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Is it normal to miss labour/pregnancy?

(25 Posts)
Hannah9176 Tue 05-Nov-19 22:16:49

I had my DD 4 weeks ago and I'm finding myself hugely missing being pregnant and wishing I could go back and give birth again too. My pregnancy was uncomplicated and enjoyable and my labour couldn't have gone better had I tried. I actually went into labour with no birth plan/no expectations of natural labour/wanted to take all the drugs and simply had the mindset of "shes got to come out so not point getting stressed" however it was an amazing experience, very quick, gas & air only and just genuinely loved the entire experience.

I love thinking back on the experience and I'm finding myself really missing being pregnant. We went back to the birth centre last week and I had this overwhelming feeling of missing out because I wasn't there to give birth. I've also had a friend today post about having her baby and I was sad/jealous that it wasn't me!

I just wanted some perspective of it it's normal to really miss it so much? I feel like at this rate the second I'm given the all clear at my check up I'll want to get pregnant again

OP’s posts: |
mawof3soontobe Tue 05-Nov-19 22:19:43

I feel this on every level and this is coming from someone who's had three children and had HG with every single pregnancy! I bloody loved labour. Like it's hard but it's such a life altering earth standing still rush of emotion! And don't get me started on the newborn stage.... My ds3 is 18 weeks today and it breaks my heart how fast it all went

PhoenixBuchanan Thu 07-Nov-19 22:12:54

I can relate so much to this. I was in deep grief for weeks after my second child was born because the birth was such a powerful experience, and because I knew she was my last child and I'd never do it again. I felt alone, like no one understood, until I discovered that one of my oldest friends had felt exactly the same way. Just knowing that other people felt the same way really helped.

Hannah9176 Thu 07-Nov-19 23:01:18

Thank you! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this. I knew I would miss being pregnant but it's surprised me just how much I wish I could go back and do it all again. I was never expecting to feel so attached to the actual birth process!

OP’s posts: |
DramaAlpaca Thu 07-Nov-19 23:06:26

My youngest is now 22 & I am too old to have any more. I still look back on his birth as one of the most wonderful, powerful & positive experiences of my life. It was amazing. If I could experience that again, I'd do it tomorrow as long as I didn't have to do the whole baby thing again grin

Doyoumind Thu 07-Nov-19 23:10:47

I don't think it's unusual at all.

scrivette Thu 07-Nov-19 23:11:41

I completely understand. I really missed my huge bump and the anticipation of awaiting the baby.

With my last DC I was told I had to have a CSection and I was very disappointed at first as I had really 'enjoyed' the experience of giving birth preciously. However, I quickly realised the most important thing was a safe arrival, even though I felt slightly cheated.

ColdToesHere Thu 07-Nov-19 23:14:05

I thought I was the only one who felt like this.
I had two emcs, genuinely traumatic and caused massive anxiety, but at the same time, I miss that emotion of giving birth to my child (albeit through the sunroof!)

Thank you for starting this thread!

Yoohoo16 Thu 07-Nov-19 23:18:55

Totally understand this.
Couldn’t wait to meet my baby and once she was here I wanted to put her back!
My labour was a nightmare but I still loved it.
I also felt like she wasn’t ‘new’ for long enough. I mean it’s great, I felt like I’d had her forever but she just grew up to fast.
The feelings pass and imo it’s just got better and better.
I’ve just found out I’m expecting number 2 and I’m completely crapping it.

TrixIrl Thu 07-Nov-19 23:30:41

My DD is 7 months old now and I had a full sobfest today about missing being pregnant and only having to mind the "one body" if you know what I mean.

I had an extremely tough time while pregnant (extreme nausea for 9 months, uterine surgery, GD, SPD, carpal tunnel, EMCS after failed painful induction etc) and on paper I should never want to be back there. But I do. So I hear you.

Hannah9176 Thu 07-Nov-19 23:32:15

Yeah I just want to pop her back in my belly at night and let her kick about inside me again. It's very accurate to hear birth described as powerful!

It's nice to have this forum to discuss this too and hear so many other people's experiences. I'm the first of my friends to have a baby (some of my friends are having a really rough time ttc) so I'm trying to keep a lid on talking about baby/pregnancy/birth 24/7.

OP’s posts: |
TrixIrl Thu 07-Nov-19 23:34:26

I hear that @Hannah9176 I was so lonely after giving birth as none of my friends are there yet and I'm so conscious of not going on and on about DD.

