REALLY wanted Homebirth but C -Sec under general anaesthetic is distinct possibility. Really spinning me out, any advice / experice?

[scruffymomma]

Hello

I'm only 24 weeks but due to an extensive DVT my pretty normal pregnancy has been turned around into something very medical and scary.

I had really wanted a homebirth (this is my first and only baby) mainly due to hospital / needle related anxiety but also as this will be my only attempt at labour & birth as have agreed with DH that this will be only baby.

Now because of risks, I've been warned that a c-sec under general anaesthetic is, while not guaranteed, a real possibility.

Obviously I don't want to do anything to risk myself or baby so will basically do what I'm told but the thought of completely missing out on my only opportunity to experience labour and birth is absolutely FREAKING me out. I just can't get to grips with being pregnant and then waking up after major op to find myself a mother and missing the whole process. They've said that DH won't be able to attend C-Sec under general and they think that epidural is too risky because of risk of bleeding on spine (because of anticoagulant medication I"m on).

I've been told that there is a chance that I could have a relatively normal delivery if all goes well but I've been red flagged and even if it does start naturally will be whipped in at the slightest whisper of labour to be poked and prodded and watched like a hawk.

I appreciated that everyone has a different view of ways of giving birth but I'd really appreciated some positive c-sec experiences, particularly if done under GA. I'm really concerned about how I'll be left feeling post natally

My DH has been amazing throughout all of this but he doesn't quite understand my distress at what could be my worst possible birth scenario.

many thanks
x

[crokky]

scruffymomma - would it help you to think that once your baby is born, if you are still out from a GA that your DH will be able to be with your baby and look after him/her, even though he can't be in the actual operation?

Re being poked, prodded and watched like a hawk, this happened to me due to complications, but I tried to think of it as being good for me and my baby as they would be really careful with us and watching for problems - rather than being one of these women who is in labour but the midwife has too many women to attend to and you are left frightened with little medical care?

Perhaps if you went on a tour of the maternity ward at your hospital it would help with your hospital anxiety?

[jlt]

Hi, Just a positive message about c-section delivery. I had both my children in this way due to health issues on my part. I was concerned that I would be missing out on the whole birth and labour thing but have to say that it was fine and if I was to have another child I would not hesitate in agreeing to another c-section. The recovery for me was not as bad as most people (especially the anti-section midwives) led me to believe it would be. Its sore of course and its a pain not being able to drive but apart from that it was not a big problem. Granted I was not under general for the procedures so it would of course be different but just wanted to say that I dont feel it had any adverese effect on me, my partner or my 2 beautiful children. Hope you get what you want but try not to worry. You should not be stressing out at this point. Think of yourself and baby and try to keep relaxed.

[SantaKLAWs]

Hello,

I totally sympathise with how you must be feeling... .

All I can think of to say at the minute is to read up on normal childbirth so that you know how best to achieve that (Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth is good!) and continue to plan for your preferred birth. Would a Doula be an option to support you and dh?

Also, prepare your Birth Preferences for any eventuality, normal, instrumental and CS births. That way you have some control and say over what happens in any scenario. That will help you to retain ownership over this birth. You still have rights even in a GA CS. I, personally, would be insisting my hardest that dh was still with me for a GA so that I have an advocate for me as I obviously can't speak for myself. Perhaps, photographs can be taken for you so that you have a record.

Check this page out about Planning a Good Caesarean.

I wish you a happy and healthy pg with the best birth possible! HUGS

[Camillathechicken]

surely if you have had a DVT then surgery, which will leave you immobile for number of hours ,and if you are on blood thinners, could lead to big bleeding, is actually the last thing to be advised? my sister had a baby 18 months ago, she had a DVT whislt pregnant and has a history of DVT and veinous problems in her legs. She had a natural delivery, with no problem at all, although was advised she cuold not have an epidural.

might be worth getting a second opinion on this

if you do end up with a c.s under g.a then make sure you ahve done birth preferences in advance, DH to have baby, baby to be given to DH before being washed and dressed, then to you for skin to skin as soon as, also, you can ask for no bottles to be given if you plan to breastfeed and you can request baby is cup fed if a feed is deemed absolutley necessary.

