Didn't get labour pains, confused...

[Mamabear1990]

Hello,
My baby is nearly 1 now but I've been so devastated about my birth I pushed it to the back of my mind. Just want to know if anyone experienced similar...
Started late at night I had some discharge that was pink. Didn't think anything of it. Spent the next day at my new flat doing DIY. By the end of the day I was getting dull period pains and pains in my lower back. But as I was 35 weeks I didn't think anything of it.
My friends encouraged my to ring triage but because I was still in a shared house, I went into denial and said I would be fine and call them in the morning.
The morning came, still getting period pains every half an hour-ish. (Just to add that I only had one antenatal class by then and was due to meet my midwife to discuss birth plan the following week so I had no idea what to expect in labour only what I assumed - gushing waters and intense contractions).
Anyway... Got through to triage in the morning. Went into hospital with my partner. They examined me and waters came out and I was 1cm. They hooked me up to monitors and when I rolled onto my other side, the baby's heartrate dropped and doctors rushed in and put me under general anaesthetic for an emergency cesarean.
My months of birth hypnosis and preparation for a natural waterbirth went out the window. I was/am still devastated. I went to talk to a senior midwife to go over my birth (a service called after thoughts) but I felt embarrassed once I was there as everyone says "at least you are both safe that's the main thing".
I don't want to seem ungrateful but I want to know what happened. Anyone else experience anything similar and do you have any explanations for the lack of pain and why I couldn't have a vaginal delivery?

[Reubenshat]

The baby’s heart beat dropped so they had to act fast. I had an emergency C section after dd heart rate dropped. They pressed the alarms and people came from all directions. She was out super fast.

I understand you wanting to go back over it. I felt the same and it’s only after the consultant on my next pregnancy commented that my previous dd was actually back to back and that’s why I was struggling to get her out.

When my cousin was having her ds she only had mild contractions but by the time she got to hospital his head was on the way out.

All births are different. Sounds like you went in to Labour a bit early and the doctors found that your dc was getting tired ( dropped heart beat) and they acted swiftly.

[Prettybluepigeons]

Those dull period pains WeRE labour pains. Just early ones They had got you to 1cm dilated.

The intense pain and a gush tends to only happen in films!
You were really lucky that it was picked up straight away that your baby was struggling. If not she could have died or ended up with brain damage.

[yoyoyo5678]

Pushing and feeling those last strong contractions is no fun. EMCS is scary but your only other option was putting your baby in danger. Birth plans rarely ever go to plan, they are only put in place to make you feel some sort of control in the lead up

[Sweettea1]

You were 1cm thats why pains weren't strong I was same with ds only knew it was labour once on the machine that reads contractions I was 3cm then b4 i knew it doubled over in pain an 6cm the pain comes gradually.

[Mamabear1990]

Thank you so much for your comments, it's a really sensitive issue for me because it was such a shocking experience and I was left with so many questions and worried there was something wrong with me.

Makes a lot of sense that if I were to go into labour, the pain would have got worse as I dialated more. In hindsight I should've gone to hospital as soon as I saw pink stuff just to check. I was really naive.

[Mamabear1990]

Correction - I know I was in labour, I just hope I am capable of a VB next time if I go to hospital straight away.

[FancyARoot]

Birth Afterthoughts should have gone through the whole thing with you, explaining what was done and why. Did they not do that? If not, I would go back. They are usually a fantastic service.

[EarringsandLipstick]

@Mamabear1990

In hindsight I should've gone to hospital as soon as I saw pink stuff just to check. I was really naive.

You didn't do anything wrong. You were in early labour, it was fine to stay at home.

What happened in hospital wasn't related to this - unfortunately your baby got into distress, and needed an EMCS to ensure a safe outcome, which is thankfully what happened.

You've every reason to hope for a VBAC next time 😊

[Blue2309]

Hypnobirthing is a bit of a con. Yes keeping calm and learning breathing techniques is all well and good, but fundamentally it won't make any difference to your birth. These companies sell this idea that you are more likely to have a natural water birth if you adopt their techniques. It's just not true. I'm sorry it sounds like such a traumatic experience. However please stop beating yourself up. I had a difficult birth and what I sometimes think is 'ok well I could have refused all intervention and had an all natural birth...but my baby would have been dead/brain damaged.' I know that sounds brutal but it's true.
Birth is an event to get a baby. Not some transformative experience that somehow empowers you for the rest of your life. (It took me a long time to realise that myself so I do understand.)

[BeautyAndTheBump1]

Unfortunately with child birth we have absolutely no control over it. The pains you experienced was labour pains, and unfortunately because babys heartrate dropped they had to act fast to potentially save your babys life. There is nothing you could have done differently, even if you went in earlier, it would have made no difference. They would have sent you home because you weren't in established labour and then you could have been sat at home whilst baby was in distress and be completely unaware and something bad happen. You actually went in at the perfect time as it was picked up and baby arrived safely. Xx