At least when I was pregnant, I could run bump and smile to myself and still socialise, work etc.

MatildaCat Thu 07-Nov-19 23:34:36

I felt exactly the same and like no one, particularly DH, didn't understand. It's such an incredible, empowering experience. I feel very lucky to have had it! Due DC2 in Dec and might be booked for ELC if she doesn't turn. Been in tears over the thought of not having a labour and water birth like DC1 and so worried about bonding etc after. Obviously most important thing is that the baby has a healthy birth and start to life but I will be sad to miss the experience for possibly my last DC.

MaverickSnoopy Thu 07-Nov-19 23:41:43

3 awful pregnancies and labours here and I deeply miss it all. I don't have any more of me to have a fourth, but would love to go through it all again.

OhHolyNightWaking Sat 09-Nov-19 20:32:48

Yes!!!

I had my second (and definitely final) baby in January and have had these very strong feelings since.

I definitely don't want any more babies, but I really mourn the passing of my last pregnancy and that I will never labour and give birth again. It's quite confusing!

I didn't even have the best pregnancy, particularly second time when I was huge and still vomiting in the third trimester, but I feel sad that I will never have a little life growing safely inside me again, feel the kicks, the excitement of scans and even the anticipation of TTC.

My second labour was a wonderful, textbook water birth (my first wasn't bad either but the second truly was perfect) and I wish I could go back and relive it.

I think there's something to be said for feeling sad that an important chapter of your life (the childbearing one) is over (in my case anyway as definitely finished breeding) and it's an understandable way to feel.

When I look at my two children together I just feel pure joy and I have no sense that something is missing, my family is complete, so I hope with time these feelings fade. I don't think they're as strong as they were, so hopefully that is a good sign!

Jsh125 Sat 09-Nov-19 22:49:13

Absolutely completely 100% know where you're coming from! I have a nearly 3 year old & 10 month old. I loved being pregnant, the anticipation of the excitement to come, giving birth & having a newborn (REALLY don't miss the sleepless nights 😂).

After both of mine were born, but especially number 2, I felt a real sadness at the whole experience being over (the best one was obviously just starting). I really felt quite down about it for a long time. It's lovely to hear that I'm not the only one who feels like this.

We are stopping at 2 & whenever I see pregnant people & especially anyone of my friends / family who are pregnant I get that tiny pang of envy!

I wouldn't trade my two for the world but I definitely feel sad that I won't get the experience of growing & delivering a tiny human again. It's such an insane, emotional, empowering experience that you just can't put into words or understand unless you've done it.

Pinkblueberry Sat 09-Nov-19 22:51:57

I felt a bit like that, not so much about being pregnant, but the labour bit - not the whole thing I suppose but definitely the end and giving birth and the cuddles after. I still miss that moment now, it’s been over a year and half!

FridalovesDiego Sat 09-Nov-19 22:54:54

Yes, I loved being pregnant and had very easy births and easy babies. I was pregnant again less than 6 months later as I enjoyed it all so much

Alsioma Sun 10-Nov-19 01:33:24

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Duggeeismysaviour Sun 10-Nov-19 20:52:34

I had it! Now a few weeks away from dc2 being born and I'm starting to feel it already, particularly as I know it's coming, and I have loads of friends who will be pregnant after me. I wouldn't say this in real life as I know it sounds nuts

Yankeesocks Mon 11-Nov-19 14:32:10

Yes it's normal to miss it. My friends around a similar age had terrible pregnancies but I seemed to float through mine and I was carrying a 9 pound boy wink

neonglow Mon 11-Nov-19 14:38:25

If you’ve had a good experience then of course it’s normal to miss it!

I enjoy being pregnant. My first birth was horrible and gives me nightmares and the hospital was appalling. However my second birth I was really well looked after and felt sad when I had to leave hospital and the whole thing was over.

KellyMarieTunstall2 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:38:52

I felt this. When I had my last baby 2 years ago, I felt incredibly sad about my pregnancy coming to an end, I cried about it. I had a C-section and felt sad about missing labour but mostly really sad that it was over. But obviously elated too at having a healthy safely delivered baby. It did pass though!

Paythosebitchesnomind269 Tue 12-Nov-19 12:06:29

I desperately missed feeling my baby move and my bump.

m4rdybum Tue 12-Nov-19 12:59:17

Dont think I'm too fussed about going through the pregnancy again, but I'd love to experience labour and birth again (as in re-live the previous experience).

I think it's the sense of power?

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