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Anyone had 3 c-sections? Could you share your experiences please?

(25 Posts)
madmarriedNika Tue 16-Sep-08 11:47:17

Bit of background- my DS born by em c-section due to severe PE/HELLP (at 30 wks); 2 yrs 2 months later DD born by em c-section due to PE (at 36 wks).

We are TTC DC3 (madly perhaps) and I've had a pre-conception consultation with my lovely obstetrician (who is very highly regarded and did look after me very well with DD). She said if I have another it will have to be a 3rd cs- she did not feel VBAC is appropriate in my situation. (will at some point find out why exactly)

I am a bit scared at the thought of facing a 3rd section, especially as I'll have 2 DCs already at home to look after on top of a newborn, one who'll possibly be only just coming up to 2yrs old, the other 4yrs. Last section I recovered from pretty quickly but found the op very hard (lots of scar tissue from first op so took a long time). But still the lack of mobility in the first few weeks worries me a bit (plus I'm a bit scared of the op)

How did you find the 3rd section & subsequent recovery?

TIA

ahundredbiros Tue 16-Sep-08 11:51:44

Yes, I did. Years ago now. Tbh an elective section is a doddle after two emergencies, which I had too.

I think it got easier each time, and recovery time was quicker. I quite enjoyed 3rd cs, they played Whitney Houston I remember. It wasn't scary, it was all controlled and fine.

Hope that helps.

ahundredbiros Tue 16-Sep-08 11:53:24

Also, I'm fairly sure I did all the wrong things. When dd was born, ds1 was nearly four, and ds2 nearly two - and so I think I just got in the car and drove and stuff. I didn't do the 6 week thing.

Also, I took arnica beforehand and that helped.

[creaky misty memory emoticon]

I agree with ahundred, I had two em CS, the third was an elective. At that time I had a 5 year old and 3 year old. I too was scared of the the op, but it was very smooth, lots of music of my own choice, very relaxed, everyone chatting. Not at all hurried and scary like the other two times. DS2 turned out to be a very chilled out baby from the start.

I too did the Arnica route and stopped the morphine as soon as possible because it made me feel yeuk and out of control. I felt it helped having had 2 previous cs that I knew what was coming and so was prepared mentally. Also I was well rested beforehand. All this led to a quick recovery. If you can and are happy with your hospital, I recommend you stay in for as long as possible and just take things easy. Hope this helps.

jennifersofia Tue 16-Sep-08 12:06:09

Friend of mine had 3 and she said that her third was in some ways her easiest. She did lots of arnica before and after, and reckoned that it really helped.

cheesesarnie Tue 16-Sep-08 12:12:42

ive had 3.3rd pregnancy was hardest but the csection and recovery seemed easiest.even though i had torn bladder and got infection in scar.

LongDroopyBoobyLady Tue 16-Sep-08 12:15:50

I've had 3 and found the 3rd a lot easier although had masses of help once home with the DCs.

I too did the arnica thing but took everything they gave me in hospital.

I was extremely scared before the op having suffered complications with c-section number 2 but once it was underway seemed to "forget" any worries I had.

I stayed in for 5 days after and, as I said, had lots of help once I was home - it really made a difference and ensured I wasn't feeling guilty about "neglecting" the other 2.

madmarriedNika Tue 16-Sep-08 12:20:16

Thanks all, you are making me feel far more positive!

I did the arnica thing with cs#2 and definitely think it helped enormously, but found the emotional side of things hard as had so hoped for a VBAC (and for my baby to have avoided SCBU which wasn't to be)

Did any of you feel that you had "missed out" on giving birth naturally? I will probably never experience even labour and in a way feel like a kind of failure (my mum is very pro home births etc. having had my sister at home...so I had always thought I'd follow in her footsteps but it seems not). I guess I kind of hoped to have one more shot this next time but it seems it won't be an option...

ahundredbiros Tue 16-Sep-08 12:23:11

No, I don't think I do - in all honesty. Not really because I never have, and I shrug my shoulders about it. Also it was a while ago now - almost seven years - and now they are all big, talking, real people it seems very means to an end to me.

Master&M - am impressed by the morphine. I asked for morphine - perhaps a little too enthusiastically after cs with ds2 and they refused to give it to me!

cheesesarnie Tue 16-Sep-08 12:23:41

i never feel ive missed out.yes i think about how it could have been but ive got 3 beutiful(beyond beutifulgrin )children.who cares how they got here.there here.goodluck with ttc

ahundredbiros Tue 16-Sep-08 12:25:21

Now I think I sounded dismissive. Sorry.

Well worth thinking through those feelings and making yourself okay with them.

madmarriedNika Tue 16-Sep-08 12:30:35

ahundredbiros- I can see what you're saying- with DS now I find I rarely think of his (shakey) start in life- he is just so much a "person" now that I feel dwelling on his start has no bearing on day-to-day life now... I guess as DD is still quite a baby really I think about it more with her, and feel a little sorry for myself! I am sure in time it won't matter as much. And like you said cheesesarnie it shouldn't matter how they got here, just be grateful I have them.

Thanks all.

