long second stage with no urge to push - anyone else?

[Spink]

hello! I'm pregnant with baby 2 and tho childbirth is a long long way off (due in Oct), I've been thinking about ds' birth.. and just wondering really.

First stage of labour was pretty good, stayed at home for as long as I could, got to hosp and was 5cm dilated, got a room with a pool, G&A, fully dilated 2 hours later. I had a really calm transition, not what I was expecting at all, contractions suddenly calmed down lots. I didn't have an urge to push, really, a little but not the crazy un-fightable urge you hear about. The mw told me to try pushing 3 times each contraction, and push I did (so much so that dh, on returning from a wee break, thought that a hand had been born, when in fact it was just my humungous piles. boak)
Anyway. 4 hours later, still no baby. ds' head had been 'a fingertip away' from crowning for several contractions but got 'stuck'. His heart rate then started being erratic, after hours of being totally steady. Consultant called, I was prepped for c/s (spinal block) but they agreed to try ventouse/episiotomy first. it worked! and hurrah we had lovely ds.
I hadn't heard of the no urge to push thing, until some weeks after I had ds actually, and I do wonder how it would have gone if I'd just done what I felt like doing. I also was surprised that the 2nd stage went for so long, had been told that they don't like women going for more than 2 hours?
Hearing anyone else's experiences would be great. I think I'm a bit worried about history repeating, and tho overall it was a positive birth experience, all that pushing led to really painful ladybits and bumbits for weeks afterwards, which I REALLY want to avoid if poss this time!

sorry for such a long one

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Hi there, I don't have any experience of this myself, but my sis did. With both her two she never really had an urge to push. She had long 2nd stages, and both were unassisted births.

I am currently reading about Hypnobirthing and from what I gather (I haven't finished the book yet!) it is only recently that woman have been told to push like there's no tomorrow. For example, woman in coma's have babies naturally and they are not pushing, they just allow the baby to deliver wth the contractions. If your mind and cervix are open and not hindered in anyway, your body will do it by itself.

I thought this was very interesting, but it doesn't address the fact that some woman feel an overwhelming urge to push?!

[Spink]

Iliketomoveit - i know, I guess it just underlines that labour is a law unto itself and will be as different as the women doing it!
I really like the idea of not forcing pushing if you don't feel it.. for the rest of my labour, I really felt like I was going with it, then suddenly I was being told to do (and doing) something which felt really odd..

[candyy]

Hello, i was induced with DS as he was quite content to stay where he was! Despite being repeatedly told by midwives and cajoled along 'let me know when you want to push' etc i really didn't have an urge either, and felt like i had to finally please them by admitted an urge to push when i didn't really have one.

Kinda feel a bit robbed of the whole 'body taking over knowing what do do with an urge to push' that my friends have described to me.

After a while i asked them to turn up the Syntocin to give me stronger contractions which then gave me an urge to push.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I would chat to your MW(s) and see what their opinions and experiences are on the pushing vs no pushing camps.

Maybe the forced pushing does cause more problems than not. For example, ladies who have epidurals often go onto have assisted births, and they are told when to push. Just a thought!

[candyy]

I read the mongan method hypnobirthing book and did the CDs too, and the breathing techniques were brilliant to help me get through a contraction. But it was only weeks later when talking to a friend about my birth i realised i had totally forgotten to do the birth breathing which is a gentler way of breathing your baby down.

I am looking forward to trying this next time.

I think i was just so focused on what the midwife was telling me - just like you spink - to push as hard as i could, three pushes in one contraction that I forgot all about the gentler way. And i too, was left with a lovely reminder of piles...

[beautifuldays]

i didn't really feel any urge to push (but then i did have an epidural) my second stage lasted 6 hours with ds, before they pulled him out with forceps

i had my second baby by caesarean, but from other people i know they all found their labour and second stage, much faster and more efficient second time round. your body knows what it has to do second time round iyswim.

sorry don't have anything more useful to add, but good luck

[neolara]

I had no urge to push with DD. The midwife had to tell me that I was on to the next stage and I needed to push. It took about about two hours, maybe a bit less, for DD to arrive after that. I assumed that it would be the same again with my second pregnancy. Oh no, no, no. Completely different. Very odd feeling of pressure and then massive urge to push. Out DS popped in five minutes flat.

