So basic facts: Em CS after failed induction for PET 2 years ago.Complicated medical history with blood disorder which means avoiding any intervention is very important. Consequential fear of hospitals. I want a HBAC. He wants me to go to hospital and/or book in for a CS. He believes that doctors know best and wouldn't be recommending a hospital birth unless I was in danger being elsewhere.
Has been blithely doing the 'yes, whatever you want I'll support' line for six months, but after homebirth course last night is now saying he thinks I'm in 'cloud cuckoo land' but that 'he isn't allowed to have a view' and 'will support whatever I want'.
He's latched onto something a junior registrar said that 'no consultant on earth would recommend a homebirth in my circumstances'. Despite the fact a very senior consultant said I had more chance of being run over in the car park of the hospital than having a scar rupture during a home birth.
DH also said, in front of my mum yesterday that he thought that labour was 'bloody boring' (I don't actually disagree with this but don't appreciate him saying so) and that he 'wanted to be there for the birth' but wasn't too bothered about the rest of it.
I've not spoken to him about it since because I'm (a) flipping mad and (b) hurt that he is being such a flake.
I just don't know what to do. My mum would happily be there for the birth but I don't want to drive a wedge between us by banning him but I just feel like he's condemning me to fail by not believing I can do this. .
Has anyone faced this problem before and how did you handle it. I'm really not sure what to do - I don't actually feel I have any options, for me, I either have to have a homebirth or I may as well book in for a cs now because if I'm not going to get any support and am going to be nagged continually to transfer or go to hospital, the end result will be another emergency caesarian anyway.
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Childbirth
DH has suddenly turned round and admitted he doesn't agree to my homebirth VBAC.
whomovedmychocolate · 11/06/2008 19:29
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