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hands up who thinks childbirth is awful

(109 Posts)
candyfluff Mon 21-Jul-08 10:28:03

surely i cant be the only one who thinks its the worst thing that ever happened to them?????????

SoupDragon Mon 21-Jul-08 10:29:38

Yep.

Apart from the SmallDragons I got at the end of it though.

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:31:40

umm i haven't given birth but am due in a few weeks and am trying desperately to find a way around it.

mum2oandh Mon 21-Jul-08 10:31:45

Oh yes, the only 'miracle' about it is that you are ever prepared to do it again! grin

aCushionCalledHumphrey Mon 21-Jul-08 10:33:43

It can be.

But if all is well with mother and baby afterwards, it's worth it.

Have you discussed your labour/labours with anyone, candyfluff?

Most hospitals have staff that can do this with you, and go through your notes to explain the decisions the staff made at the time.

I was traumatised by my first labour, and talking to someone about it really helped. smile

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:34:21

yeah, so i want another 3. where will i go about finding a surrogate and will i feel guilty about not going through each pregnancy?

themoon66 Mon 21-Jul-08 10:35:19

I wouldn't say it's the worst thing. But I wouldn't choose to do it every day.

candyfluff Mon 21-Jul-08 10:36:02

sorry didnt really mean to put anyone off its just when i talk about it i start to shake and feel sick surely thats not normal is it?

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:36:56

when i think about it i start to freak out and cry. (every time i think about a contraction i want to stop being pregnant).

StealthPolarBear Mon 21-Jul-08 10:37:27

lol eandz, a way round it
There are plenty of threads that will reassure you - about how it's not always as bad as you're dreading!

StealthPolarBear Mon 21-Jul-08 10:39:36

x post
You need to talk to someone about the way you're feeling - your MW?
My labour was very painful but I would rather go through it again than the unrelated abdominal pain I got a few months later, even though pain-scale wise it was a 5 or 6, with labour being a 10. Labour pain was much more manageable IME. I know it's not the same for everyone but there is nothing to be gained going in expecting the worst.

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:41:36

yeah see, thats what everyone says. i don't believe them. theres no way it's not as bad as it looks on you tube. it looks horrible. those noises the women make aren't for fun and my once pretty vagina will be renamed 'old flappy'.

i thought about c section but i won't be able to get my waist back for months after.

youngbutnotdumb Mon 21-Jul-08 10:43:11

I only got to 4cm dilated after 13 hours of unbelievably painful contractions, coupled with the sore thigh thingy and the need to do the toilet but couldnt made it pretty bad and am never doing it again although did end up getting a ES due to DS's heart prac ticaklly stopping with every contraction,

candyfluff Mon 21-Jul-08 10:44:03

sorry sorry and thrice sorry

ronshar Mon 21-Jul-08 10:46:02

Labour doesnt have to be a horrible experience. Only the unlucky ladies have a crap time. Most of the time it is very painful but managable. You know it will stop and at the end of it you will have a beautiful little baby to hold onto.

I have had 2 DDs. First birth was Horrid, Horrid, Horrid. Second the most relaxing beautiful experience of my life. Currently awaiting number three. Who knows what the stork will bring me this time.

Try not to analyse it too much. Ask for more support from your midwife. It is a recognized psychological condition. I cant remember the technical term for it but it is something like shit scared of childbirth. Lots of women have it.

Good luck it will all work itself out in the end.

HonoriaGlossop Mon 21-Jul-08 10:47:26

nothing good about my experience (except the result when it was over - DS smile)

50 hours of agony, some of those spent literally BEGGING for pain relief, ending up with a 'crash' CS under GA.

Brutal experience.

totalmisfit Mon 21-Jul-08 10:47:40

not only childbirth, but what happened to me afterwards; PND, acne, a fucked up hip, a belly i just cannot shift, granny arms and saggy tits.

But i have dd now, so i suppose looking terrible and feeling like shit is a small price to pay

aCushionCalledHumphrey Mon 21-Jul-08 10:48:19

candy, don't be sorry.
Have a word with your GP's surgery about meeting up with a midwife to discuss your labour - it sounds like you were traumatised by labour, as I was for my first one.

It was called a Birth Reflections Meeting at my hospital, but that was years ago, and they may now call it something less... erm.... floaty. grin

ronshar Mon 21-Jul-08 10:49:07

Ps. Stop looking at the crap on you tube. It is designed to shock and amuse people. Also dont google anything. Why look for the bad. Try instead looking at positive homebirth/hospital births. It will help you put it into perspective.
If it was really that bad we would have died out hundreds of thousands of years ago!

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:50:40

actually stealthpolarbear,
what your saying is sensible and i really shouldn't be so judgmental but i just can't seem to get around my genuine fear of not being in control of my own body and dealing with pain i can't really avoid without drugs. i never ever thought i was going to be someone who would have kids...and if i did i'd be having them closer to where my mother was since she's an ob herself and would watch over me.

StealthPolarBear Mon 21-Jul-08 10:55:00

But you can be in control (to an extent, if you are unlucky I know things are very different)
TENS machine
Water
Keeping active

Although that was the kind of birth I wanted I was a bit dubious as to how much all this stuff actually could help. Water didn't do anything for me, I didn't like it, but TENS and walking around were wonderful. Got to the stage where I had to get up and walk around as I felt a contraction coming as if I didn't I couldn't get off my chair By that point I must have been about 7 or 8 cm and about 3 hours away from giving birth.

StealthPolarBear Mon 21-Jul-08 10:55:54

And why do you say without drugs? Drugs are there - if you need them, use them!

eandz Mon 21-Jul-08 10:59:47

i want to use drugs. lots of drugs. but still wondering if i should really use them. my blood pressure drops when i'm in pain but apparently blood pressure drops when you use drugs during labor too...

i honestly hope someone hits me over the head and my body just delivers the baby without me being 'there'.

Celery Mon 21-Jul-08 11:04:31

The fear of labour is usually worse than the actual labour itself. Yes, it hurts a lot, but I found once it got going I kind of went into myself and got on with it. It was pretty horrible, but the fear and anxiety had gone.

PestoMonster Mon 21-Jul-08 11:07:41

Yep! It is pretty awful.

However, it's sooooooooooo worth it, for the result at the end imo grin

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