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just set up the birthing pool - now it's the waiting game!

(25 Posts)
mckenzie Thu 10-Feb-05 21:03:47

DH and I have just set up the birthing pool ready for my home water birth. We were just gong to have a trial run and then put it all away but we've decided that as we have the room, we might as well leave it up although empty.
I'm 38 weeks pg (baby no 2) and cant help feeling that we've now tempted fate and this baby will arrive after my due date and we'll have to be looking at a lovely fibreglass plastic covered pool for the next 2/3 weeks. Also, DH is really making this hard work. He took some persuading to accept my decision for a home water birth but did agree after chats with the midwife and reading the numerous and very helpful posts on here but now he's making me question my decision. How can i do this at home if he's not 100% behind me? He says that he's accepted my decision but he's not happy about it and can't pretend to be and therefore has now enjoyed setting the pool up etc which I thought was actually going to be quite good fun and exciting for us to do together (okay not quite fun and exciting but you know, the first steps towards D Day and our new baby). Instead we're hardly talking to each other and he's got a scowl on his face.
Maybe I will be inviting my mum after all!!

Sorry for my little rant.

WideWebWitch Thu 10-Feb-05 21:07:09

Sorry he's not behind you 100% mckenzie, that must be hard. What is at the root of his concern? Fear? But homebirth is as safe as hospital! I know you know this but hey. Our pool was up for 4 (I think) weeks but it was big and heated and ds and I used to get in it after school, he loved it! (he was 6) If you start at home and want to go in you can but if you go into hospital it's pretty hard to go home if you change your mind. Good luck.

mckenzie Thu 10-Feb-05 21:11:17

He's scared that there will be some major complication that will require instant medical intervention and we won't get to the hospital on time. We live literally 5 mins drive from the hospital so if the worse did come to the worse, we couldn't be much closer.

bubble99 Thu 10-Feb-05 21:16:33

mckenzie, If baby no 1 was a straightforward delivery then I would imagine (though I'm not a MW) that there's no reason why baby no.2 won't be as well. What position is the baby in?

WideWebWitch Thu 10-Feb-05 21:16:52

Mckenzie, midwives are skilled, highly trained, experienced professionals and there will be 2 of them concentrating on you because you're at home (you're lucky to get one to yourself in hospital from what I gather) - I gather there are very few things they wouldn't see coming. If they do they will ask you to transfer and you can go and 5 minutes later you're there. Midwives are equipped to cope with most things and birth is a normal event. I'm typing most of this for your dh's benefit btw, I know you're already convinced. I bet he agrees it's fab once you've had your baby and everyone's gone home and left you in your own bed. I wish I could say something more helpful. I had both mine at home and wouldn't change it for anything.

pupuce Thu 10-Feb-05 21:19:53

Mckenzie - I am really sorry he is not more supportive.... that's not helpful at all !
The other BIG perk of a homebirth is that you can go to bed as a family as soon as this is over, eat your own food, be in YOUR sheets, take a shower or bath when you want to.... HEAVEN!!!!!

Do we need to tell your DH the risks of hospital births ???

ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill Thu 10-Feb-05 21:22:40

oh pupuce what risks???

WideWebWitch Thu 10-Feb-05 21:23:16

MRSA, spiral of intervention spring to my mind

janeybops Thu 10-Feb-05 21:25:27

My sympathies as my dh was not at all supportive when I wanted a waterbirth for my second and that was in the hospital! Told me he wasn't coming with me if I had one! So know how you are feeling... (in the end I had complications and wasn't allowed in anyway)

Good luck - hope the wait isn't too long...

pupuce Thu 10-Feb-05 21:27:37

MRSA indeed, one of my clients' baby had it!
And certainly cascade of intervention!! Did you watch the Channel 4 programme last week... I "loved" the intro it went something like....

I use to think that I was very grateful to the hospital for saving my baby's life with my emergency caesarean section.... now that I have investiagted this I feel that it is probably BECAUSE I had so much intervention in labour that I needed the section"!

SOOOOOO true for so many women ..... many do not realise how often their sections are the result of BAD labour management.

pupuce Thu 10-Feb-05 21:28:35

What has he got against water ? Is against epidural ???? both are pain relief methods !
Now I am going to get on my soap box... be warned LOL

Mickj Thu 10-Feb-05 21:41:09

Hi Mckenzie, I had a water birth for my first DS 11 weeks ago and it was lovely. Eight hours from the first contraction to third stage (not at all unexpected for Home Births according to the MW's that came) with little ds floating gently to the surface arms outstretched and looking all happy. But I have to say, that along with all the benefits of water during those later stages, I also thought it would be good to give DH something to do. Keep him busy and keep his mind off the fact that you are delivering a baby in the front room! You really need him at this time, to fill the thing for one, but I really needed him for those cool flannel face dabs etc. My husband was a bit dispondent at first, but you have already done it once, so he shouldn't worry and look on this as a lovely opportunity to experience something amazing in the comfort of your own home.

