30 weeks and considering asking for a homebirth - advice please!

[littlelamb]

This is my second dc and dds birth nearly 4 years ago was highly medicalised. SHe was over due, so I was induced and had to have an epidural and was not able to move around even before that as I was strappd to a monitor. I didn't like that I was left alone for huge stretches of time, and when she was born the midwife was the other side of the room, so she shot out in one push and I tore quite badly. I recently had to stay overnight for monitoring in our maternity unit and didn't see a single member of staff, to the extent that I was not able to find someone to discharge me so I just left . Now that the birth is getting closer, it has occured to me that I could avoid all this and ask for a homebirth. My fear is too much intervention agin and not being able to move around in hospital, not to mention the obvious shortage of midwives. When I was in hospital recently there were women on the ward who were obviously frightened and in pain after being induced who couldn't find anyone to help them I don't plan to stay in hospital long (if everything goes well at least) as I would far rather be at home with my dd and I found the maternity wards too bright and noisy to actually be able to get any rest. But the wimp in me is petrified that things could go wrong at home, or I wouldn't cope well and need another epidural. Is it still possible to request a homebirth at 30 weeks? And is it really a practical suggestion when I live in a first floor flat?!

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

Don't see why not, maybe chat to your MW? For what its worth I had a HB and it's the best thing I ever did.

I found it helpful to talk through possible scenarios and what they would do if X, Y or Z happened.

[fingerwoman]

yes, of course you can. I had a homebirth with ds2 and it was the best decision i've ever made, it was fabulous.

I too was scared that I wouldn't cope with the pain, had everytrhing going with ds1, but it ws fine, really so much better than I could ever have imagines.

go for it

[FrannyandZooey]

if you start to labour at home and change your mind about wanting an epidural, it is fine to transfer to hospital, so I wouldn't hesitate for that reason

you can decide on a homebirth at any point, being 30 wks is no barrier

how far are you from your hospital? Is there a birthing centre near you?

[camillathechicken]

of course you can request one !

homebirth.org.uk and talk to the supervisor of MWs at the hospital tomorrow to arrange.

[Slubberdegullion]

Absolutely. I changed my mind and asked for a HB at 38 weeks. The mw's were excellent. I phoned and chatted to my comm MW on the phone, she came round a couple of days later for a longer chat (went through all the concerns you have raised in your OP), got the G&A and placenta box 2 days after that. Had dd2 at home 1 week later.

Best decision I ever made.

[littlelamb]

Hospital is only about 5 minutes away- I think there is a birthing centre about 40 minutes away, but I don't drive so I have kind of discounted it as an option. So many things are up in the air at the minute that I really want to be able to plan a good birth. Dp has decided that despite being together for 3 years and imminent arrival of little one that he wants out so I don't even know who will be my birth partner

[Sexonlegs]

Hi there.

My first birth was in hospital, and I had to have an epidural and episiotomy. Dd1 had got stuck and I was pushing for 3 hours. Also lost quite a lot of blood.

So, with dd2, I had planned to go to hospital again, as I suppose I assumed things might go the same way.

Well, I didn't get out of the front door!!! The whole labour and birth took 3 hours and dd2 was delivered by my next door neighbour who had come round to look after dd1. It was the most amazing experience. To have a bath at home and too go to bed in your own bed.

I would highly recommend it.

Good luck

[camillathechicken]

sorry to hear that littlelamb.

[Slubberdegullion]

Oh littlelamb poor you. Is your mum nearby, or good friends who would be happy to be with you?

with regards to your birth plan I'd start with your MW (is she approachable?) and discuss your concerns with her.

[camillathechicken]

or have a doula?

[littlelamb]

I do have friends that I could ask, but tbh all of them have children of their own and I will need to ask one of them to look after dd during the birth. My mum lives very far away. A doula is something I have thought about, but I have no idea how to find one.

[Slubberdegullion]

I'm sure Camilla/Lulu will have a link for you.......

[camillathechicken]

doula uk

and nurturing birth also has a find a doula directory

wher are you?

[littlelamb]

I'm in Exeter

[camillathechicken]

okey doke, i know a few MNers have found doulas through here, so worth asking ...

[littlelamb]

That would be great. Am going to try and see my midwife this week so I can dicuss all of this with her. What to do with dd is going to be a problem. Do you think its feasable that if I am in labour through the night she will sleep through it

[camillathechicken]

she might ! depends on how much noise you make

not sure i know of any doulas on here in exeter, but definitely look at the two sites i linked to !

[littlelamb]

I will do. Thanks for all your help

[fingerwoman]

littlelamb, my mum took ds1 for me while I was in labour, but I wished I had kept him at home.

obviously it depends on how you feel about the whole thing, but I was definitely going to keep him at home had I laboured at night. I didn't though, but still wished I had

[Jaffaswife]

My second child was born 8 months ago at home in water. Perfect!!!

I had a straight forward first delivery at a birth centre (which has now closed). My second child was 6 days late and i ended up trying everything! Curries, ripe pineapple, sweep, evening primrose capsules up your bits, and finally reflexology!

GO FOR IT!!

Find a MW that will support you. I think that is really important

GOOD LUCK

[turtle23]

I am (hopefully) having a homebirth in the next few days(no, make that I will, as I'm overdue), and I live in a maisonette which means my pool is on first floor. The midwife (and the surveyor who I got in just in case) both said "Would you have a party and invite 10-15 people to stand in your lounge? Because that's how much the pool weighs." Put like that, you realise how silly it is to worry. I was told that unless you live in a 3rd or 4th floor bad conversion not to worry. As far as non-water births go, there is no trouble at all. Still deciding if/when to tell the neighbours though... Good Luck!