[nimnom]

My first pregnancy went pear-shaped at 24 weeks when I started bleeding and carried on bleeding on and off until I was induced and then delivered by c-section at 38 weeks.
I totally understand how you are feeling - all of a sudden I felt like I was ill rather than pregnant.
I didn't have a GA but the c-section was not too bad. I was left a bit bruised afterwards but that's because ds1 was lying awkwardly and it took longer than normal to get him out. Apart from that it was fine.
On the problems that you're having with the pregnancy, I found that once I'd got my head around it I just went with the flow. I had a couple of extra appointments with my consultant(at my request) so that I knew exactly what was going on and what the "plan" was. This really helped because although the midwives were great, ultimately it was the consultant that would be making the decision at the end.
In the end the most important thing is that you and your baby are safe and well. Hope it all goes well for you.

[yomellamoHelly]

Scruffymomms
What bad luck! I hope you've got the pain under control.
I also had a dvt whilst pg with ds1 at 24 1/2 weeks. It went up into my pelvis from mid calf (so also fairly extensive) and definitely freaked them out. Also got the whole doom and gloom from the medics, but as the pg progressed and I got through everything else that happened along the way (was allergic to the drugs and developed oc) they eased up and on the day had an uneventful birth despite similar warnings.
Despite the red flag the midwifes dealing with me didn't understand the ins and outs of what was and wasn't meant to happen to me (I think) and assisted me to have the normal labour I had wanted before this happened. The consultant on duty had to pop his/her head round the door once an hour (so twice in my case - it was a quickie) to discover everything was okay and that was it. The consultant wasn't anyone I'd met before so hadn't been party to all the doom and gloom. It was fine.
Also my six inch pile of notes was kept by the hospital so I only had my abbreviated maternity ones so I think that worked in my favour! (Not enough time for them to get hold of them.)
I was also red flagged for ds2 (obviously I suppose - but also I'd had another dvt in the meantime), but never got a check on since ds2 arrived so quickly.
Both times it meant we got one of the large delivery suites (in case umpteen people had to rush in I suppose) which was quite good actually - the other rooms are tiny by comparison.

So I'd say take it a day at a time and try to remain positive. Arm yourself with infomation (it's what I did), but it may all work out well too you know.

Take care of yourself.

[scruffymomma]

Ah this is great, thank you so much for the positive vibes, it's great to hear that hospital disorganisation can actually work in your favour! - I'll do my best to slip under the net unless things start to go awry.

My DH is very good at fighting my case so I think the advice about research is a good idea.

I too would have thought that anything to avoid major surgery whilst on blood thinners would have been a good idea, but I think as we're just getting going on this particular adventure they are being very cautious and warning of the various possibilites.

One thing I realised during my stay was that each consultant / midwife has a different opinion. So fingers crossed that on the day I might get one I agree with!

If there's anyone out these who has experience of childbirth under GA please do share. I just feel like I will be the least involved person there should it come to a GA - I'll be the last person to see my baby!!!

thanks again

[Jas]

Scruffymomma - I planned dd2 as a homebirth, and ended up with a crash section under GA. I was in hospital due to staff shortages, and supposed o go home to deliver, but I had a quick labour, and I had complications which also developed quickly, so ga was the only option, and I was obviously totally unprepared.

DP found it traumatic as it was unexpected and he thought he wa going to lose me and the baby, but I didn' have time to register what was happening. I remember coming round to find my best friend dressing dd2 for me, and I knew she was a girl, so someone must have told me when I was partially conscious. If you don't know the sex and want to find out yourself, or have your dh tell you, make sure you include that in your plan.

I breas fed dd2 and didn't have problems wih feeding or bonding, despite not being there for her birth. It took slighly longer han normal for me to recover due o the anaesthetic, and I felt like I needed o be in hospital for he firrst 24 hours, ut I was home in 5 day, and out with the double buggy at 10 days (not recommended!) I struggled with lifting my older dd, but managed all the baby care easily enough.

I hope you do manage to avoid the cs, but if you can't and it is the best way for you and your baby to get through the delivery I hope you can see that as a positive thing. Good luck, and sorry for the rmbling. I hope you can find something of use to you here.

