at my doctors signed me off and said i didnt need to see a counsellor without even seeing me! .....my experience was just bad in every aspect, i had no help, but the help i gave and got for myself, and my family of course!! And i have gotten over the trauma but just dont know whether to go for a planned c.section or try VBAC but then i could end up with a horrendous v.birth as well, as i still dont know the reason why i failed to dilate?!

""The same thing happened to a close friend of mine - and you are only the second person I've heard this happen to - i.e. she could feel her c-section. Circumstances were very similar to yours, i.e. she had an induction, followed by an epidural which was then 'topped up' for the c-section but didn't work and she could feel everything.""

How was she afterwards, did she suffer any p.t.s.d? and was it her choice to have second c.section? Why did she not want to try vbac? Sorry for all the questions its just i dont know anyone else it has happened to, and theres no research apart from a 'ginger gene' research but this is not peoples personal experiences.

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oneyummymummy · 10/12/2008 09:46

Anyone????

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gabygirl · 10/12/2008 10:38

You had such a scary horrible time. I feel sad for you.

Could you afford an independent midwife? Whether you have an elective section or go for a vaginal birth I think you would hugely benefit from having loving one to one care the whole way through your pregnancy and through the birth from someone you can develop a trusting relationship with.

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gabygirl · 10/12/2008 10:41

oneyummymummy - try posting here for some midwifery advice. There are some great midwives who post on this list who could answer some of your questions. You will have to apply to the moderator to join the group, but it doesn't take long.
here

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gabygirl · 10/12/2008 10:52

Would want to add - if you do go for a vbac without an IM, then ask to see the supervisor of midwives during the pregnancy to create a proper care plan for your labour. I think you need one to one care from a highly experienced midwife throughout labour - preferably one you've met before.....

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oneyummymummy · 10/12/2008 11:02

Great advice. my ideal birth would be with someone that i had meet and known throughout my pregnancy and that person could know me, and exactly what i would want, even down to simple things like i want to bath my baby and be the first one to dress them...which was taken out of my control last time as i was asleep!

Thanks gabygirl...i will try that post, sometimes i wish i knew a midwife or even surgeon that i could just sit down and talk with! Unfortunatly i cannot afford to have a private midwife....i dont know exactly how much they cost ive never looked into it, but i am assuming there will be a great cost in this!

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gabygirl · 10/12/2008 15:49

Where I live it costs £3000 for the full package. Most midwives will let you pay in installments.

I borrowed the money to pay mine and will be paying it off for many years. I feel it was worth it - you only give birth a few times in your life, and most people in employment wouldn't hesitate to borrow spend £3K on a car......

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oneyummymummy · 10/12/2008 18:48

I suppose when you look at it like that! But when you say the whole package....what does that involve? Do you give birth at a birthing centre, or does the midwife come to the hospital or can you only have home births with them??

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gabygirl · 10/12/2008 21:21

The whole package would be ALL your antenatal appointments - at your house, at least an hour usually for each appointment. Midwife at the end of the phone 24/7. Midwife usually accompanies you to at least one consultant appointment. Care during the birth, usually with a back up midwife if you are giving birth at home.

If you give birth in hospital then they are unlikely to be able to be lead professional in the birth. I transferred into hospital with my third and my midwife was told she wasn't allowed to deliver the baby once we got there. However, she helped me make clinical decisions about what I wanted to do during labour and, once the door was shut caught the baby anyway! My midwife visited me every day for the first 10 days after the birth to support postnatal recovery and breastfeeding, usually staying at least an hour each day. She then continued to visit me on and off for the whole of the first month.

My understanding is that she cares for quite a few women who have non-straightforward births - including people having electives.

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