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Childbirth

Hypnobirthing for the cynical?

20 replies

Moncwf · 13/03/2019 17:13

I didn't have a good labour with DS. Lots of little things adding up to an overall not great, but fairly standard first birth with forceps and episiotomy. I can't fault the midwives and Obstetrician who were with me in the latter half of labour and delivered DS. I do fault the MLU who refused my epidural request for 5 hours (have made a complaint and had birth reflections appt which confirmed there was no reason for them to do this, they have been spoken to)

Currently early second trimester with DC2. I am considering elective section but am concerned about recovery. Am also considering hypnobirthing in the event I do opt for vaginal delivery/DC decides to come before section/general anxiety control regardless of how I give birth. To be clear, I wouldn't be looking to avoid any other pain relief, I just know there's inevitably a time delay between things kicking off and getting anything effective.

My question is, will it work for me if I'm cynical about it? I would only be looking to do online course, attending in person isn't practical and I'm not willing to cough up 100s. I think what draws me to it is I know I have a tendency to panic, but what puts me off is the talk of labour not really hurting, it just being fear. Because I have been in labour and that was real physical pain. I concede that fear and panic wouldn't have helped, but it doesn't mean that pain wasn't real (anyone who's had back labour will, I'm sure, agree) also heard it helps people understand the physical process, but again I'm pretty confident I knew what was happening, it didn't stop it hurting! There's also no way on earth DH is going to start saying affirmations with me (and I'm not keen either)

So, is it worth it? Or do you need to believe?

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User6949671 · 13/03/2019 17:19

Worked for me, I was with the wise hippo program
I only went because it was the 'in' thing and I wanted to stop every one telling me how amazing it was.
Turned out it's not half bad!! It answered loads of questions I didn't even know I had, it helped me get over the fears of childbirth and put alot of 'responsability' on my partner in that they spoke to the midwife and made all the decision as per my birth plan which they also helped with and told me options I didn't even know I had.
When the time came I felt so calm about the whole process as I felt I knew pretty much what was going to happen physiology wise.
Was worth every penny In The end.

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HabbyHadno · 13/03/2019 17:22

Check out The Positive Birth Company. I've been doing their online course and it's only about £30 and brilliant. There's not much you need to 'believe' it's pretty grounded in science and not woo at all.

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HabbyHadno · 13/03/2019 17:25

Look for the digital pack from the drop down index. I'll try and link it thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/digital-pack

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Refilona · 13/03/2019 17:28

Thank you for posting this, I also want to do this but am a bit sceptical. I’ll look into the ones suggested.

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milleniumhandandprawn · 13/03/2019 17:37

I could have almost written yours - except I didn't have forceps but did have a massive haemorrhage and horrrible recovery from an extended episiotomy with DC 1.

I really wanted to take more control of my birth with DC2 so went down the hypnobirthibg route. I knew a section wasn't for me, and wanted to try and allow my body the best of chances to have a "good birth"

I didn't want to spend £s on a course thT might not work so I got a set of books - Maggy Howel - which come with a cd, I read the books and then did the cd most days from about 25 weeks on my morning commute.

Honestly. HONESTLY. It's like freaking magic. My birth with Ds was awful in so many ways - not exaggerating I very nearly died.
With DD it was the most amazing empowering spectacular event I think I'll ever live through. I would have more babies just to have another birth like that.
I was so calm that when I arrived at the hospital they didn't think I was in labour. In fact I was 10cm dilted and she was starting to crown Grin
That's not to say it's not still uncomfortable. It is, but with the techniques, you go into this zone and feel like you can cope with anything at all.

I'm getting quite emotional recounting it Taj and DD is nearly 3 - it's amazing.

DH and I were both sceptics, he's a total convert now too and having witnessed both births, he was convinced I had learnt witchcraft for the second. He said it was "a privilege to witness"

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annlee3817 · 13/03/2019 19:56

Firstly it doesn't take the pain away, but the breathing techniques were great for keeping me calm. It's definitely worth doing even if you opt for a c section as the relaxation techniques would help if you were feeling anxious at any point. I used the Maggie Howell natal hypnotherapy book and CD. I took the book content with a pinch of salt with regards to other people's accounts, all in all I stayed calm throughout labour and it was a positive experience for me.

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HoustonBess · 13/03/2019 21:13

Also expecting DC2 and did positive birth digi pack thing. Also somewhat cynical.

Who knows what it will do for birth but it's been beneficial just in preparing and feeling more relaxed and as if it's possible it won't be horrible. I think it's worth it just for that.

I don't think it plays up the 'it's not pain' element that much, maybe helps you to picture it as being a pain you shouldn't panic about the same way as you would a broken leg or something.

