VB or C section for 2nd child?

[PiafPilaf]

After a horrendous first birth experience, largely due to hospital incompetence and ending in forceps delivery with spinal block and PTSD, consultant has said I can have an ELCS this time if I want to. It hadn’t actually occurred to me and now I don’t know what to do! On the one hand the idea of it being calm and planned, not going through 32hrs of contractions, and no further long-lasting undercarriage issues (like I still have) is very appealing. On the other I’m worried about the recovery time (though last time it was a good three weeks before I could walk properly anyway), and if I’m honest in a very vain way the scar, or the ‘shelf’ that might be left. Also wondering as I’ve heard 2nd VB is often much easier and some have said can be very healing (mentally) after a traumatic first birth.

Any experiences / advice would be very much welcomed!

[LillianFullStop]

Following this thread as I am 24w with my second and will have to make the same decision - I am literally back and forth at the moment and no closer to a conclusion.

DD1 was in distress due to being back to back and was getting stuck. Got wheeled into theatre and a spinal - if the episiotomy/forceps trial failed it would have been an EMCS for me. Thank goodness not as recovering from EMCS on top of a forceps delivery would have been horrendous. 3rd degree tear so referred to consultant for this pregnancy to discuss birth options. At least I have been told they will support my decision either way so I don't need to fight for it.

[puds11]

Having had both, I would choose vaginal over c section any day. However, my vaginal resulted in no tearing, 10 hour easy labour and about 2 days recovery. My c section was an emergency and as such I think my stitches were more rushed than a planned and the removal of the baby more forceful as she was at risk. I also scar so now have a large keloid scar from the op. I’d say 7 months on I don’t feel recovered, I’m slightly traumatised by the ‘removal’ of the baby and I currently have a bit of a shelf that I don’t know whether it will get better.

I found recovering from a c section very depressing however an elected c section is very different from an emergency.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

My first was a long labour, failed forceps and then an emcs. The bruising from the forceps was worse than the c-section recovery. I could walk fine as soon as the epidural wore off, couldn't sit comfortably for a while though and that was with no tears or cuts.

On the other I’m worried about the recovery time (though last time it was a good three weeks before I could walk properly anyway)

After both my emergency sections, I was walking fine within hours. Didn't need any pain killers post theatre. With dc2 I went out for lunch when she was 2 days old and was back walking dc1 the 3 mile roundtrip to preschool pushing the pram by the time she was 2 weeks old. I still have a bit of dc2's baby weight to lose (she's nearly 2, I'm lazy) but don't have a shelf either. However it's so individual. I hated my sections for emotional reasons even though dc2's was amazing.

What's your personal worse case scenario? I was almost 41 when dc2 was born. I knew she had a giant head (all dh's family have giant heads) and that his sisters and his mum still have incontinence issues years later from their tears. I knew that age made it more likely I'd tear if she didn't get stuck like her brother and so, booking an elective even though I hated the idea of another section made the most sense to me as an individual.

As it happened, she was already born by the time my elective section rolled around but I think it was the right choice for us based on my worst case scenarios/past experience.

[PiafPilaf]

I think I’m leaning towards ELCS..... every time I go to the loo I remember how painful that was for at least a year after, and the thought that it might happen again but worse really scares me! Plus I was so traumatised after the birth of my DD and this time I can’t afford several months of being mentally and emotionally nearly destroyed as I need be there for her as well as the baby...

[MrsCl19]

Wow your stories all make mine sound like a walk in the park!

My labour was really good but when it came to delivery I couldn't feel anything after pethidine I was completely out of it so she was telling me to push and I just couldn't so ended in episiotomy and ventouse whilst a woman on the phone was going on about an emcs .... the recovery was awful but I'm just putting it down to the pethidine and I'm hoping when I get round to it this time if i done have it it will be different 🤞🏼

I do think the idea of ecs makes everything less stressful especially after the birth you had. My mum had a bad birth and her second was completely different

[ChikiTIKI]

I had the same kind of first birth and having ELCS this time, end of next month. It could still be traumatic but a lot more controlled and the things that caused my ptsd last time were mainly the instrumental delivery and episiotomy done without warning, against my wishes and without consent, followed PPH with no communication about the blood loss so I thought I might die.

I can't imagine a birth without trauma but we shall see what happens. I also can't imagine having a newborn without all the adrenaline of ptsd. Will be strange but great.

If you're unsure you could always get the ELCS booked in but then if you go in to labour before, it's up to you what you do (likewise you could change your mind on the day). If it would make you feel better having this option in place in case you want it?

[ChikiTIKI]

Also my main reason is that I can't go through the ptsd again... Not with a toddler who will notice that I can't function, let alone finding the time for 20+ therapy sessions... Not worth the risk to me.

[PiafPilaf]

@ChikiTIKI definitely - a baby doesn’t notice as much, a young child will. I need to be there properly for my DD!

[userabcname]

I had a traumatic birth with DC1 that ended in a 3dt and pph. I had a ELCS 4 months ago with DS2 and it was fantastic. Calm, straightforward, smooth delivery. I was up and about the following day, no painkillers at all after 10days, felt right as rain within 3 weeks. A far cry from my first recovery when I struggled to walk even 4 weeks post partum! I'd definitely have an ELCS if I have another.

[Giroscoper]

Piaf how old is your DD? How much support will you have afterwards from partner/family/friends?

My first section was an emergency, I recovered really easily as I had Dh, for 2 weeks then my Mum for a week.

Ds2 was an ELCS but Ds1 was just shy of 3. This was a harder recovery because it wasn't just me and a baby pottering around, I had a 3 year old who for the last 18 months had had me all to himself as I became a SAHM. So this blew his world apart and I wanted to be there for him.

Plus we had moved so I had no family nearby nor had I made any friends so I was completely alone after Dh's 2 weeks of paternity leave ran out (this was 14 years ago though)

This depends on does your DD go to nursery or are you a SAHM etc. I could drive after 3 weeks in an absolute emergency but didn't feel comfortable doing it for fun. How will you manage your day to day if you choose the c section?

I am not trying to put you off just the practicalities of maintaining what you do now. Ds1 was a very chilled, undemanding child. Ds2 was a tornado of energy!

[BabyLlamaZem]

I've actually written another thread similar to this. I also had an awful labour and actually pushed for a cs to avoid the forceps with a back to back baby. I loved my cs and would.do it again, but I want more children so might not be a good idea.for me.

I think if you know what to expect and do some reading up e.g. be aware there will be lots.of people in the room, you'll feel a bit sick after, you'll need a bit of extra help, then cs is great. Who knows, you might need an ecs anyway if you have all this fear as fear slows labour down.

A planned cs has generally better recovery than ecs. If I were you I'd go for cs.

[Stripeyshirts2450]

I had no issues going to the toilet after my c section. I was achey and found it harder to get up, but only for a couple of weeks. I still did it. Downstairs area felt fine.

[99problemsandthecatis1]

I was in your position and opted for the c section. My toilet issues are no worse. I have no pain or numbness in the stomach and no overhang. My scar is still very purple but it's hidden by knickers. Unlike my hideous stretch marks.