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Help! Want third baby but scared of birth complications following two not straight forward births.

(10 Posts)
Allhallowseve Mon 18-Mar-19 09:19:55

Just after some advice . Myself and dh would really like a third child however I’m scared of having lasting damage from birth number 3.
First birth 3rd degree tear , healed well things are obviously not the same but not huge amounts of after effects.
Second birth episiotomy, healed well. However had Post partum haemorrhage immediately after birth and took a while to get over .
Not been diagnosed but feel I may have some sort of prolapse as everything just feels different and lower , cervix lower etc . However not sure if this may just be normal after 2 children.
I regularly run and excercise and have no pelvic floor or incontinence issues . I’m scared a third birth may damage me so that I can’t excercise as I am now - I know this may sound selfish but it’s something I really enjoy .
Not sure what to do if the risk is worth it or not. Has anyone been in similar situation and gone on to have a third ?
Would a planned c section be a good idea due to prev third degree tear?

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Mon 18-Mar-19 14:15:00

I've just had my second (and not planning a 3rd) but I had a similar experience with my first and had a planned section this time.

I honestly can not tell you how different my experiences were! My new baby will be 7 weeks tomorrow and I feel great!

A section is by no means the easy option and is still surgery, however it was fantastic for me.

Good luck xx

Allhallowseve Tue 19-Mar-19 20:07:45

Thanks I hope I will be able to make the right decision. I would be consultant led anyway so would hope for some advice from health care professionals.

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Tue 19-Mar-19 20:50:25

@Allhallowseve - I'm sure they'll guide you on the best outcome.

All the best xx

Elmo311 Wed 20-Mar-19 16:02:34

I think you could request a c section, you may have to see a few consultants for this but ultimately i don't think they can decline? (Don't quote me on that!) My friend had a 4th degree tear and is requesting a c section this time round and will be getting one!

Good luck! X

Yakadee Wed 20-Mar-19 20:02:58

Mine was maternal request because of my first experience and there wasn't any debate - it was totally my choice (just for info) x

Allhallowseve Thu 21-Mar-19 13:50:41

Thanks both for your replies. I continued with natural for second baby as I didn’t feel the damage was that bad from third degree tear and I really didn’t want a c section as had a 1 and a half year old and was worried about recovery.
However nearly 5 years now after my first - things still aren’t the same and have probably worsened since second delivery to be honest. I’m really worried that another naturally delivery may result in another tear that could have lasting effects. I am definitive swaying towards the thought that a c section may be a better option due to previous damage and injury. The recovery next time round doesn’t worry me as much as my other children will be at least 3 and 5. And considering I’m still suffering now after first birth I think it may be worth it.

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Thu 21-Mar-19 14:41:24

@Allhallowseve - my recovery with this section is seriously 100 x better than my first VB. I needed physio and all sorts for a long time afterwards.
This time around, I'm already 7 weeks pp and I feel myself. I stopped needing painkillers after a week and could get down and play with my older son (albeit gingerly) in no time.


Allhallowseve Thu 21-Mar-19 14:45:03

@yakadee wow that’s amazing so glad you’re doing so well.
After my first with the third degree tear I didn’t get an appointment for physio. And when I went to see the consultant at around 7 weeks post giving birth he dismissed it and said too late now anyway .

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Thu 21-Mar-19 14:49:00

@Allhallowseve - that's awful! I didn't actually go for mine until around 10 months after. I was hoping things would settle down (and worried I'd need surgery so put it off) and it didn't get any better until after the physio.

It is surgery and certainly not 'easy', but without a doubt the best decision I've ever made! I felt so much better in myself too as you know you're going to be sore, but it's just different to the pain I had first time around (I could sit down comfortably for one!). X

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