‘I’m lucky that I didn’t have to experience contractions.’
‘I’m lucky that I didn’t have to go through labour.’
‘I’m lucky I never had to go through all that pain.’
I’m not lucky.
I’m not lucky that my placenta didn’t work.
I’m not lucky that at 37 weeks my baby weighed a mere 4pounds 13oz.
I’m not lucky that the safest route out for her was by cesarean.
I’m not lucky that I didn’t get a choice.
I’m not lucky that my once managed anxiety is now out of control, due to being cut 5 layers deep.
I’m not lucky that I worry every day that I’m doing too much, or that I might get an infection.
I’m not lucky that I couldn’t care for my baby the
way I expected to in the first 2 weeks of her life.
I’m not lucky that every now I still can’t lift her in her car seat.
I’m not lucky that I still can’t drive to take her out.
I’m not lucky that I didn’t get to experience contractions, or labour.
Stop telling me I am lucky, like I’ve been given the easy option. It’s not easy.
Even when I tell people that I would have liked to experience a contraction, or I would have liked to have had the experience of labour and a vaginal birth. I get told ‘trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted that’ or ‘no you wouldn’t!’
Yes, I would.
Why wouldn’t I? For the pain? For being sore? For the risk of stitches?
I’m not fucking lucky.
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Childbirth
I wish people would stop telling me I’m lucky.
44 replies
YicketyYackMamasBack · 03/02/2020 06:04
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