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What to do if you get a less than nice midwife? - esp elcs

(8 Posts)
flowersingrange Sun 05-Oct-08 19:43:11

I'm booked in for a second elcs a fortnight on Monday.
The trouble is that I had the misfortune to have a really brusque, unfeeling midwife who did the final preps before I was taken to theatre. E.g she didn't have a good bedside manner and spoke quite sharply to me. I was also wearing a gown and she wanted to check underneath which would have meant being exposed before dh and other people in the room, when I aked if I could be covered up she asked me why I was shy I was shy in front of my dh as he'd have seen it all before.
I felt like my dignity was being stripped away as silly as that sounds. I was terrified of the op you see and this didn't help.
Is there anything which can be done if a similar situation arises? I know it is a day-to-day job for the staff, but surely they must realise that we are extremely nervous?
I'm worrying more about this aspect than the actual cs to be honest sad
Please help!

Tapster Sun 05-Oct-08 19:49:48

You can "sack" a midwife - ask to have her changed but may not really possible if elcs as it may take time to find a free midwife if they are busy. I'd put your DH in charge of making sure the midwife is treating you okay and to explain that you are terrified.

Lib76 Sun 05-Oct-08 20:58:34

that's rotten you had such a bad experience. if it were me i would ask them why they were being so sharp or rude, that soon stops them in there tracks. mind you being a nurse im not afraid to question any member of medical staff. i was very luck though, i had brill midwives when i was in labour and going for emergency CS.

Tapster is right, you can asked to be looked after by someone else if there is a clash. good luck smile

IAteDavinaForDinner Sun 05-Oct-08 21:01:29

I think the vast majority are lovely reassuring people and you were just really unlucky first time round. I am sure this time you won't beso unfortunate and will have someone really nice.

Make sure you tell them if you are scared - it is their job to look after you and give you confidence, not make you unhappy.

elmoandella Sun 05-Oct-08 21:02:51

you can change midwife. get dh to go out to speak to someone in charge of ward and request a change.

reikizen Sun 05-Oct-08 21:04:44

I'd bear in mind that midwives are human too and have bad days like the rest of us. Also, as a student midwife I can add that my maternity unit is so busy at the moment (Xmas & new year babies) that sometimes i forget to breathe never mind smile! I don't mean that you should put up with rudeness but be diplomatic. Good luck, you'll probably get someone lovely next time! (Maybe even me, in which case I promise to be nice even if it is the end of a 14 hour shift on an 8 day stretch and I have not had time for even a bite of sandwich since breakfast and there are too few midwives to safely look after the women we have). wink

lauraloola Mon 06-Oct-08 10:01:24

Change her, change her, change her!

If you have the same one and she appears to be in the same mood ask her to give you some privacy and have a chat to your dh. He could go and find someone senior and raise your concerns. You are well within your rights to ask to change at any point. Good luck x

chequers Mon 06-Oct-08 10:35:30

I had a nasty m/w and just ended up being gobby back to her.

Thankfully the shift changed after about 4 hours and the one I got after that was amazing.

Deffo ask to change if you're not happy with the m/w.

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