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Feeling scared about giving birth

(15 Posts)
Sunnytimes04 Wed 05-Aug-20 12:40:01

Hey, im 29+4 with my first and up in yesterday I have been ok with the thought of birth, not really worried ( yes I knew its going to hurt but he is in the now so the only option is to come out. ) Then stupid me thought it would be a good idea to "prepare" and start reading about it...big stupid mistake.

Now I'm worrying about all sort of things - the amount of pain, being cut, peeing afterwards ( what if that goes wrong, terrified of needing a cavita! )
Watched a video of someone getting a epidural...was almost sick ( scared of needles anyway )

I still don't know how to make a birth plan/understand what the best route is. or do I really have to because nature is going to take do what it wants anyway.

Sorry for the long post, I do understand it's irrational to be thinking like this because millions of women do it all the time. Just feeling really overwhelmed with it all at the moment!

OP’s posts: |
Wolfiefan Wed 05-Aug-20 12:46:06

The amount of pain? Look into pain relief options. There is so much that can help.
Cut? I wasn’t. Did tear though. Had no idea until they gave me gas and air pre stitching!
Peeing? Fine. Never needed a catheter. If it is a bit of a sting then pour a jug of water over yourself as you pee!
Know your options. All of them.
Wishing you a nice straightforward and pretty quick and easy births like mine. They do happen!!!

MsSquiz Wed 05-Aug-20 12:53:21

My birth plan was to have a water birth with gas and air (ideally) but I hadn't discounted any form of pain relief except pethidine as I've had it before and was very sick.

Actual labour:
Contractions started at 6am, no waters breaking, no show. Got to hospital at 12ish, 4cm dilated and blood pressure sky high so was sent from the midwife led unit to the delivery suite. Tried gas and air - it didn't do a thing! The midwife offered an epidural (also helps bring BP down) and I accepted. Didn't see the needle (didn't want to) and didn't feel a thing. I then had a very chilled out labour watching tv, chatting to DH and the midwives until 1am when I started pushing. DD was moving down with each push but going back between pushes so they suggested an episiotomy & forceps, again, I agreed. I closed my eyes from the first push and didn't open my eyes until DD was on my chest at 2:02am.

I still consider my birth story to be a positive one

Johnson10 Wed 05-Aug-20 13:59:09

I was exactly the same as you! Terrified. I wanted a lovely water birth with only gas & air but the actual birth was far from that. My biggest fear was being induced, going on the drip, having an assisted delivery & an episiotomy ... I had all of those! Haha but you know what, it wasn’t half as scary as I imagined.
The gas & air didn’t touch the sides, 3 failed epidural attempts so I delivered with nothing.
I had been up for over 24hrs & I was exhausted. But I did it !! And you will too ... you get this strength from a place you didn’t know existed. I promise your going to be absolutely fine.

Sunnytimes04 Wed 05-Aug-20 16:29:50

Thank you for your lovely comments, I will keep looking into different options and pain relif. Hopefully it won't be as bad as my head is making it.

OP’s posts: |
bumpyknuckles Wed 05-Aug-20 16:38:12

It's really not that bad. Loads of people do it twice (or three, four, five times). If it was the worst thing ever, no one would do it more than once would they?

You're always going to get some twat who wants to wind you up when you're pregnant by telling you horror stories. Don't listen to them. Ask women you know who've done it and don't talk about it. They probably don't talk about it because it was ok and not very dramatic at all.

nasiisthebest Wed 05-Aug-20 16:46:47

I have no idea what it looks like on a screen to get an epidural but I had one and loved it.

Bert2020 Wed 05-Aug-20 16:54:33

Epidurals are brilliant and you don’t see a thing! It’s all done behind you.

Wolfiefan Wed 05-Aug-20 16:58:02

Honestly I was lucky but most of my labour was strong sensations rather than pain with my first. I got to hospital about 2 and a half hours before he arrived!
And remember you don’t need a strict plan. I might like a water birth or I would like to try gas and air if I want it. I wouldn’t rule out an epidural etc. Leave your options open.
And good luck!!

stayathomer Wed 05-Aug-20 16:59:19

Just to add the gas sucky thing is so much better than the mask if you get the option as you bite down. Op, you just have to remember at the end there's a baby. Just keep thinking that, just have to get to the baby part. The hospital staff are with you all the way and they do this every day. Best of luckflowers

FourPlasticRings Wed 05-Aug-20 17:06:24

I'm 31 weeks in with my second. My thoughts about labour, if it's any consolation:
- It's definitely not the most fun day ever, but it's a very short time out of your entire life and it's worth it in the end.
- By the end of the third trimester, you're so ridiculously uncomfortable you cannot wait for labour to start!
- Women in comas have given birth successfully. Your body will do it for you, generally speaking. Don't worry that any of your choices will be make or break, they won't be.

rottiemum88 Wed 05-Aug-20 17:13:19

Don't fear the epidural! They can be amazing. Mine turned labour from hell into a breeze grin

Yummymummy2020 Wed 05-Aug-20 17:15:22

I had an epidural which was a total success, no pain whatsoever after it. It was called a walking one so I could still move my legs. I also had an induction forceps and epistomy and I got through it great with the epidural. I even napped in the delivery suite for a bit. You will feel more confident when you read up on all your options for pain relief so that you know what you can have should you decide to avail of it! It’s perfectly normal to be nervous, it will all be worth it in the end!❤️

Yummymummy2020 Wed 05-Aug-20 17:16:59

Oh and I should add, it may have been the skill of the person that did it but getting my epidural didn’t hurt at all, they numbed my back first. Honestly I felt getting my blood taken more on the ward!!! The fact you are not facing them doing it too helps a lot and it was very fast too to get done!!!

shazzz1xx Wed 05-Aug-20 19:58:49

I had my first 12 month ago and I was petrified I’m 35 and said I would never have them as I didn’t want to give birth .... but I had epidural and I didn’t feel a thing even when I came home or used the toilet for the first time I didn’t even feel like I had a baby.. I had cavita due to having epidural but again didn’t feel a thing... the epidural is amazing I couldn’t imagine doing it with out it x

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