would like elec c-sec but dh and family trying to persuade otherwise

[mads1]

Please can i have your opinions on this issue.
Went into labour with dd1 at 42 weeks. Went through 9 hours of pushing and she just wouldn't come down the birth canal (possibly in wrong postion).

No one has ever really been able to tell me if it was the way my birth canal is formed or weather dd1 was in the wrong position.

So, had emergency c-sec and that all went well without any complications. Recovery was pretty good.

I am now 36 weeks gone.

3 years on I've been told there seems to be no reason why not to try for natural birth again, but I feel i would like to go elective for the following reasons..

1. I can plan for the event and babysitters for dd1
   
2. would hate to go through 1-2 days of labour then all that pushing again to then end up with c-sec again!
   3)The idea of the pain AFTER Vag birth scares me more this time especially as i know this can be avoided this time!
   
3. I am suffering lots with pelvic and groin pains and can't bare it anymore!
   
   My DH and MIL (!) both think i should try natural again.
   DH reasoning is that we have an active 3 year old this time and therefore recovery will be harder this time i.e need to recover quicker for driving round etc.. Can see his point of view!
   
   Please can i hear some other opinions xxxx

[lulumama]

IMO , before you make any choice,is to debrief your birth notes with your midwife or consultant as a matter of urgency

you pushed for 9hours! that would be a matter for raising a serious complaint in most maternity units, usually 3 -4 hours is a maximum....

it is more than likely that there were many contributing factors to the baby not descending, position of the baby is usually key.

also being immobile or lying on your back and exhausted don;t help

i would find out exactly what happened last time

[NotABanana]

Were you literally pushing for nine hours? That sounds an awfully long time and like something that should not have been allowed.

I had an emergency section with my first baby and that was without being in labour. My next two births were VBACs and with a smaller age gap than you have.

I would say every birth is different and I would try for a VBAC every time.

Good luck with your decision.

BTW My section caused me future problems so I am not entirely unbiased.

[LazyLinePainterJane]

Will you have help for weeks after the birth?

[MumtoBen]

I had an awful birth with DS1 for many reasons and pushed for 4 hours as he was OP (followed by ventouse & forceps). I was strongly advised by my consultant and midwife to have an elective c-section, due to the fact they thought it was unlikely I would be able to get another baby out on my own and the tearing I had could get worse. But I decided to go against their advice as I felt the odds were in my favour for pushing DS2 out naturally.

My 2nd labour was much shorter and less painful. DS2 was also OP, but I managed to get him out after 1 hr 15 minutes of very hard pushing.

My community midwife, who was there for the birth thinks the shape of my pelvis is also a factor.

Was out and about within a week. so recovery was fine.

I went with my gut feeling and fortunately it paid off. I'm not advising you to try for a natural birth btw. I would try and get hold of as many facts as possible as to what went wrong the first time and what the odds are they will go wrong this time. Good luck with whatever you choose.

[expatinscotland]

this is your body, your birth, and you decide, not them.

if your midwife and consultant have given you some reasons for elective csection that you find compelling then it is YOUR call on how you give birth.

[NotABanana]

I am shocked how long some people have to push for.

DD was 15 mins and DS2 was 7 mins.

[me23]

nobody should have allowed you to continue actively pushing for 9 hours!! are you absolutely sure you were pushng for that long? and it wasn't just you started feeling 'pushy' for the 9 hours until the birth. I would get hold of your maternity and labour notes and talk them through with a midwife before you make your decision.

[Tess321]

Argh! It makes me mad when I hear about other people trying to gulit trip women into giving birth a certain way.

No advice other than to say bollocks to them! Do what makes you happy.

[mads1]

Hmm, is 9 hours a long time? Maybe it was that I was in full labour for 9 hours - come to think of it i think i really only pushed for 1 1/2 hours - SORRY .

I did ask at a previous appt what "went wrong" and the consultant said it was probably the baby couldn't get through the birth canal - whether this is due to baby being op, no one has said. I shall be asking this ques next time!

I get the feeling that the opinions slightly sway towards VBAC.

Yes I will have help. My mum and mil life very near and dh works from home!!!

[madmouse]

Having just avoided an emergency section myself after a very long labour and forceps I am not unbiased either, but I have a few observations.

1. Your MIL has no say in the matter, full stop.
   
2. Your dh has a point re: recovery time
   
3. I can really understand your second point, and I do think you need to ask more questions and get more answers as to why you ended up with a section.
   
4. regarding your third point:I had a tough labour and a full blown episiotomy and was cycling again two weeks later. It is possible, I aint no superwoman.
   
5. pelvic pains do not have to cause problems for a vaginal delivery, as long as you choose your positions carefully.
   
   Maybe you should make a list of pros cons and question marks and work through them with dh (and noone else, not their business)

[mads1]

Thanks everyone!

Discussed with DH last night I think I do just need some questions answered.

I'm going out tonight with some mum friends and will ask them about their recoveries after natural birth. I just get the impressions that there's alot more discomfort, pain and not so pleasant things happening down below! after a natural birth.

[LadyThompson]

Frankly I don't think it's up to your dh and certainly not your mil. Some people drive sooner after caesareans anyway. I am having a caesarean and tbh, after seeing the state my sister was in after delivering a breech baby vaginally, I'm glad. I know she was unlucky and plenty of people (possibly the majority?) have easy vaginal births, but it's the way I feel. Not being able to drive for a bit is no more than a temporary inconvenience, and it sounds as though your dh is thinking of himself and what is going to cut down on hassle for him, more than what you actually want. Whichever you decide, I hope it goes brilliantly for you this time, but make sure your decision is based on what YOU want and not what suits someone else.

