c-section a must, if refused i'll need to pay, advise on getting c-section on nhs or paying the nhs in wales, or private c-section in wales

[Ema76]

a c-section is a must for me.
i am really worried that i will be refused one on the nhs. if so i have to have options. can i pay the nhs to give me one? really want to have my baby in wales too which restricts me as it seems more private c-sections are done in London.
Does anyone know of a good private hospital in wales (south in particular) and how much it would cost?

Many thanks for your help.

[sitdownpleasegeorge]

Firstly, have you researched the complications of c-sections and could you converse, in basic knowledge terms, with medical staff about why you are prepared to take the risk of major abdominal surgery ?

(I'm not getting at you, I've been there and done exactly what you are wanting to do but I did quite a bit of research and presented my case effectively. I managed to get a c-section on the NHS and I don't live in London.

[VictorianSqualor]

Why do you want one? They will ask this.
What do you know about CS's?

(not judging either, just trying to see your best way of going at it)

[twoboots]

not judging but why is it a must? if you had a previous cs then you are normally offered a trial of labour, but you should also be given the option of elective section.

[Ema76]

i really have researched the pros and cons of both. however it is a decision i made a long long time ago. i used to have nightmares of dying in childbirth as a child.

my mum almost died on me and my greatgrandmother died on her first child, my grandmother also had terrible problems. due to a bad bith my mum also had problems later in life and had to have an op.

there is no decision as far as i am concerned and i strongly believe that it is my body, baby and choice.

i am working myself up that the doctor will refuse and what to do if they do. i even had a dream the other night that it was agreed but when i got there they said that i had to do it 'naturally', i woke up in the panic of my life and in such a state.

if i had lived in another time i would remain childless.

[Ema76]

this is my first baby and i do not want a trial labour. i am hoping that because i had a op for an emergency strangulated hernia and have a scar on my stomach that i can use that reason to as it might rupture or tear.

[VictorianSqualor]

So it's psychological then? Fear of birth is quite common tbh. Have you considered getting a referral from a mental health professional explaining that you suffer from Tokophobia due to family history?

If you can show a real psychological reason as to why it would be healthier for you to have a CS I'd imagine they'd be much more understanding.

(I speak as someone who was so badly scarred (emotionally) from my second pregnancy I waited til 41 weeks before I would agree to my last CS even though the consultant wanted baby out at 38weeks due to placental problems so I know where you are coming from, just the other side.)

[Ema76]

sitdownpleasegeorge - i hope that i can present my case well without getting too upset. I am going to outline the pros and cons of both and explain that i have evaluated them and am requesting a c-section. can you give me any tips of what to say to get what i need agreed.
someone told me that they don't agree it until 34 weeks! oh my god i cannot have this lingering over me!!

[bethoo]

remember that medical science has progressed since your grandmother and mother had children. i do not think you will be given a cs on the fact that you are afraid of childbirth alone otherwise the majority of women would opt for them. have you considered talking this through with a professional?

[CaptainKarvol]

Ema, I can't answer your question but I know my cousin had an elec c-section on the NHS for reasons similar to yours (a sibling died at birth), and is about to have her second, also a c-sec. She is in London, but I just thought I'd offer the reassurance that the NHS can provide in cases like this. I hope you find a sympathetic consultant.

[LilRedWG]

My friend also had an elective for vaguely similar reasons - you need a sympathetic Consultant.

[Ema76]

i will not under any circumstance consider a v-birth. medical science has progressed to allow us to choose an elective c-s if that it best for mum and baby. surely mind and body have to be taken into consideration when negotiating a c-section.

i really need help to achieve either a c-section on nhs or pay privately (loan will be required) but would like my baby born in wales.

[Ema76]

i hope that my consultant is sympathetic - i am hopefully seeing him tomorrow.

[VictorianSqualor]

Ema, one thing about getting upset shows that you do have this overwhelming fear, so don't worry too much about getting upset.

~If I hadn't broke down in ym consultant's office when she said I couldn't have my VBA2C because of the placental problems I don't think she would have been anywhere near as supportive.

Once I had calmed down and explained just how scared I was, not scared like I was of labour, I didn't want to tear and what have you but it was a debilitating fear, I was having nightmare s and flashbacks, that was enough for my cons to support me all the way, just advising me now and then that a CS, IHO would be safer.

[OrmIrian]

I think you need to speak to someone asap - even just mention it to your mw to start with. Your obvious fear seems like a damned good reason to me. Yes everyone is a little nervous of labour the first time, but obviously it goes deeper with you. Good luck.

[Ema76]

I have discussed it with my midwife and when she referred me to my consultant she did say that he was the best person to discuss this with. just hope that means he is sympathetic and doesn't think he can change my mind, because no one could.

[Ema76]

i will probably end up crying. it is incredibly emotional.

[OrmIrian]

Hope it goes well tomorrow ema.

[traceybath]

i had an elective c-section with my second birth as i had an emergency c-section with my first after a very long labour.

i was determined to have an elective second time but it wasn't agreed with my consultant until my 34 week appointment - that was when i was booked in.

be prepared that they will try and dissuade you by talking about all the risks - and also the recovery time.

they may also recommend counselling to try and overcome your fears.

[Ema76]

oh god and me thank you. probably won't sleep tonight as I'll be thinking of what to say and trying to think of what they might say.
once it is agreed i can relax about that part of things then.

[MatBackFack]

I have a friend that had a Csection for a similar reason - her mother had a bad birth with her (in Eastern Europe) and suffered very badly from untreated post-natal depression apparently which obvioulsy affected my friend growing up. I don't necessarily believe that a vag birth would have been wrong for her but I know she got a C section on the NHS (and second one - easier after one I think) by telling them about this and breaking down in front of the midwife who referred her to a sympathetic consultant. TBH, I found it was harder to hold out for a natural birth as the first sign of any complication they want to whip you in for a C section. I totally understand about wanting to get it decided now so it is not hanging over you.

[nailpolish]

if they recommedn couselling - do it. they wont try to change your mind, just make you feel a bit mroe relaxed

i hope you get it sorted. and go on to have happy pg and childbirth

[Ema76]

yes i know that they will try to dissuade me but know that it won't work. i am not worried about the recovery time as i have a good support network to help me when i am home. my mum's 'natural birth' meant that she could barely walk for a week and was very poorly so i am sure my recovery will be better than that.
i have also heard about the counselling and now this might sound silly but it would just be a waste of time for them and me. i am having a c-section one way or another.

[Ema76]

i will do the counselling to show willing but just need the c-section agreed sooner rather than later. cruel otherwise as it doesn't give me time to arrange something for myself.
thank you for all your supportive messages