DOULAS .... anyone had one? Are they 'worth it'? In my case would you book one?(13 Posts)
To cut a long story short I had a hospital birth with DS1 in 2004, I was only 20. It wasn't awful or anything but I found the whole experience quite harrowing. Not so much the labour but the 'no partners' policies, being left alone, feeling like I was being a PITA when asking for help ect...
So next time round, 2006, I opted for a homebirth, came up against a few barriers (they were worried about the weight of baby as DS1 was plbs...struggled hard to get discharged from consultant led care ...) and did have a wonder home water birth.
The thing is, for some reason last time I had no hesitations, I had complete confidence (or if i did have worries I can't remember it now!!) I just plowed on and everything went to plan.
This time I'm not as confident. Which surprises me as everything went so well last time, I don't feel I have any valid reasons for my worries but they are there.
I don't know whether to book a doula as I know they will provide support but maybe I will get confidence back as time goes along and I do more research myself ... get myself back into the 'home birth mode'. I mean I did it at home without one before haven't I?
Money is also an issue, I know its not that expensive but things are tight at the moment but if I did decide I wanted a doula I know DH would support me and we would find the money.
What a ramble this has been! lol
Thanks for listening and any comments appreciated!
I have just decided to book a doula for DC2's birth. DD's birth was, on paper, a total nightmare although I have to say that I have never thought about it as a nightmare. I was so excited about having a baby and so full of endorphins on her arrival that I have never felt traumatised by the experience. However, now that I know I have to do it again I really feel I need some extra support if I am going to try for a better experience. I do have slight reservations though - I found labour a very private experience and am a little concerned about having more people than necessary there. I think I will go for it though.
Sorry, that is not very much help as it is all about me! If you feel in need of additional support then I would get that support. If it will give you the confidence you need to have another good birth then it will be worth it .
Lulumama is a Doula, and I'm sure that there are other ladies on here that are too. They are the best people to ask!
Yes, I know where you are coming from with the 'having another stranger there' thing.
Plus I am really quite a seperate person, Im not a 'huggy' person, though i probably appear to be one... if that makes sense.
Im not sociable and worry about not feeling comfortable with the person. Not a problem in the 'nursing sense' like I could let a midwife get on with anything ... but get the impression doulas are supposed to be more like friends, iykwim rather than a medical person.
Not sure how I would cope with that, but then again maybe im just being daft!
Oh and also can they help with breastfeeding as this is what was completely messed up both previous times
Have a look around for some Litterbug - gve a few an email/call and go from there. not all doulas are 'huggy hippy' types! (im certainly not!)
I see from your profile that you're in the north west - me too (near Liverpool). Lulumama is a doula in Southport - don't know if that's near you. I've just had my 4th child and had a lovely doula. I can send you details if you want. My doula didn't actually make it to the birth (1 hour labour!) but I'm still very pleased I booked her and found her support to be invaluable.
I'm very uptight and prudish and was worried about another person at the delivery making me more inhibited. One thing that made me realise how nice it would be to have the doula was when she said that she would start off making groany noises if she thought I was holding back because of feeling self-conscious!
Let me know if you want any more details.
i think lulu is a bit too far from me.
I have the numbers of a few others but Im not sure if I am going to try and book someone yet, I only started thinking about it this morning so I think I need a bit more time
I would love the details of thew lady you saw just to see if she is one of the ones I have already.
Always good to have a recommendation
thanks rolf, for recommending me
litterbug, i emailed you, make sure i am not in your spam box
I had a doula - DH said that he didn't necessarily want to be there during the labour, and there was no one else I could ask.
She was just amazingly supportive, and meant that all my interaction in labour was through her, not with any of the strangers. And I could ask her to rub my back for 2 hours which DH just never would (or nearly so well!).
So, she supported me through what was, in the end, a prem birth, in the DGH, on a bed on continuous monitoring. DS went to SCBU straightaway, so she couldn't do any initial breastfeeding support, but it was lovely to have someone who actually cared to call on about it, if I needed it, and with whom I had a good relationship already. Oh, and it was her that made me a cup of tea, got me in and out of the bath etc after the birth - all the midwives had bogged off.
I just can't recommend having a doula highly enough
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