You could just watch positive birth/hypnobirthing videos and see if that alone helps you feel better about the whole thing.

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FinallyGotAnIPhone · 13/03/2019 21:19

Hiya, I had a “normal” first birth but I found it very traumatic so was dreading the second. Someone suggested doing pregnancy yoga, so I did that, I also bought a hypnobirthing CD and used to listen to that most days (and fall asleep) in the last few weeks. I also paid the yoga teacher £50 or so and she came round to my house to do me a birth prep session. That was brill, basically she tought me some techniques to get through contractions and some breathing techniques, positions etc. Of course you have a frame of reference as to what it’s like second time round, so you can go in better prepared anyway. In the end my second labour was pretty quick and I managed to get to 7 cm at home before I got to the hosp and then the baby was born soon after. So whether it’s hypnobirthing or something else, some sort of prep for the labour will probably help. Good luck OP.

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Moncwf · 13/03/2019 21:28

Thanks all. Just had a look at some Maggie Howell stuff. I think I might give the cd a try as have a longish commute. Trouble is, I can feel my irritation spiking at the suggestion that being fearful and anxious causes the complications of birth, It just feels like people are blaming me for having a bad birth, like if I was a bit more relaxed it would have been fine. I'm pretty sure my son trying to come out face first was the main problem (also sepsis and group b strep adding to the mix) I understand the theory that being anxious can slow things down etc and exhaust you, but I'm glad to be giving birth in an era with proper medical science, I don't view it as a bad thing.
Not sure hypnosis would have stopped any of that but hopefully it would at least make me feel more chilled about the whole thing.

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user1471426142 · 13/03/2019 22:50

I was cynical and had a horribly shite first birth but found some of the techniques helped me cope. There might be some bits that you roll your eyes at but even if you just do some breathing techniques and relaxation it can help. I can recommend Judith flood’s book and cd. She was a midwife and seems slightly more practical than some of the total hippy stuff you can get.

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PeanutButterIsOneWord · 15/03/2019 09:58

If you haven't already got stuff it might be worth having a look at Mindful Birthing. I am struggling to get through the book tbh, but there's a couple of chapters on managing pain and things to practice to deal with pain in a calmer way.

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Zogsyoungersister · 16/03/2019 19:46

Totally get you OP. I tried hypnobirthing the first time round, believed in it and did my absolute best with it but unfortunately it only got me so far as my labour was extremely long and I too ended up with forceps and episiotomy. I am also very afraid of next birth. I am considering taking to a therapist to work through some of my thoughts about it to be honest... thinking rationally the hypnobirthing was actually really helpful and if my labour is quicker this time it might be good enough/more helpful to the end. I completely identify with your thoughts about feeling annoyed that it seems like the hypnobirthing mantras are suggesting it's your fault your first birth was difficult. BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL. I am trying to hold both things in my mind at the same time - that what will happen will happen, and medical intervention may be necessary and thank god we have that available, but also that I can take some control of how I cope in the early stages and if I can stay calm for as long as possible then that can only be a good thing. Good luck OP xxx

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MeMeMeYou · 16/03/2019 19:51

I had a bad first birth and had listened to my hypnobirth cd beforehand assuming it’d pop up from my subconscious. Thus is not how it works! Second time I listened to it on a loop during birth and it made me focus on my breathing amazingly. There was a short while I stopped listening to it when my waters broke as I was distracted and waiting for a nurse and I suddenly felt in so much more pain, slightly out of control and nearly throwing up. Then realised why and put the hypnobrith breathing back on and was fine again. It was a textbook birth, on hands and knees almost thru-out, no stitches and avoided all issues of first time. Would recommend. I’m cynical with a low pain threshold and a terrible worrier and it was good. Also antenatal yoga classes helped with breathing and mindset.

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cardboard33 · 17/03/2019 04:39

I was very cynical and decided that I didn't need to be "hypnotised" into having a good birth as what will happen will happen and I'm very practical anyway. Then stated NCT and pretty much the whole class had done an in person class & we realised how much more knowledgeable about the whole birthing process they were, so I started looking into the online packs with more focus as people from my pregnancy yoga had also raved about hypnobirthing. Bought the Positive Birth Company pack and SO glad we did, although really don't think that hypnobirthing is the right name for it as it gives it a bad name. It's more about equipping you with the knowledge of the birthing process to make informed decisions and understanding the context of why your body is doing what it is doing, which we found reakjy useful.

