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Childbirth

Baby blues- when do they end? When to start worrying about pnd?

7 replies

Minkus · 19/04/2008 11:58

Posting on behalf of a very dear freind.

Her gorgeous little boy is now 9 days old, and she's suffering a bit with feeling very low. She had a fairly traumatic labour over a couple of days, ending up in an emergency c section.

She's said that she's just progressively feeling more and more down- it's not her little boy that is giving her cause for concern (he's feeding well, sleeping as well as can be expected for a 9 day old) and she seems to have bonded really well with him (her words). I was really lucky in that I didn't have more than a few days of feeling a bit teary and emotional and so I don't want to give her the wrong sort of "there there" soothing and clucking supportive noises as I've not experienced her sadness.

She was in hospital for a week before giving birth (trying to induce her, delaying it etc etc) and she didn't get much good quality sleep in the 7 days or so before her ds was born. And of course compounded on top of that is the inevitable broken sleep of a new parent.

I think that once she gets a little bit more refreshed that will help (ok so that might not be for a while though), and she's undergone an emotionally and physically trying time and that she should be kind to herself and not expect to feel "normal" any time very soon- she's wondering now though how long she can expect to feel this way.

She's suffered from panic attacks in the past though and has had a couple in the last few days and is now worrying (don't know if excessively or not) that this is starting to morph into PND. She's also completely lost her appetite (very unlike her) and forcing herself to eat for sake of her boy, as she's breastfeeding, and this is worrying her too.

She tried to talk to her mw (who is pretty dismissive anyway, she's also my mw so know what she means) yesterday about it who brushed it off with a "yes thats normal" but I kind of feel that my lovely buddy needs some more reassurance than that.

Don't really know what the purpose of this post is but would love to be able to go back and give her some of my fellow mnetters esperiences that might help her feel less alone.

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Nbg · 19/04/2008 12:04

Nip it in the bud now.

Get her to see her gp, maybe offer to go with her and make sure she tells them everything.

Poor thing.
I've been there (still am in a fashion) and is not nice.

Your a lovely friend.

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Minkus · 19/04/2008 12:04

I've also posted this in the parenting and feeling depressed topics, sorry if you see this thread everywhere! Not sure where was best to put it and really want to get some reassurance for my friend.

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Minkus · 19/04/2008 12:09

Oh bugger it, really? I think she was sort of hoping that the "blues" would taper out and she'd feel happy again- not necessarily "normal" but at least not as low as she's feeling now. Glad of the advice though- I'm wondering whether she wants to do this anyway but might need the support of someone to tell her it's ok, if that makes sense.

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AMumInScotland · 19/04/2008 20:16

The baby blues usually only lasts a few days - it's caused by your hormone level having some major wobbles (think major league PMT). If she's feeling progrssively worse 9 days in, then I'd agree it sounds like more than that. I'm in no position to say if it's PND or just general stress at what she's been through, but I agree she ought to be speaking to someone about it. She may not want to, and be determined to "soldier on", but it's better if she can admit to the GP or someone just how she feels. They may not do anything straight off, but at least they can keep in touch and see if things are improving.

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fitnfortyone · 20/04/2008 17:34

Minkus, have just been through something similar, DS is now 5 wks and i was feeling very down and teary/emotional for 3-4 wks. Mainly due to lack of sleep on ward, the fact that i had emcs instead of homebirth, and then having to switch to ff instead of bfeeding probably as a result of the first 2... Had the same problem with not eating and lost 2stone (admittedly most of it was baby-related!) within 2wks of the birth.
Have looked at the questionnaire thing for PND and don't think it's that, just trying to get over trauma and new mum guilt.
I found talking about it to others helped a lot, particularly where i could have a good cry to them and not feel they were being judgemental. Luckily my m/ws were not dismissive at all, so if your friend can't rely on them, the GP may be the best option to get to discuss things. Hth.

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merryberry · 21/04/2008 08:20

minkus i had some similar feelings with ds1, it was all down to the feeling of subjugation and fear from being at mercy of not very competent at all hospital processes in my case, and exacerbated by London bombs going off a few hours after ds was born. what helped me adjust and work through it was talking, talking talking out the birth experience. MN helped.

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Minkus · 21/04/2008 20:30

Thanks for sharing your stories ladies. Suggested she spoke to a mutual good friend yesterday who I know had a less than easy time during the first few weeks and I think that talking things through with someone who understood has helped her a bit! I just felt so useless as I hadn't been there, iykwim. She managed to get out of the house too for a few hours with her ds and dh and sounded so much more chipper today for it. Will make sure she keeps talking x