[needmorecoffee]

I had 3 c-sections under GA and to be honest recoeverd far quicker than my 4th baby which was vaginal.
I do undertsand your urge to 'birth' which is why I pushed for my 4th baby to be a vbac. To be honest, its not all its crached up to be. 3 years on I'm still sittong on pain whilst after my sections I was out of hozzie in 2 days.
The most important thing is that you and your baby are ok, that really is the goal.
Planned c-sections are a lot calmer than emergencies. My first was emergency, the other 2 planned so I could pick the day and time and arrange for childcare for the older ones. It can be a positive experience if thats what you must have and you're not sitting on your stitches

[GloriaInEleusis]

I had DD under GA. And by the time they said they were going to knock me out I thought "Thank God, I've had enough of this. I really don't want to be here anymore." And I woke up later with DH and a lovely baby in his arms next to me.

Looking back, I think that it's the way to go.

And, I commend your hospital for telling you there is apossiblity and hence giving you the opportunity to ask around.

The worst part of the GA was that they wouldn't let me eat until I pooed. So I recommend smuggling in some food for when they aren't looking.

[PoinsettiaBouquets]

My first was born by emergency CSec under GA. TBH it was extremely welcome as I wasn't enjoying labour to say the least. Poor DH was scared witless natch but got handed the baby as soon as I went into the recovery room and I think this was great for him, even though he didn't really know what to do with her. She was given donated breastmilk until I was compos mentis enough to try breastfeeding - ask if your hospital has a milk bank. I was high as a kite and deaf as a post for about 18hrs LOL.
I recovered really quickly and could drive in 4wks but was bussing and training it around with the pram before that!
What you need to remember is that the so-called 'rush of love' that many women talk about after natural labour is just chemicals, natural drugs. It's the body & brain's way of ensuring you have more babies and will not abandon your baby immediately. I didn't feel it but I'd already bonded with the bump anyway - I'd made a deal with it back in the 1st trim that I would do my best as a mum as long as it stopped making me sick! Try and focus on the things you can control.

[fruitful]

I've had 2 babies by cs with a spinal. (I planned a homebirth both times!). I am now pg again and currently living on the antenatal ward, waiting to have baby by cs under general anaesthetic.

My bed is near the midwife-led-birthing-unit, and over the last 2 months I have had to listen to a lot of women giving birth with gas&air as pain relief.

I have come to the conclusion that the birth experience is vastly overrated.

I'll let you know how GA compares to spinal in a few weeks time!

[orangehead]

hi, I had a c section under a ga, it was not planned, after 18hrs of normal labour things turned horribly wrong and they didnt really have much time to explain and just ran to threatre and knocked me out. Having a c section for me was not a nice experience but I feel the worst parts was firstly not being prepared for it and it being such a panic and not knowing what was happening and secondly missing the first few hours and his first bf as they latched him on as I was still out of it. I know it mustnt be nice for you but I think because you know it is a possibility you can try and get use to it in your head which I think is vital in coming to terms with it. I had bad pnd which I think had alot to do with with the trauma of it all and missing the birth. I think it may help you if someone takes a video of your babies first moments, providing your baby is well he/she will be brought straight out to your dh. Make sure you are still given contact with your baby despite being unconscious and for that to be filmed for you to watch and be reassured that your baby was with you. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope all goes well

[chipmonkey]

I had ds3 under GA. While I would have preferred to be awake, I really don't think it upset my bond with ds3, I breastfed him for 2.8 years and he is very much my baby! I've had 3 CS's and will probably have my 4th next April but at the end of the day, a healthy Mum and baby are the only things that really matter.

[PoinsettiaBouquets]

Forgot to say I had DD late Tues eve and was out Friday lunchtime. Had she arrived earlier it would only have been 2 nights. I slept for about 8hrs before I got to hold her but that was due to a 24hr labour and no sleep for days, rather than the GA .

[scruffymomma]

many thanks again for your stories, it's a big help.

Of course, at the end of the day, I just want a healthy baby so I'll do whatever it takes to achieve that.

My main worries are to do with not bonding with my baby so quickly and possibly developing PND as I may feel like I was detached from the process.

Does anyone know if cases of PND as linked to different types of birth - good websites you could point me to? (not really sure where to start, was naively assuming it was all going to be "normal"!!)

I also have to admit to myself that there's a large part of me that feels like it won't be "me" who's giving birth to my baby and that will somehow make me feel like a failure.......But as my DH keeps telling me, you don't get extra points for doing it in a particular "right' way.

Obviously the positive stories here go against my fears and I know that it's the business of being a mum that really counts. I am confident in my ability to at least give that my best shot no matter how the lo gets here.