PS Sorry to get down to basics, but get a cheap plastic sieve - I didn't and had to use a really lovely stainless steel chefs one (you know what for!) All the best - keep us posted

mckenzie Thu 10-Feb-05 22:49:32

thanks evryone for your comments and support. I dont think he's against the water birth per se, just being at home and not in hospital. We've been through all the pros and cons but his mind is obviously still not at ease.

Oh well, tough shit really isn't it as I'm the one doing the labour and giving birth and I really hope that i will be biting my tongue to stop me saying "I told you so" after we all have a wonderful time!

I'll keep you posted.

btw, should I partly fill the pool now do you think or wait and fill it once labour starts? I know I'm not to get into it until labour is well established so I'll have plenty of time to completlely fill it from empty, wont I?

gish Thu 10-Feb-05 23:07:05

Risks of a Hospital Birth

Unnecessary interventions
Increased risk of caesarean section
Less likely to labour well
Loss of privacy/control
Mental trauma
Partner being treated like a surplus idiot
Harder time bonding with baby
Harder to establish breastfeeding
Cascade of intervention
Having to labour against the clock
More likely to need pain relief
Risk of being left unattended while overworked midwife deals with six other
Lack of support

Blu Thu 10-Feb-05 23:15:47

You'll have plenty of time to fill it once you go into labour, mckenzie - my DP was uneasy about homebirth too, but faffing around like a scene from Dad;s Army to get the pool up and filled gave him an active role and kept his brain occupied..

Anyway, you don't want the water to get stagnant.

fredtbad Thu 10-Feb-05 23:21:03

Is it a heated pool mckenzie?
Please don't underestimate how long these things take to fill! Ours was heated and took five hours to fill and get to the right temperature!!

Blu Thu 10-Feb-05 23:23:56

Wow! we had a basic inflatable pool, and I think DP and my friend kept pouring in kettles of boiling water before I got in. Or filled it from the hot tap? I have no idea!

gish Fri 11-Feb-05 00:13:53

Best not to use the pool until labour is really well established and you reckon you are past 5cms dilation anyway - so that should give you enough time. Research has shown that before 5cm water can slow things down a bit, and that its most effective after that point. Study also says that the optimum time to be in the water is around between 1 and 2 hours.

If its any consolation my dh was pretty much against home birth but is now (after 2 born at home) a total convert and tuts when he hears any of anyone we know planning a hospital birth!

Best of luck!!! x x x

pupuce Fri 11-Feb-05 09:29:54

Can I slightly disagree with Gish here
5cm is a good rule for a 1st labour I think it does not apply in 2nd labours... if you are finding contractions are very regular and getting really painful, ge in the pool.
I find that 2nd time mums dilate from 3 to 10 MUCH MUCH faster and if you wait to "measured at 5cm" you may miss the pool altogether. 2nd tine births don't need VE (vaginal examinations) either most of the time.

I do agree about 1 to 2 hour rule.... that is true, the benefits of water after 2 hours are usually gone. The purpose of the water is to relax you, stop your adrenalin release and increase your oxytocyn release to help you dilate/contract better.

mckenzie Fri 11-Feb-05 13:02:28

thanks for that extar bit of info Pupuce. As a guide, what's the average length of time it should take a second timer like me to get from 5cm to 2nd stage? and how long, again on average, should 2nd stage last?
I didn't know about the 1-2 hour thing - do you know why that is?

Mickj Fri 11-Feb-05 18:26:04

Just another little tip - make sure you have a bottle of chilled water with a straw in it - even with the pool at 37 degrees, you feel quite warm the dh can give you little sips in between contractions. A can of evian spray was invaluable to cool the face. xx

franch Fri 11-Feb-05 18:34:47

So excited for you mckenzie. I'm hoping for a home water birth this Sept, after experiencing most of the things on gish's list last time round! BEST of luck, I look forward to reading more - and give that DH of yours a slap!

pupuce Fri 11-Feb-05 19:57:26

My rule of thumb (as I see it with all my clients) is that a 2nd timers can easily go from 3 to 10 cm in 2 hours or less (especially in water where it can be less than 1 hour). Pushing usually 30 mins or less. Depends a bit on how the baby is positioned.

The calming benefits of water "disappear" after 2hours I think.

motherinferior Fri 11-Feb-05 20:07:30

Oh McKenzie, I'm so sorry, I've only just seen this thread. Would you like to CAT me? Because my partner was EXACTLY the same with my second birth - so so so reluctant that he was quite explicitly against it (not helped by his mum, usually a v nice woman, who said she thought I was too old). He did agree to collect the pool by car (I only passed my test five days before giving birth) but I paid for it, sorted it out, and went through with the whole home birth plan, with lots and lots of support from MNers - like you, I felt sod you pal, this is my body, while feeling rather sad that we couldn't plan the birth in any way together.

So I know how you must feel. No amount of fact would change his bloody mind: he had a conviction and he was sticking with it. I also know that my DP did change his mind, at the point when the wonderful midwives were really showing their stuff (ironically, the point where I was starting to lose it and think 'hospital soon!) and I am very, very please I stuck to my guns and secretly I suspect he is too.

So do get in touch if you want.

motherinferior Fri 11-Feb-05 20:08:04

(oh, and DD2 arrived at 37+5!)

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