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what is it like giving labouring/giving birth without your DH?

(14 Posts)
mad4mybaby Tue 23-Sep-08 16:53:06

I had a quick birth with ds1 and dh was with me through out. Dh is not the rubbing back, massage type person. TBH i didnt actually WANT him to do anything i just wanted him there to hold my hand.

Am now 32 weeks and dh will only be around for this birth if it happens over the w/e due to work plus the MW saying this one will be even quicker.

I have a few people on standby for my 2 yr old but i am quite worried. My sister has said shes happy to be there for the birth if im happy with it but im not really sure. I know i wont care at the time but not sure about after?

What is it like doing it on your own with the MW? Im hoping to have this one in the birth unit btw.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 23-Sep-08 17:01:38

Message withdrawn

lisad123 Tue 23-Sep-08 17:20:52

my hubby only mader last 10 m ins, but to be honest when he wasnt there I didnt miss him as such. I was thinking "oh he'll hate to miss this" but wasnt thinking i needed him iyswim. The midwife was wonderful and when dh did arrive he just held my hand, no back rubbing ect. HTH

lauraloola Tue 23-Sep-08 17:43:50

I had a quick labour and wanted dp out of my way! I made him go for 20 mins and he nearly missed the birth. I just wanted to be on my own.

Next time I am considering him being out of the room until dc is nearly born. I much prefer being alone for things like that and I think he felt like a spare part anyway.

Maybe you dh could wait in the tv room so that he is there if you do need him?

mad4mybaby Tue 23-Sep-08 18:53:40

no, my prob is what it he CANT be there? He will only be around at the w/es. If i go into labour when dh isnt around it will either be my mum or my sister who will take me to birth unit. My mum i know i dont want there, my sister abit uncertain. I know i DO want dh there, just wondering how you cope/what its like not having someone with you?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Tue 23-Sep-08 19:39:01

mine was asleep for much of the labour while i was at home - and missed the hospital bit through no fault of his own. he made it just after ds came out and was able to have him while i was off being stitched - so had his first hour of life with one of his parents at least.
tbh i'm sorry for him that he missed the moment but i did fine without him - better even. he would have been trying to rub my back etc and i wouldn't have handled that!

Minniethemoocher Tue 23-Sep-08 21:09:39

DH missed most of my labour, I was induced, had baby in about 2 hours flat. I was very distressed that he wasn't there, worried that he would miss the birth entirely but he did make it for the last few minutes to see DD being born.

lauraloola Tue 23-Sep-08 21:26:38

Oh, sorry totally misread that. Tbh I dont think you will notice, I was high as a kite on gas and air and cant remember most of it. Can dh make his way home when you go into labour?

How about hiring a doula? After reading things on here about them it would be a good alternative. You could get to know her before hand and she would be a great help to you if dh isnt there. If he is you have another pair of hands to help you.

SoupDragon Tue 23-Sep-08 21:29:04

It was lovely. Just me and one midwife and (obviously) BabyDragon)

SoupDragon Tue 23-Sep-08 21:29:43

I was at home though. which may have made a difference. Don't think I would have liked it so, much in a hospital setting.

ajm200 Wed 24-Sep-08 08:59:11

Can you get a Doula to support you? Check out doula uk.

I'd love to give birth on my own as DH starts to flap at the start of labour and gets progressively worse. I ended up supporting him last time until the MW suggested that he need to calm down a bit and leave me to get on with it or go for a walk.

mad4mybaby Wed 24-Sep-08 09:52:32

i cant afford a doula sadly. I know i wont have any control over it and i have no idea when the baby will come but it does worry me. DH upset to the fact that it is more likely than not that he wont be there.

I plan on only G&A like last time if all goes ok and i was very out of it like you say i wasnt really aware of much, it was just having dh there to literally squeeze his hands to death and keep telling him im going to die! ha ha

I do really want him there though.. sad

BigTeuchLittleTeuch Wed 24-Sep-08 09:57:41

mad4 - I'm kind of in the same position.

I have to go to mainland weeks before due date without DH who will follow closer to date. I was early and very quick with first baby and there is every chance I'll be doing this one without DH, and I'm sad about that too.

I don't have the answer, just empathising!

ajm200 Wed 24-Sep-08 09:57:49

What about a trainee Doula, some will attend FOC, others charge less than 150 pounds.

A good MW will be very supportive, try to make you smile between contractions and keep you changing position to remain as comfortable as possible.

Hope your baby comes on the weekend though for your sake.

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