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Birthing partner

(5 Posts)
Abbiegriffiths Sun 18-Aug-19 20:04:01

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of a tricky situation and it's starting to get to me and stress me out so I'm reaching out for any advice and ideas .

I'm 17 years old and I am 35 weeks with a little boy . πŸ’™πŸ₯°

I currently live with my dad and stepmom due to being removed from my mums house by social services. So therefore contact with my real mum isn't really there . My stepmom has been lovely and really caring towards me and has shown she's very excited about the new arrival πŸ₯° but we have not always seen eye to eye . We don't always get on and she does just really piss me off a lot πŸ˜‚ and she's never really been the person I could turn to for anything as much as she's tried to be I don't feel like I'm comfortable doing so.

So many people have asked me to be my birthing partner and lm so stuck to the point where now I know what I want and I just want it to be me and my boyfriend to save arguments and I would feel more comfortable that way . But my problem is letting down my stepmom she already assumes she's my birthing partner and she's planning a baby shower and she's always talking about when I go into labour and stuff and already told all her friends she's my birthing partner. but I really don't want her there but I don't want to be harsh in letting her down . She gets really hurt quite easily and I don't wanna be horrible towards her bc she's been there for me so much . How should I let her down or should I just grow a pair and have her there ? I have also tried to speak to my dad about it and he really doesn't know how I should let her down either he's more scared than me to do it bc he's gonna get the back lash of it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ TIA sorry it's a long one xox

OP’s posts: |
Sandybval Sun 18-Aug-19 20:06:12

I was only allowed one birthing partner to come in with me, which was my partner. I guess someone could have waited in the waiting room and then come in during visiting hours but they could do that anyway and not spend hours waiting round. Choose who you want to be with you for support.

QueenOfPain Sun 18-Aug-19 20:11:40

Just be certain that your boyfriend is up to the job before you offend her and tell her not to bother. You might find that in the moment you really do need that supportive β€œmother” figure.

Does your hospital allow two birthing partners? I know some do, my local one does.

Bourbonbiccy Sun 18-Aug-19 20:20:47

I think if you have made the decision that it's you and your partner, you need to stick with it. It about what will make you feel most comfortable and sadly if that is not your step mum, she needs to accept that.

I would just say " thank you so much for all your supports, it really is lovely. Myself and my partner have been talking and I think it's best if it just the 2 of us in the room until the baby comes. We both feel it's just best as we will be more relaxed, i would really upset if I thought o would offend you and I hope you understand."

I had to have the discussion with my mum, she was my best friend and we shared everything, but I had to think of my hubby and (rightly or wrongly) he wouldn't have been able to show his true emotions and have a good old cry if my mum where there, so it was just the 2 of us while mum waited in the wings. As son as our son was born, she was there.

Bourbonbiccy Sun 18-Aug-19 20:24:03

If she really cares, she won't mind waiting in the wings to be called on if needed.

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