LongDroopyBoobyLady Tue 16-Sep-08 12:31:28

I've never felt I missed out on anything. In fact knowing what some of my friends have been through I think I have definitely had the easier option but if I had to say there was 1 thing I really didn't like about having a c-section (whether it was my first, second or third) it would be the dependence upon others to help me.

ahundredbiros Tue 16-Sep-08 12:32:26

Yes, but do work through how you feel and then do the shrugging shoulders. Otherwise it can haunt a bit I think.

madmarriedNika Tue 16-Sep-08 12:33:50

LongDroopy- I agree with you there, definitely think at times cs have been easier! But like you I am usually a very stubbornly indepedent person (often stupidly so) and find the reliance on others very hard, am usually rubbish at asking for help.

buttercreamfrosting Tue 16-Sep-08 12:38:30

I tried for a VBAC after my first emerg. section but it ended up being another emerg. (3 altogether now)
My lovely midwife said something really kind to me on he way to theatre. She told me not to ever think that trying for a VBAC and then having a section was in any way failing and that 'this is just the way your are meant to have your babies'
I have to say I never felt like I missed out (went through labour 3 times anyway!) but it was a very kind thing to say...

LongDroopyBoobyLady Tue 16-Sep-08 12:39:32

With 2 DCs already you really will need to ask for help - and of course your DCs will want to "help" - but I understand totally what you are saying.

sarah293 Tue 16-Sep-08 12:45:58

Message withdrawn

If I am brutally honest yes I did feel I had 'missed out' and when I hear a really lovely 'ideal' birth story I still feel a little envy. But as onehundred says, work through it and then do the shoulder shrug. With dd I knew very little and was a total optimist, the resulting em cs I felt I could have 'controlled' better had I had more info, with ds1 I was trying for a VBAC, I was most definitely in control. I felt disappointed but happier. The third time I asked for another VBAC but the registrar gave me all the facts and was very supportive, she said I had tried my utmost and two babies just wouldn't come out naturally, it just wasn't meant to be. I could try again but it was highly highly unlikely I would succeed. So i put it down to one of those 'some can some can't' kind of things and have tried to move on.

Onehundred, no amount of morphine was going to stop those afterpains grin

strawberrycornetto Tue 16-Sep-08 12:49:50

Hello. I haven't had three but I have had two c sections. My first was emergency following induction and full labour as my DD got stuck when I was fully dilated. My second with DS was elective.

I understand what you are saying about the emotional side. Both my DCs needed special care as they were both early due to OC ( both just 37 weeks but they both had breathing problems and were in special care for about 5 days). My experience was that the emotional side was no better and no worse as far as the babies were concerned between the two experiences because they both needed the same special care treatment. BUT I felt far less traumatised personally with the elective because I didn't have the trauma in the immediate lead up to the birth, instead it was all very calm and so when DS needed special care I felt much more able to cope with it.

I did feel slightly that I had missed out after my first birth because I had hoped for the whole rose tinted idea of us as a new little family bonding together in the delivery room. My best friend who had two natural births said it wasn't like that at all, in fact her DH disappeared off to make calls and she had her legs up being stitched for nearly an hour shock so actually, I'm not sure the romantic ideal actually exists anyway.

Overall, IMO, a planned section is a much better experience than an emergency one for the mum. I am sure you will be fine.

buttercreamfrosting Tue 16-Sep-08 12:50:02

Sorry should add my dc's were 3.10 and 18 months when I had my 3rd and although the recovery was slightly longer (first two born at night up next morning, 3rd not til afternoon) by the time I was home I had no problems.

sarah293 Tue 16-Sep-08 12:51:41

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canofworms Tue 16-Sep-08 12:58:44

I've had 3 c-sections and 3rd was best of all as I knew what to expect. Was up on my feet a lot earlier, needed lot less painkillers and was home by day 2!

Yes, I feel like I've missed out (dc2 was a failed vbac) but I think by no 3 it's too late to do anything about that - only my opinion and way of dealing with it

Recovery -wise, I had to be ultra organised with dh taking 2 weeks paternity leave followed by 2 weeks holiday so lots of help around. Being an elective section though I had my date for delivery when I was only 6 weeks pg!!

madmarriedNika Tue 16-Sep-08 13:47:38

Thank you everyone.

Riven, you in particular have given me food for thought. Like you said ultimately the health of the baby is the no.1 call. So cs if it has to be, rather go into this whole pregnancy thing accepting what might happen than constantly fighting for the very slim chance of a VBAC and then ending up disappointed again. I guess my body just doesn't do normal pregnancy & birth, but I am very lucky that I do have 2 beautiful DCs in spite of this and possibly the chance of a 3rd. Anyhow you can just never know what fate will hand you...as I've had to come to accept.

Glad to hear so many found the 3rd section the easiest. I guess if it is planned I can be organised with getting help in place- last time DH couldn't take more than 2 days off work angry- the day we brought DD home he had to go back to work at 9pm. I have made him promise the next time, if we get there, he'll be able to take more time off!

sarah293 Tue 16-Sep-08 15:50:42

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