[NotABanana]

I was driving 1 week after my VBAC and my VBACS have left me with no problems, unlike my section.

[WheresTheAuPair]

Its your body and your decision. One thing I would say that if you feel pushed into a VBAC then you may suffer anxiety about the birth and this may cause you problems if you are stressing about it.

I had a horrendous first birth (induced )and allowed to labour pretty much unchecked for 4 days before the decision was taken to do an EMCS. This was a major factor in me opting for an elective c-section this time as I can't trust in the doctors and midwives after the experience last time. I can't face another long labour and then another C-section at the end as i've never been so ill in all my life after that experience. I also had big baby and the surgeon said (mid section) that the baby was unlikely to have fit through my pelvis. This doubt in my body being up to the job is already in my head for this pregnancy.

Yes many many people do go on to have successful VBACS but imo it has to be their decision as positive thinking has a lot to do with it!

[LadyThompson]

Incidentally, there is another thread on here at the moment on driving after c section and some of them were driving after a fortnight - as was my neighbour. I'm reckoning on at least a month for me, to be on the safe side, but how bad can it be?

[AtheneNoctua]

I would put my foot down and book that section. I am a firm believer that a planned section is worlds better than an emergency. In terms of receovery time, it could go either way. Some people have a hard time after a vaginal birth (things tear and break and it can be worse than a section). Then again some people have a hard time healing and getting their stomach muscles back in shape after a section.

How was your section recovery last time? My recovery from the second section was a little bit better than the first but not hugely different.

You said you have a 3 year old. I think you are in a better position than someone with a toddler -- assuming the three years can walk and not be carried out to the car or wherever you normally go. DD was 26 months when DS was born and with a couple of weeks it was managable on my own.

How much time is your DH taking off? Can MIL be around to help you? Anyone else?

[vicky11]

i hope you do what is right for you. i had a planned section first time. recovery very quick. second time vbac pushed for 3 hours ended up with vontouce sp and cut. recovery much longer and now two 'bits' ruined!! sometimes i wish i had gone for the section!!

[waffletrees]

vicky11 - I agree - had CS with DS1 and felt brilliant after it. I couldn't walk for about 3 weeks after forceps delivery. I think it is up to OP to discuss her concerns with MW, GP and go for the kind of birth she wants.

[icklelou]

I agree with wherestheaupair's point on possible anxiety about the birth if you felt you were being pushed into a vbac. You have to make the decision on your own terms, it is no one else's business how you go about the birthing process, it's not them who are having to go through it. Obviously you should weigh up all your options, as there are risks associated with c-sections, but if you're still happy to ask for an elective c-section, your word should be final with regards to your DH and MIL.

I had a crash section with DS, after a failed attempt with a ventouse and there was no way I was going to try for a vbac. That was my personal choice and I understand that for many women a successful vbac can be the best thing for them.

However, for me the thought of another labour going wrong was too much for me. I always say it wasn't the c-section itself which left me shell shocked and angry, but the few hours before building up to it when everything started to go wrong. I have never been so scared and in so much pain. What should have been one of the best experiences of my life rapidly became the worst.

My elective section with DD was lovely and calm and was as helpful to me in terms of laying ghosts to rest with DS's birth as I'd imagine a good vbac experience might have been.

[georgiemama]

1.5 hours of pushing doesn't sound very long to me. I was pushing DS for 2.5 hours, had a 3rd degree tear but it honestly didn't hurt. Was more scared of doing a poo than afterwards than anything else!! This was also fine however. The tear and stiches were really not a problem at all.

However, if you have negative feelings towards a VBAC don't do it, because you will be going into it with negativity and fear, and adrenaline kills oxytocin stone dead. You would be better off with an elective C section by the sound of it. You don't have to justify your decision to your MIL, your husband should have an influence because it is his child too but I would hope he would use that influence on you to guide you to decide what is best for you and unborn child, not what he thinks his mother thinks you should do.

[mads1]

Many thanks to you all. You have all helped.
I think my instincts are telling me to go for an elective!
I was getting things ready for my hospital bag today and in my mind was packing for CS and not really thinking about stuff for labour i.e flannels, massage oils etc..
Just need to discuss this with DH, who I know will understand and back me up in the end.

Thanks again!! - btw... It's a girl!!!! xxx

[jamila169]

from what you say in your OP, mags, you might not be offered the chance of an elective - you would be recommended to go for vaginal birth again. did you say your 1st was OP? that could be a factor in what happened and is what they call non recurrent - fwiw I had the similar experience with DS1 , he was stuck, after they broke my waters when he was in an unfortunate position, i had an epidural in so no chance of shifting him from that. I've had 3 VBAC's and been out shopping the next day - it's really worth it if you've got LO at home

[mads1]

Hello All, Thought you might update!

Saw consultant today. Finally found out the proper reason to why we had c sec with dd1.

Basically my pelvic bone was too narrow and high and the chances of VBAC are low. It is possible to try again wouldn't be able to try for too long and therefore c-sec is a higher possibility!
Therefore I've elected to have c-sec and go in nice a relaxed etc. Going in 26th June!!!

Thanks again for everyones support and advive!

[putneygirl1975]

Hi - I've been reading this thread, and just have a quick question- how do you actually go about having an elective c-section? Do you have to pay/go private? I thought all NHS hospitals pretty much made you have it naturally unless you pay? Is it very expensive? thanks for your help and advice (I am so scared of having child birth naturally that I will have to have a c-section - I just didn't realise that you have elective ones)