I have always been so pro home birth. Even before getting pregnant with DS I was adamant if I ever had children I would have a home birth. I give lectures on home births and how fantastic they are. I can quote you statistics and scenarios and anything you want on it and have desperately wanted one for this baby (was coerced into hospital with ds for high bp).
So now Ive freaked out. I dont want a home birth Im too scared. I want to go to hospital (which I hate and panic in and dont understand the attraction for for healthy pregnancies). I dont know if its the birth drawing closer and the reality dawning (im 34 weeks ish)or whether peoples comments have finally got to me. People have been negative all the way through (not dh or my mum or anyone important). Have had loads of comments about the mess (why are people so obsessed with the mess???) but more worryingly comments such as that Im putting my own happiness over the health of my baby, Im selfish, how would I forgive myself if anything went wrong, blah blah blah.
All of these I have just shrugged off or counteracted in the past so whats different now? Im really panicked about this - can feel my heart racing and have no idea what has suddenly gone wrong? Last time I ended up with bad pnd - for many reasons but partly because I couldnt have my home birth, the way my birth went and my treatment in the hospital afterwards. So why on earth would I suddenly want to go back????
ARGHH Someone talk me out of this please!!!
xxxxx
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Childbirth
Ok - So I've freaked out about my homebirth - please talk some sense into me!
11 replies
waitingtobloom · 22/07/2008 12:26
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