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help quick...i need a doula or someone!!

(13 Posts)
Tinkerisdead Sun 17-Aug-08 15:25:43

eeeek, help. My friend is in labour and has asked me to maybe go over to her as she is pretrified. i may not be needed but judging by her reactions at the moment i think im about to be called for moral support.

she has been having contractions since 8.30pm last night, around 4 every ten minutes she says but cant talk through them(she's texting me). She went to hospital and they said she is on 1cm dialated and sent her home.

I havent had my baby yet, so I havent got wisdom to impart, just support. But whats the best thing to do to help her? the baby is back to back, at the moment she is sat straddling the toilet resting on the cistern but what kind of advice can i give. she says she cant sleep as its too painful and she has only drunk lucosade as she cant face any food.

i wanna actually be of help if i go over!!

Tinkerisdead Sun 17-Aug-08 15:28:11

bumpity bump

RubySlippers Sun 17-Aug-08 15:28:26

moral support is great

rub the small of her back

get her in the bath and keep her company

sitting as you describe is good for a back to back baby or get her on all fours

take chocolate!

fryalot Sun 17-Aug-08 15:29:00

when did she go to hospital? It sounds like quite a lot of pain to be managing at home on your own.

If she's happy to stay at home, you can hold her hand, rub her back, listen to her swear, anything really that makes her feel better. Does she have a partner you can ring?

She may want to have a bath, in which case just be on hand to haul her out of there if she gets stuck.

I would strongly suggest though, that if she is in that much pain, that she lets you ring the hospital/midwife again and insist that she is seen.

Good luck.

DisplacementActivity Sun 17-Aug-08 15:31:59

Message withdrawn

DaisySteiner Sun 17-Aug-08 15:32:12

The key thing IMO is to stay calm and look relaxed and unconcerned whatever she's saying and reassure her that she's doing well.

You could get her to try and crawl round on hands and knees to help baby rotate, she could also try a bath/shower/hot water bottle. Firm massage on her lower back may help. She may have a fair way to go so rest is important, even if she doesn't sleep.

You can reassure her that her body is working well, that the contractions are helping to rotate the baby and soften and thin her cervix. Try not to rush back to the hospital if possible as she's likely to progress better at home (which is why they've sent her there!)

HTH - let us know how she gets on!

tigana Sun 17-Aug-08 15:33:39

I had a back to back labour ...
Moral support, firm rubbing of lower back during contractions etc good.
Helped me to tread on the spot, one foot to the other and sway hips through contractions.(they also made me vomit...).
How far from the hospital is she?

tigana Sun 17-Aug-08 15:35:38

Breathing exercises...just make them up..hee hee hooo hooo etc...they help even if it's just because it gives her something else to focus on other than the contractions.

Spidermama Sun 17-Aug-08 15:36:55

Stand by to put warm flannels or cloths on her back at the bottom and possibly to press the area when the contractions peak.

Like others say, just be WITH her when she needs you. Have plenty of water or juice to hand and a straw so she can drink it between contractions.

Don't panic.


She asked you cos' she knows you can do it.


Tinkerisdead Sun 17-Aug-08 16:40:54

thaaank youu. my in laws just turned up so couldnt check in on here for a bit. she's had a lie down and things have eased so ive told her to rest whilst she's got some respite. Some fab advice on here if i go over. she was sent home from hospital at 12.30pm, her partner is there but she says he is trying to be strong but a bit helpless. Apparently at the hospital, they could tell she was in pain, gave her gas and air but as she was only 1cm they are "not allowed" to let her stay.

fryalot Sun 17-Aug-08 16:43:47

aaah! righto.

it all sounds good and things are obviously moving along.

Could be hours yet though

Spidermama Sun 17-Aug-08 16:45:35

That's awful because sometimes women are open but the cervix tenses up again when they go to hospital. It is a sphincter muscle after all and that's what they do.

I've always had home births myself but I think it must be really hard to do the journey into hospital when you're in labour. Such a major interruption.

My sister decided, whilst in labour, that actually she wanted to stay home. So she did.

Tinkerisdead Sun 17-Aug-08 16:51:48

Ive opted for a home birth and im glad now, her biggest worry now is what if i go to hospital too early again or worse too late. im so grateful that i'll have a midwife with me for all that doubt. right i'm logging off to me a text support for now.. bet this baby doesnt come for agggeeessssss. thanks everso for the tips.

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