Terrified to give birth

[StarlyBeee]

Hi all- looking for some advice of what I can do to gain some knowledge on childbirth. I am pregnant and we wanted a baby so bad that I had stopped focusing on my life long phobia of childbirth- even talking about it makes me giddy

We are over the moon but all I think about is how I have to face birth!!!

Any advice or good stories may help

Thanks in advance xx

[BlueWonder]

Ask your midwife about parent/baby classes

We had a choice of community based ones or at the hospital. I did the hospital ones and got so.much practical info on what to expect, birth choices, how things work on labour suite and the ward (if you have a hospital birth). Plus relaxation class, talks and tips from a physio, tea and snacks...and a very welcome lie down on a bean bag! Oh, and lots of people to chat to, some who have been through it before. There were some classes for women only and some mixedealers
Have to book them early though.

Advice on things like waterbirth gave me the information/confidence I needed to talk to my community midwife.

[Lizbiz89]

Try and think about what aspect of birth your most scared of. If it's pain, remember there are lots of great pain reliefs now. Epidural will completely take away any pain.
If it's about lack of control, maybe take a hypnobirthing course as they give you lots of great breathing and calming techniques.
I did lots of meditation with my second pregnancy and also did a positive birth company online course and my birth was a very positive experience.

Good luck with everything x

[Bubblysqueak]

Are you able to take a tour of the maternity unit? I found it really helpful knowing where to go and what would happen in different areas.

[StarlyBeee]

Thanks everyone I have looked into hypno birthing as I think it's the lack of control I'm scared of the most. The pain does worry me but I don't think it's the pain that is causing the anxiety.

It's the idea of not being in control and something going wrong I think. I will talk to my midwife and see what she advices then. I will take any class I can get haha thanks everyone really appreciate it xxx

[DontBuyANewMumCashmere]

I am a control freak and I was not at all scared of the pain (had a very good mum, sister and friends who didn't try and scare me or give me their horror stories) but was worried about going into hospital and them 'doing things to me' that I wouldn't be able to prevent.
I opted for a home birth and it was the best thing I ever did.
DD came out easily enough and I was comfortable, at home, in control, and had 1-to-1 care from the attending MW.

Three weeks ago DS came out even more easily (well, quicker) but I had to go in after because the placenta wouldn't come out.
I had two MWs with me all the time and I felt the care I received was excellent.
(Dodgy placenta was unlucky and due to procedures I had as a result of previous miscarriages.)

So that's what I would recommend, if you're up for that!

I also read lots of books about positive, natural births, something by Dick Grantley-Read, one by Ina-Mae Gaskin, and Juju Sundin (Birth Skills).
These gave me the confidence and some techniques to get through my (luckily straightforward) births.

Good luck!

[FrameyMcFrame]

I felt the same as you absolutely terrified and unable to think about it. I read a book about childbirth when I was a teenager and it made a bad impact.
I found that as the pregnancy progressed I I stopped worrying and accepted it all. I think hormones have a big role to play in the way you feel. As the pregnancy hormones built up I felt happier and just didn't really care anymore about these worries!

Going into giving birth on the day, yes I was apprehensive but I sort of felt like my body had already taken over and I just went along with it all. Mentally I felt quite relaxed but again the hormones in late pregnancy are powerful.

Hope that makes sense? I've done it twice now and I felt the same both times.