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How did you feel after birth debrief?

(14 Posts)
Sprintfinish Wed 13-Feb-19 09:08:02

I have my birth debrief in a couple of weeks, and I'm not sure what to expect from it. It was a tough birth (induction, waters broke after 1 pessary, baby in wrong position as labour progressed, drip with no pain relief, baby heartrate concerns, emsc, severe blood loss for me) but I've always felt fine about it, even at the time. However I'm concerned that discussing it with the consultant could change that. Did anyone feel worse after their debrief?

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Wed 13-Feb-19 11:13:24

I had a similar experience to you by the sounds of it. I didn't take the debrief though and actually, in hindsight I think I should have. I thought I was fine with everything however when expecting my second I chose a planned section. They talk through all your notes from first labour and I was a total wreck!

Of course it's up to you but I don't think I'd have regretted it now looking back, think it would have given me some closure xx

Muddytoes1 Wed 13-Feb-19 17:15:33

I’ve not had one but it sounds like a positive I would have though. Knowledge is power and all that. How do you go about getting one? I thought I was fine after my first but now coming up to my second am feeling really stressed about it and wonder if a debrief would help.

Sprintfinish Wed 13-Feb-19 19:37:10

I was offered one due to the way the birth went. Looking back the theatre was quite a stressed environment so I don't think I have a grasp of how serious things were. At the time I was chilled...the epidural after hours on g&a only has a lot to do with that! I wasn't even aware of the blood loss, I just wondered why DP and baby were suddenly moved to corner.

I've read a few comments about mums becoming troubled by their first birth only when pregnant again. Main reason I want debrief is to find out if any of the problems with the birth are likely to be repeated. I've already been told any future pregnancies would result in a cs.

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Wed 13-Feb-19 19:44:52

@Sprintfinish - I had a big blood loss with both of my labours, my second was a planned section and it still happened. Seems it's just me somehow? I was convinced of have a bad natural labour again so so glad I had the section x

Sprintfinish Thu 14-Feb-19 19:07:40

@yakadee how much blood did you lose? I feel that had a big impact on my recovery as I was really tired. I lost over 5 pints.

OP’s posts: |
Icedlatte Thu 14-Feb-19 19:12:53

I had a birth debrief (pre-eclampsia led to induction)

It was much like any other medical appointment. The midwife explained what the notes meant, it was very factual and unemotional. I asked questions about the probability of it happening again and got some answers that would be reassuring for next time (rather than Dr Google!) And also asked things about why they made certain decisions at certain times.

I also didn't feel traumatised, before or after the debrief. I dont think you have to! It's just an opportunity to discuss a major medical event you went through, understand the full circumstances, and get any medical advice that may prove useful for your recovery or future pregnancies.

Yakadee Thu 14-Feb-19 19:15:37

@Sprintfinish - holy crap, poor you! Mine was only like 2! Thankfully didn't need a transfusion either time but second time needed iron tablets. X

buddy79 Wed 20-Feb-19 08:17:46

I didn’t have a debrief but as pregnant again after emcs with my first have just had ‘birth options’ appt which was a bit similar. I actually found it really positive, got a bit emotional (although I do feel fine about the birth!) and it confirmed a few things I’d suspected about my first labour but never actually knew, for example it was back to back, I got further along than I thought I had, and the actual reason for the emcs which was more down to baby’s position rather than a general ‘failure to progress’, which was all I really knew before. It made me feel more confident about myself and the midwife was lovely and v supportive. Hope it’s positive for you.

OutComeTheWolves Wed 20-Feb-19 08:23:52

I didn't find mine very positive at all. I felt it was just a chance for the hospital to make sure I didn't/couldn't blame them.

Annoyingly I didn't blame the hospital I thought the staff were brilliant, I just wanted to get a better idea of why things happened. But the whole debrief was essentially a senior midwife explaining why certain things couldn't have been predicted.

Redorangeyellowgreen Wed 20-Feb-19 08:29:47

I also had a traumatic birth OP although didn't go quite the same way as yours. I didn't bother with the debrief as I had processed it in my own way and I didn't think going over everything again would help. I was also very angry and distrustful of the hospital and I wasn't sure I could sit there and remain polite!

I don't regret turning it down, although I'm not yet pregnant again (TTC at the moment). So I suppose it's possible that the feelings will resurface but I suspect that would happen anyway.

Callmecordelia Wed 20-Feb-19 08:41:12

I had a birth debrief. I had a dreadful birth with my second child (week long failed induction that ended with a crash section).

For me it was a very positive experience. We talked through my notes, I had lots of questions about my treatment and why it went so wrong. It wasn't about blame - I actually got an apology after the appointment from a consultant who had been rough during an internal exam and been irritable with me as I finally put my foot down and said I was exhausted and I wasn't going to have the drip until I got an epidural. I'd been in hospital for days by this point.

I felt it helped me move on. My son was nearly two when I had the appointment. I think the midwife who did mine would tailor it to what was needed - a factual look at the notes, or an emotional outpouring. I was somewhere between the two! It was very much about what I needed.

Moncwf Mon 25-Feb-19 18:02:19

I had mine, now pregnant with #2. Was pleasantly surprised by how well it went Issues different to OP &PP, difficult delivery for various reasons, but what upset me was being told I couldn't have an epidural when first in labour, or indeed anything other than paracetamol (I did eventually get one when my labour stalled at 9cm about 6 hours later) I understood what was happening the rest of the time because once I transferred off the MLU, every midwife, doctor and student I saw were great. The debriefing midwife said she expected me to want to discuss the labour stalling, difficult delivery etc , but I told her I was upset about my requests for pain relief on admission being dismissed. She was outraged on my behalf and asked permission to anonymously share my story with the department to show midwives how damaging it is to refuse to listen to a woman's request. I was expecting her to be a bit dismissive and say I didn't really need pain relief etc. So it was really nice to feel vindicated.

user1471426142 Fri 01-Mar-19 14:07:39

I had one when I got pregnant again. I think time was helpful as I was able to go through everything quite factually without it being emotional. There was quite a bit in the notes that I hadn’t been aware of and I didn’t realise how up and down my little one’s heart rate had been which was why the room filled up for an instrumental. It helped me to realise that there had been a tangible reason for intervention and why they had needed to move quickly at the point they did. In my area they suggest waiting a minimum of 6 weeks before one but I think longer is probably helpful.

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