Birth Experience

[MrsMarmite1234]

I gave birth to DD1 a few months ago and I can’t quite shake off my feelings about some of the care I received. I’d appreciate any thoughts or if anyone experienced anything similar. I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive.

I was induced at 40+4 due to high BP, pessart inserted at 9.30am. By about 5pm I started to feel contractions but everything was fine and the midwife had checked in on me throughout the day. The night shift midwife came round at 8pm, checked my BP etc. And put me on the monitor. You could see the contractions were ramping up and she offered some codeine which I took as it was beginning to get uncomfortable but not unmanageable. She told me that until I was contracting every minute, for a minute, for 2 hours, they wouldn’t do anything. At this point they were every 6/7 minutes.

My husband has to go home around 9.20pm and the pain ramped up significantly after this. I was in a 4 bay ward but with no one else in the room. At around midnight I went to the midwife station and asked for more codeine as the pain was getting much worse and I didn’t have a buzzer at my bed. The midwife brought the codeine but didn’t ask about contractions/progress or offer to examine or monitor me. About 1am I went back to the midwife station to ask for sick bowls as I was getting nauseous with the pain. Again, they gave me the bowls and nothing else mentioned.

A lady was brought to the room about 1.30am with her newborn and we had a chat in between contractions. She suggested I have a bath to help as she’s found it eased the pain. I let the midwife know I was going for a bath about 2am. I was in there for 2.5hrs. The pain became increasingly unmanageable and I decided to get out the bath, try to get dressed and ask the midwife for pain relief. When I got out the bath my waters broke so I pulled the emergency cord.

A student midwife came in with a care assistant and was only interested in me putting knickers on and getting back to my bed. I was unable to stand at this point as there was no break in between contractions. I eventually managed to get back to my bed and was put on the monitor. She said that someone would come along to examine me but was in no hurry. Looking back, I think I was in the transition phase st this point as I completely lost my kind for about 5 minutes after being pretty calm until then.

No one appeared to examine me and the lady in the room had to run to get a midwife as I needed to push. I was then examined and was fully dilated.

In hindsight I should have been more assertive much earlier in asking to be examined etc. I guess I didn’t because I was told I had to be contracting 1min/1min/2hours which it hadn’t been at that point. I made to feel as if I was being a ridiculous FTM and was overreacting until they realised I was 10cm.

Should I have been examined or checked in at some point between 8pm and 4.30am or at least checked on? The midwife didn’t check on me, I only saw her when I went to the station. My light was on too, I obviously wasn’t asleep!

Sorry for the long post. I guess I just don’t know if I was a bit neglected or if I need to get over it!

[HoustonBess]

No, that sounds like you were a bit neglected. I would have hated to be left alone like that and they failed to take your needs seriously.

You don't really explain how you felt through all this - did you feel panicked or stressed? Did it feel traumatic or just confusing? I think you should have had better care, but it's up to you whether you think it's something you want to delve into with the hospital.

[MrsMarmite1234]

I felt a bit belittled. Like a silly FTM who was only in early labour but thought it was full blown. At the time, I thought that’s just how it went and didn’t overly question is (I’m a bit of a rule follower). I didn’t panic until my waters went. I said I wanted to ring my husband to come in and was told no until I’d been examined. She was so shocked I was fully dilated that she checked twice!

[SnuggyBuggy]

It does sound like you were a bit neglected

[MrsMarmite1234]

Thank you for your replies. I’m not traumatised by the experience but glad to know that’s not what it should be like if I’m to have another. I think a lot of FTMs are minimalised when in labour unfortunately!

[Dreamingofkfc]

As a midwife I know that unnecessary examinations can do more harm than good, however it does seem like you were ignored, especially after repeatedly asking for pain relief. Someone should have monitored your contractions and made an assessment based on the whole picture. You were induced because of high BP which can make labour progress quickly so that should have been taken into consideration.

[Lightgreenblue]

It sounds like you were neglected and you have a right to feel angry about it.

If it helps, I felt similar after my first was born and for a long time wasn't sure I could face going through that again. Over time I have begun to feel more positive and that I learned from the experience. I feel confident that next time (if there is a next time - currently TTC!) I will be much more prepared and ready to be assertive if needed.