DH was at the birth of his older daughter and can tell me about that experience, I hate the thought of neither of us knowing anything about the birth of our only child together.

Also would never have thought of having the first moments taped. V.good suggestions, going to investigate this.

xx

[GloriaInEleusis]

I think you could find lots of studies to back up any conclusion you might like to draw. Some will say caesareans cause PND, other will point to vaginal birth, other will point to particular drugs, whether or the father was there. I wonder if any talk about birthing position???? (kidding)

Personally, I think that when a mum to be has all her eggs in one basket (i.e. really really wants a particular kind of birth) and doesn't get it that the disappointment can contribute to (but not couase on it's own) the onset of PND. And this is exactly why I think it's good that the hospital was honest with you and said hey, a section under GA is a possibility.

Oh, and having a baby by section does not inhibit your ability to bond or breast feed or any of the other lovely stuff that comes with new borns.

Good luck! And please remember that if you have a section it's not the end of the world.

[Camillathechicken]

PND can be linked to mode of delivery, but more often it is not solely the mode of delivery but the support leading up to it and after it that make a vast difference. i know women who;ve had straightforward vaginal births and had PND, or have had sections and had PND. trauma at the time of delivery, is in my opinion more likely to cause PND than the mode itself.

no doubt you could find all sorts of studies to back up each theory !

forewarned is forearmed, knowing there is a chance of a c.s under GA gives you time to prepare up to a point, mentally, and to think about how you want things.

[santassackertysack]

I had DS via an emergency c section under general so slight different circumstances as I had no time to get my head round it!
I have to admit that I found is quite upsetting at the time as I felt that I missed out on 'special' moments like seeing him when he was delivered and being able to take his first pictures etc BUT it soon dawns that it means nothing when you have them safe and well!! I didn't get to see him for 20 hours and managed to bond with him although it is a bizarre feeling waking up a mum!!! What ever happens it will still be an amazing time for you.

[LiegeAndLief]

Haven't had time to read all the threads so sorry if I'm just repeating everyone. I was also planning a homebirth but had ds at 34 weeks by cs (no labour) due to pre-eclampsia. I was awake when he was born but he went straight to SCBU and stayed there for 7 weeks - I didn't hold him until he was 5 days old. We never had any trouble with bonding or breastfeeding, but his birth and first couple of months hung over me for at least a year. I became obsessed by it, thought about it all the time and found it very upsetting that I had missed out on so much - but didn't actually tell anyone how I was feeling. Eventually I confessed to dh and got copies of both our hospital notes. I still read the notes for his birth and first few days every now and then and it helps me feel more connected. He is now 16 months and although I feel a little sad about his beginning, it doesn't matter nearly as much and becomes less important as he gets older. So after waffling on for ages about myself I would say talk about how you feel, a lot if you need to (maybe on mn if everyone else is fed up listening to you!), don't worry if you feel upset about it - just acknowledge it and talk and give yourself time to "grieve" for what you missed. And don't listen to anyone who says "well you and the baby are both fine, that's all that matters"!

[LiegeAndLief]

Sorry just realised you were asking for positive experiences - hope I haven't worried you, I just wish I had acknowledged how I felt a lot earlier as I think it would have helped me move on. As I said we had no problem bonding, I loved him to bits from the start even through his incubator! Hopefully as you are forewarned you will be able to sort out your feelings a bit before the birth and then focus on your gorgeous baby

[PoinsettiaBouquets]

There's also a difference between PND and Post Natal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they are often confused and the latter can be misdiagnosed as PND and thus stats are affected. PNPTSD is to do with your own or loved one's life feeling in danger the brain's inability to deal with such emotions at the time, rather pushing them away until the danger is over. It causes flashbacks, feeling stuck in the event, anger and often violent fantasies if you hold someone else responsible.
I had PNPTSD after my DD was born but it was sparked by my feelings during labour (wanted to die basically) rather than the emergency CSec. I'm quite unusual that way!

[evenhope]

Haven't read all the posts but had DD2 8 months ago by CS having planned a homebirth. She was breech and wouldn't turn. I was really upset (and am needle phobic). Turned out to be a very positive experience, and the pain afterwards was no worse than the stitches and bruising from 4 previous "normal" vaginal deliveries.

It felt surreal knowing the date she'd be born, but after 2 late and 1 early it was nice not having 3 weeks of "is this labour?" at every twinge.