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Sex after birth - How long did you wait? (Maybe tmi!)

(30 Posts)
lauraloola Fri 12-Sep-08 12:08:22

Sorry if tmi but dd is now 3 months old and I still havent done the deed!

My dp is very patient - Didnt have sex all through pregnancy due to various problems and it is a year ago today that we concieved dd.

I am sh!tting myself about doing it. My bits dont feel right after giving birth and I am worried that it is really going to hurt.

How long did you leave it? Does it hurt? Any tips for making it easier?

mumblechum Fri 12-Sep-08 12:10:42

2 weeks after CS.

TheProvincialLady Fri 12-Sep-08 12:21:44

About 10m before first attempt, 13m for second and then 18m until normal service was resumed. I did have a horrible episiotomy though.

cyteen Fri 12-Sep-08 12:21:47

<lurks>

i am gagging for it after having low sex drive throughout pregnancy...wish things wd hurry up and heal!

naughtymummy Fri 12-Sep-08 12:32:24

2 weeks with DS 2 months with DD.

MrsMattie Fri 12-Sep-08 12:36:41

Can't remember. I think it was about 4 months and was definitely a sympathy shag for my husband. I had a c-section and wasn't remotely interested in sex for a long time. My sex drive still isn't what it was 3 yrs later!

OrmIrian Fri 12-Sep-08 12:39:50

5 weeks and though it wasn't sore I was numb which wasn't great hmm I think about the same for the other 2.

Took a loooong time for it to feel right again. And that was without any big tears or stitches. TBH 5yrs down the line since the last one and I still am a bit take it or leave it.

poorbuthappy Fri 12-Sep-08 12:43:06

3 weeks with dd.
We got dd out of the house for the night (at her auntie's house), I drank a reasonable amount of red wine and we took it very slowly...

BitOfFun Fri 12-Sep-08 12:47:40

Provincial Lady - I thought that I was doing well for ten days in my case, but ten minutes??? now that's impressive grin

lauraloola Fri 12-Sep-08 14:58:16

I am thinking a lot of alcohol is going to be needed! Maybe I should I just do it then before dp finds someone else!!

BitOfFun Fri 12-Sep-08 15:09:57

Alcohol is def the way to go smile. I had a tear and stitches, but it didn't bother me with some wine first. I think your DP will be fine without as long as it takes, but if you can get back in the saddle so to speak, you may well find you remember what you liked about it. I have a deal with my now DP that if he wants to and I don't, I will go along with it for a bit and see if I can be persuaded, as long as if I stop he won't push it. If I really don't want to, then of course I don't, and he doesn't hassle me. It just seems to be one of those "use it or lose" things: the more you do it, the more you feel like it, and vice-versa. Sometimes you don't think you want it but you're fine once you get going smile, feel better for it, and everyone's happy!

MamaG Fri 12-Sep-08 15:13:05

6 weeks with both IIRC - with me wincing and saying "careful, careful" both times hehe

verreeee sexy

aly16 Fri 12-Sep-08 15:16:10

I waited 9 days! But was very scared. All was ok though just slightly uncomfy. But it depends on how things are down below I suppose, I was lucky enough to not need any stitches so wasn't as sore as some new Mummys xx

LadySanders Fri 12-Sep-08 15:19:13

about 3 weeks after c/s, wasn't exactly gagging for it but thought dp might explode otherwise... i have to say i don't think the ol' b/feeding hormones help much with libido...

TheProvincialLady Fri 12-Sep-08 15:25:30

BitofFun it was actually short for milleniagrin

Ebb Fri 12-Sep-08 16:07:16

6wks after Ds. Had had loads of stitches and thought I was all healed but then I discovered I'd had internal stitches too.......blush Was fine though.

MamaG Fri 12-Sep-08 16:20:30

LOL
LOL
LOL at The PRov lady grin

lauraloola Fri 12-Sep-08 16:26:25

We have a wedding do next month - The first night out!! Maybe I will get drunk and let dd stay at her Grandparents. Whats the betting I get too drunk and fall straight asleep smile

Peabody Fri 12-Sep-08 16:46:24

About six weeks, I think.

I didn't have that many stitches so we just took it carefully and had no problems.

My main concern was that I now had a bucket-sized fanjo, and to be honest this is stll a worry for me! blush

macaco Fri 12-Sep-08 19:22:21

Had 2nd degree tear and episiostomy. Did deed 8 weeks after, more to get it out of the way psychologically speaking. Wasn't great but felt like a weight off my mind. Now pretty much back to normal, but certain positions not comfy.
Use loads of lube.
I have to say I really didn't fancy it AT ALL while still BFing.

cranmorefifi Sat 13-Sep-08 09:07:38

blymey! took me months last time (I'd say at least 7 or 8) and was not too enjoyable for some time. But then I did have quite a lot of damage (stitches) and was BF for 12 months which apparently 'dries' everything up... NICE.

cheerfulvicky Sat 13-Sep-08 22:52:14

I really miss it and would love to resume relations but DP doesn't seem that bothered I think he's worried about hurting me, sees me as off limits and doesn't even consider it and option. It's only 2 weeks since I gave birth, I had an episiotomy and I know I'm not healed yet. But I wish things would HURRY UP down there as I miss the closeness so much and my sex drive is normal... sighs

Soapbox Sat 13-Sep-08 22:55:11

I had 3rd degree tears with both of mine but healed very quickly.

IIRC around 4 weeks with DD and 6 weeks with DS. I do recall quite clearly thinking that I was going to have had sex before going to my 6 week check up as I couldn;t face being asked 'the question' and saying 'not yet'shock

biglips Sat 13-Sep-08 22:58:18

After my first period @ 8 weeks. i had a coil fitted in..plus i had an emergency c-section.

BabyStarlettsBeautiful Sat 13-Sep-08 22:59:11

You have to bite the bullet and get on with it. Use lots of lube and take it gentle.

Tis a bit like the first time, not particularly enjoyable, but shouldn't hurt.

Once you've got through the first time, it should be fine after that!

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