I've just had my first baby and it was a quick and relatively pain free labour at 9 hours in total with 3 at the hospital. Used a tens machine at home then gas/air at the hospital. Don't know if it "worked" per se but I definitely had a good labour so would do it again. Btw, there were some bits in yoga and hypnobirthing that we thought were bull such as the affirmations etc so v glad we didn't do the hypnobirthing in person as we were just laughing all of the way through them but we took away what we needed and had a positive experience.

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Woolly17 · 23/03/2019 21:55

I did a hypnobirthing course and hauled my husband along to a partner's session. In the end it just gave me some calm and the confidence to trust myself and my body. However my labour was a bit too fast to put much of it to use on the day. So I won't be doing a course this time.
I will however do pregnancy yoga again - everyone in my class had fast uncomplicated deliveries. I feel like that wasn't just coincidence.

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ontheallyallyo · 24/03/2019 20:04

Grin I feel like it might have been a coincidence actualy... I did pregnancy yoga and have practiced yoga for years and my birth was incredibly long and complicated, as was my pre-natal yoga teacher's! It can certainly help people cope - like hypnobirthing - and might speed things up slightly if you are calm but neither purports to change biological issues. I was extremely calm doing my hypnobirthing and yoga for the first 48 hours... it certainly didn't speed up my labour though or prevent an instrumental birth. I just don't think the role of luck should be overlooked here because that's one reason people panic. Their birth doesn't go to "plan" despite them doing everything "right" and then they panic rather than realising that birth is unpredictable and that's what the yoga/hypnobirthing is there to help you cope with Brew

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NotAnotherJaffaCake · 24/03/2019 20:10

Did it twice, was a true believer, it was a complete waste of money and did nothing. I am convinced a lot of people think it’s magic because they had a crap time first time round, do hypnobirthing and attribute a much better second labour to hypnobirthing when second labours are faster and easier anyway, for most women.

First time I had an EMCS, hypnobirthing made me feel like a failure, second was a VBAC that still hurt like a bastard and none of the breathing or visualisations did the slightest to manage the pain.

Both times an epidural was a complete and utter lifesaver, and turned labour into an enjoyable experience. If I were to do it again, my only demand would be another mobile epidural as early as possible.

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PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 24/03/2019 20:20

I went to a course organised by the local MLU, despite being very cynical.

I couldn’t let go of my skepticism and just couldn’t get on with the flowery language that was used in the scripts. It was dc2 for me, so I knew they were talking nonsense when they claimed labour didn’t hurt, it just felt like a lot of pressure Hmm.

The final straw for me was when they asked the partners to read out the scripts to the mothers. DH was reading it out to me in his Dublin accent and I got a fit of hysterical laughter as all I could think of was how annoying it was and how much he sounded like Littlefinger from Game of Thrones. I knew then it was a bit pointless carrying on as it was never going to click for me.

I ended up in the labour ward and being given remifentanil for pain relief, which was much more effective than imaging my vag as a blossoming flower was ever going to be!

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RoryLeighGilmore · 24/03/2019 20:21

Another vote for the positive birth company, and also The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill.
I suppose you need to 'believe' but it's not hypnosis like people seem to think, it's largely the science of labour/birth and breathing exercises so a bit weird not to 'believe' in it really.
Hypnobirthing can be used just as much for a c section as for a vaginal birth too.

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Moncwf · 25/03/2019 12:21

Well I started reading Maggie Howell and hated it! She has a thought experiment where you imagine you grow up on a remote island and therefore have limited medical intervention but are part of a group of women who help with every birth, which she concludes means you wouldn't be scared of it. My conclusion would be that you'd have seen a pretty high level of maternal and infant death and who the fuck knows how you would feel about that?
I have got the positive birth co course as it was reduced to £12 last week. That seems more reasonable but there seems again to be a pretty heavy bias against medical intervention. I don't buy the implicit reasoning that it's all unnecessary and terrible. I'm pretty sure either me or my son would be dead without antibiotics, and getting them very swiftly on an IV because we were in hospital. I also suspect the science is somewhat cherry picked.

I haven't found the explanation about how birth works to be revelatory. I already knew before my first so don't think that will help.

And I did pregnancy yoga last time. Nice for relaxation and stretching but didn't help with birth. The majority of my class got transferred from birth centre to hospital (I chose to start in hospital anyway) there were a fair few emcs, so think that was coincidence pp, or you had a very good course! Also my yoga teacher said the thing she was most scared of before giving birth was being induced, and mine was death so again, not sure I was quite the right audience.

I think I'm going to focus on the breathing exercises and the fact that I'm a second timer and therefore much more likely to have a straightforward experience whatever I do. I will also be seeking a referral for my anxiety about the whole thing. Thanks for all your replies. I think how birth goes is down to luck mostly, but it's helpful to know how others dealt with it.

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