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Why am I so apprehensive about this birth, it's no.4 after all. You'd think I'd get better at this lark.

(12 Posts)
sorkycake Sun 05-Oct-08 21:53:25

Filled with self doubt, convinced I'll end up with a c-section (no reason at all)
Worried about not coping with the pain or speed of delivery etc etc.

Ceolas Sun 05-Oct-08 21:56:45

How many weeks are you sorky? My number 4 is just over a year old. You'll be fine, you know you will

Hassled Sun 05-Oct-08 21:57:37

No, my (quite logical) reasoning with DC4 was that everything had gone well with the first three and my luck couldn't possibly hold - I sort of felt I was pushing things by expecting it all to be fine. I got into a terrible state and then of course it was a piece of cake. The pregnancy itself was terrible, but the birth quick, no stitches and only G&A.
Good luck - you will fine

ladytophamhatt Sun 05-Oct-08 21:58:36

oh god sorky.

you're re-living my PG with ds4.
it was so hard to try and stay sane about every single microscopic PG/Birth thing.

I was insane by the time I actually gave birth.

But he was a perfect little bundle and as soon as teh birth was over it was plain sailing.

DS4 being a toddler now is a little testing thoughgrin

sorkycake Sun 05-Oct-08 22:21:13

I do keep trying to reassure myself that it's irrational, I really do and I hear everyone say you'll be fine, but there's a growing gnawing doubt that I will be.
It's got so bad that I stunned my midwife by suggesting that I might not be giving birth at home, that I think I'll end up in hospital!
I haven't even booked my pool because I don't want to fork out the money for something I don't think I'll be using.

I was somewhat reassured recently at my 21week scan (I'm 23 weeks I think) when the sonographer said baby appeared very healthy with good neuro signs. BUT that security lasted a couple of days and then I start with the craziness again.

I keep wondering if I should say something to the m/w, will she just think I'm overreacting? is it a self fulfilling prophecy?

I could hyperventilate at the thought of giving birth to this baby. what the hell is going on?

Cadelaide Sun 05-Oct-08 22:22:59

When I was scared about no3 my lovely midwife said; "All women get scared. You're going to experience pain, after all", and somehow it made sense and made me feel much better.

Cadelaide Sun 05-Oct-08 22:28:02

You're over-analysing, maybe?

Try a bit of cognitive therapy. When you get those fears, steer your thoughts away to something completely different.

sorkycake Sun 05-Oct-08 22:28:03

Hmm, I've done slightly apprehensive with the first two and was rather comfortable with the thought of the 3rd birth, but this one has me freaked.

I can't understand why. Maybe I'll mention it to her when I next see her......or actually where's lulumama?

<trundles off to hunt LM out>

smile thanks for the replies ladies.

Cadelaide Sun 05-Oct-08 22:30:22

Yes. Talk to your midwife. smile

NotAnOtter Sun 05-Oct-08 22:31:49

sorky i was the same

have got worse and worse at the whole thing and was beside myself this time

no advice really

talk to midwives mine were great

ladytophamhatt Mon 06-Oct-08 11:06:39

Sorky, if i was ever PG again I'd never let myself get into the mess I found myself again.

I would talk to everyone I possibly could because it was keeping it all inside ,y head that made me go mad.

In hind sight I think it eventually developed into some form of ante natal depression. I really struggled with the whole birth process because of what was going on inside my mind, I don't think there was a rational thought in there !!!
I totally believed that if I mentioned any of it it would make the worst happen. I couldn't even type the words on here and only skimmed teh surface of what was going on when I posted asking for advice.

Anyway, before I waffle any more, I can't say enough how important it is(IMO and IME) that you do talk someone about it. I wouldn't want anyone to have the sort of birth I had with Ds4 when it could be aviodable.

Take care and talk to MW soon.


ladytophamhatt Mon 06-Oct-08 11:08:21

(BTW I'll nver be PG again. I'd rather cut my arms off[groin])

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