I hope that is a reassuring story!

[sushistar]

Oh Spink, I'm SOOO GLAD you posted this. DS was born 13 weeks ago today. I wanted a home birth, and he was my first. Labour was very long, but I felt calm and happy with my TENS and then in my pool. 2nd stage came long and midwives kept getting me out of the pool to check progress, and I quite quickly was 10cm dilated, and they said they could feel baby's head, and 'he'll be here in a minute!'. Transition was fine, and I was coping well with gas and air, and still enjoying my pool. They kept asking me if I wanted me to push and I didn't, but eventually I said I did because they kept asking. They kept saying 'push push PUSH!!!' with each contractuion, but I felt no urge to. Eventually I got a bit stressed about it, and lost faith that my body would deliver the baby, as they seemed to be suggesting I should be feeling a pushing urge which I wasn't. I was also worried because gas and air had run out once, and the 2nd midwife had brought more from the hospital - but it was going on so long I was worried the 2nd tank was running out too. Eventually I asked to be transferred to hospital, and as I got into the ambulance I felt my waters break. The midwives had said they had broken hours before so when I said 'My waters have broken!' they didn't agree with me!! But I think they HADN'T broken and maybe that's why I didn't need to push? I also wonder if the gas and air was stopping me feeling the need to push?
Once at hospital I had episciotomy and ventuose, and ds was delivered 1/2 hour after we arrived.

Looking back, I wish I had had more confidence in my body. DS's heartbeat was fine all the way through, and the midwives yelling 'push push push' at me really undermined me. (they were lovely ladies tho ) I think if I had just waited for longer in my pool and had enough gas and air not to worry about it running out, the urge to push would have eventually come.

Sorry Spink, reading back I don't think this helps at all! But I guess one thing I might do differently next time is not feel pressured to push when I didn't want to.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

[Spink]

hello starlight! yay so nice to see a ttc thread grad talking about upcoming (i hope) baby birthing - congrats to you too!!
your position question - I was actually on my side, floating in the pool. I did wonder if I was moving around too little..
Then the next m/w got me out of the pool and told me to get on my back (I obeyed, had lost all motivation and sense of self by then..) but that was only for 3 or so contractions before the Dr came in..
will be good to compare notes with you about it all

[Spink]

sushistar, I've just read your post, and it so so so feels like my experience, especially the bit about losing confidence that your body knows what to do to deliver the baby..
I guess I should admit that I am worried about it this time round. It just felt like I was trying to tick a box for the m/ws, and though they were lovely like yours, it really undermined my confidence. I did have a doula but she was disappointingly quiet once we got to hospital, think it was her first hospital doula-ing experience, so I guess she might've been a bit undermined by the medical stuff too. (there's another first, she was so brilliant in other ways I've never felt I could admit to feeling disappointed in her support at that stage of labour before.. )
only big difference between us is that my waters had broken 28 hours before ds was born.. but I have heard that waters not breaking can slow things down, so maybe that was the case for you?

[Spink]

just to add, sushistar, your post really helped me to be honest with myself about my feelings, actually. and I agree with you, one thing I can hope to do next time is to be more confident in and patient with my body.. after all, it has amazed me in so many ways this past year. Yay!

[KKx]

The midwife was happy for me to keep pushing for 3 hours+ as the baby was not in distress and I was doing fine - the mirror was really encouraging.

I was using Hypnobirthing techniques but the birth breathing wasn't working and I just had to push, which was fine, he was a big boy at 9lbs 2ozs and I'm pretty small. Positive birthing experience using Hypnobirthing.

[sushistar]

Yes, it might have been the waters - but then midwives said they had broken before, so who knows?

I just feel, looking back, that had I just waited a while the pushing part would have come. I guess you had less of a choice last time because your baby's heartbeat changed. But now you know your 2nd stage might be that bit longer, perhaps you will feel more confident to say to the midwives 'I'll let you know when I need to push, thank you'. I know next time I will not push until I want to. I was trying to when they were yelling at me, but it wasn't at all effective because my body was not ready. So next time I won't bother till I'm good and ready!

I guess this being your second though, it may all go much more quickly!

[sushistar]

Re being honest - I'm finding it important to acknowledge the ways in which I could have been supported better in labour. At first I felt I couldn't because the midwives were lovely and in my head i felt mean if I felt anything bad about my support in labour. But it's been an importnant part of processing my whole birth experience, and it has helped me understand what happened. It's funny to feel like that, because overall I had a very positive birth, but I guess it's still important to acknowlede the negative as well as celebrate the positive.

That sounds so gushing, but I know what I mean!

[vacaloca]

Some interesting articles about this topic here, here and here.

[Twinklemegan]

Hi Spink. My story is a little similar. I began with an urge to push - well first of all I had involuntary pushing. Then I certainly got extraordinarily painful pushing contractions (DS had flipped back to back). DS's head was visible after only half an hour of pushing, and the MW predicted he'd be out within another half hour. Three hours into the second stage DS's head was still visible, but we were no further on, despite trying all sorts of different positions, which was hell.

I think I lost the urge to push after a couple of hours but I carried on pushing as hard as I possibly could, through the most horrific backpain. The doctors were called in, at which point I was basically accused of being a wimp, which didn't go down too well as you can imagine!

An episiotomy was tried to give DS's head more room to come out, but to no avail. My contractions were getting weaker and further apart and eventually stopped altogether for a fair few minutes. Then the monitor showed DS's heartbeat dipping and they were about to put me on a drip when the contractions started up again. I was begging the MW to use a ventouse to get DS out, but she refused insisting that I could do it. Eventually, after an extended episiotomy, I managed to push out DS's head. A few minutes later I finally delivered.

The MW then realised why I had been pushing for so long with no progress. DS had been busy rotating around and there was no way he could have come out until he had finished turning. I do wonder now if my body realised there was no way he could fit through, so tried to stop pushing until he was ready. Who knows. It was horrible anyway, so I really feel for you.

Good luck with no. 2!

[WestCountryLass]

I have never felt a huge urge to push. I have made 'pushy noises' apparantly but I never was like "I need to puuuuuuuuuuuuush nooooooooooow". With DS1 I had cervical lip and DD got a bit stuck and my contractions slowed right down and with DS I was in a lot of pain and I wanted labour over so did push but not with any real urge.

[Minkus]

Spink I'm in a similar situation, pregnant with dc2 and wondering if the urge to push will not appear this time round, just as it didn't with ds 3 years ago.

I didn't have a long second stage, about an hour, and my whole labour from first contraction to ds's birth was 4 hours so not a protracted experience at all. But I'd laboured on my own at home for 2.5 hours, upright most of the time, and when I got to the hospital they encouraged me to lie down on my back. I felt no urge to push whatsoever and it felt really wrong to push. It didn't hurt to push it just didn't feel right at all. This feeling of wrongness played like a video rewinding over and over again in my mind for weeks after ds was born, not saying that I was particularly traumatised but it was the worst bit of the birth by a long stretch.

This time round I will be staying upright more if I feel like it and letting the baby come down further through the force of my contractions rather than making my body do something it really didn't want to!

Interesting that being on our backs has made a difference to quite a few of us.

[lateylate]

Both times, I had no urge to push at all.

Both normal deliveries, but thank goodness there were midwives to tell me what to do.

The first one was in a semi-sitting position and I'd had oxytocin and pethedine in a relatively long labour.

The second was a quick and much more active birth and I was sitting to deliver - but again, no urge to push.

[Spink]

thankyou everyone, feeling all emotional today, preg hormones maybe! and reading all of this has made me a bit tearful , not in a bad way, just lovely to read all your responses, it helps to hear other people have been in a similar place..
Oddly, as I was reading, I had the sudden taste in my mouth of the gas & air, so it must all be taking me back there!
I am feeling more positive about the whole thing, will talk to my m/w about it properly when I'm a bit further along and birth is more of an issue! i hope to have a home birth this time, and have been thinking about having another doula who I'll be really open with about this stuff.

vacaloca, thanks so much for the links, I will read them properly later, it is great to feel equipped with knowledge!

twinklemegan - wimp!!? brilliant. you sound like you did an amazing job, without great support. it just seems again and again that it is so important to trust our babies and our bodies, and to be (and ask the medical teams to be) a little more patient.

minkus - when are you due? I'll be crossing fingers for you and watching out for your birth announcement when the time comes! will be really interesting to see if the urge to push makes an appearance, and if not, if it feels more ok even if it isn't there this time round.