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2nd night with new born ...

(28 Posts)
cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 04:01:51

My baby was born on 02/11 and all was/is well. The only problem is she just will not go down?

She is also BF'ing, but she is really tongue tied. They will sort the tongue tie out this week but I feel like she is comfort feeding.

Any ideas whether comfort feeding is a thing or when I might be able to put her to sleep in her crib??

OP’s posts: |
PocketFullofMumbles Sun 04-Nov-18 04:12:03

I remember this with my first born and was baffled as to why she didn’t want to go to sleep in her lovely cosy crib. It seemed that after 9 months of snuggling into me, she wasn’t quite ready to sleep on her own!

If you can, prop yourself up with pillows and let her sleep on you, skin to skin, if possible. Let her feed as much as she needs - comfort feeding is fine for such a diddy one and she’s probably telling your body how much milk it needs to produce to satisfy her. It took me 3 nights to start to get DD used to sleeping in her crib. Good luck!

cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 04:16:50

@PocketFullofMumbles thanks pocket.

We're currently sat in our nursing chair listening to white noise! Everything you said is what I was thinking it's just I'm really tired & trying not to fall asleep but also not to disturb her.

She was so toasty in there it's just taking her a little while to adjust to the world!

Thanks for making me feel normal!

OP’s posts: |
INeedNewShoes Sun 04-Nov-18 04:17:46

Nights 2 and 3 were hard work here. DD just needed to feed the entire time. Talking to friends, their newborns also did this. I think it's par for the course in the first few days as your milk supply establishes. You release a hormone at night which is important for milk supply so the baby is programmed to feed a lot overnight.. It's cruel but it's only for a few days.

PocketFullofMumbles Sun 04-Nov-18 04:23:03

It’s absolutely normal, but I remember thinking it couldn’t be 😄

Find a safe way of co sleeping so you can sleep too - bed is better than chair. Mine slept on me, with a light blanket over her and pillows wedged in either side of me so I didn’t accidentally roll over. Be guided by her and not by any ‘rules’ - she knows what she needs better than you and you’re absolutely not creating any bad habits flowers

thaegumathteth Sun 04-Nov-18 04:24:35

It’s normal and bloody exhausting.

I still remember ds doing this - it was Christmas Day and he didn’t go down AT ALL. I survived but only bloody just!

Would you be safer cosleeping? Have you got someone who can get you drinks and snacks?

an1997 Sun 04-Nov-18 04:24:56

Cluster feeding is totally normal! My DS still does it at 6 weeks, it's all boosting your supply which is great for your milk and very clever of them. Safe co-sleeping has saved my life as my little one still doesn't like to sleep alone. You're doing fab!thanks

Mylittlepony374 Sun 04-Nov-18 04:32:59

Congratulations on your new baby!
If you google the fourth trimester you will get a lot of information about newborns & why they often prefer to sleep on mum rather than apart from us in the crib. .
For daytime naps sometimes it's easier to go with a sling (I use Kari-me brand soft wrap) so you can do things/get out for fresh air while they're napping.
For night sleeps I often put something near/ in the crib that smells like still need to be mindful of safe sleep guidelines but for example I sometimes use a T-shirt I'd been wearing & put it under the crib sheet.
With the breastfeeding - do you feel like she's comfort feeding because she seems to be constantly on you/ looking for breast? Because this is so very normal in the early days. She will be at the breast a lot and is doing this for comfort but also to build and solidify your milk supply. For both of my babies they fed a lot for around 6-8 weeks before settling themselves into more of a feeding routine with larger spaces of time between feeds. It often felt like I did nothing but feed & it was hard work at times but this does pass. My best advice there is enjoy it. Set yourself up with Netflix, snacks, plenty of water and let her guide what she needs.
I hope that's of some help.

Mylittlepony374 Sun 04-Nov-18 04:35:08

Just to agree with pp about safe co sleeping. Saved my sanity with my first.

cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 04:48:13

Thank you all!

She's absolutely totally normal then! 👍🏻

She is amazing and I love her so much but I'm definitely going to google safe co sleeping now. I had 90 minutes sleep between 11.30pm and 1am and because she was getting so upset looking for my breasts, I told my husband to get some sleep so that he can take over. She was rooting around on his chest and got very upset when she tried his nipples. I don't see any point in us both being sleep deprived! I'll sleep hopefully once he gets up but it's hard!

OP’s posts: |
NewBabyNoName Sun 04-Nov-18 05:03:50

I'm just a few days ahead of you and second that it's totally normal. I've been up with her in the nights and DH has had her in the morning while I've had a good couple of hours sleep and that's been working well for us.

She's getting better at staying asleep in her Moses basket when I put her down, have you got something in their to keep it warm so you're not trying to transfer her from your warm arms to a cold bed? I bought a stay warm for 8-10 hr 'hot water bottle' from Amazon.


cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 05:08:06

@NewBabyNoName thanks for the suggestion! I'm going to order it!!

OP’s posts: |
NewBabyNoName Sun 04-Nov-18 05:16:30

@cookiesaurus it's what Amazon Prime is all about. We are also using a gro-snug to stop the startling. Although I think truth be told it just takes time for the lm to get used to the difference between outside and in. It's amazing how little sleep you can actually function on!

CupoBlood Sun 04-Nov-18 05:22:40


Tongue ties can make bf really hard for them, they just can't do it efficiently so may need bf more often. My ds had an upper lip tie. Really explained a lot when I found out (months and months after he was born )

cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 05:23:37

@NewBabyNoName we have a grosnug but it looks quite tight - she was 8lb 7oz and it's all a bit too snug.

Sorry, which got water bottle did you go for as I'm struggling to see the stay hot ones?? Thanks so much!!

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Mummyoflittledragon Sun 04-Nov-18 05:29:02

We had and independent midwife. As a newbie I slept on my side with dd inside my maternity nightdress, covers to my waist and dressing gown on me but not baby to keep me warm. I kept dd warm.

Dd also slept a few times on dhs chest (face down) at the midwifes recommendation. The beating of a larger (man’s) heart helps with sleep apparently as it is reminiscent of the sound inside the womb.

All totally normal. I hope your nipples aren’t too sore. I’ve read tongue tied babies struggle with latch. You could consider expressing to help with this. I breastfed for a long time, an electric double pump was a great investment.

Magical times. flowers

NewBabyNoName Sun 04-Nov-18 05:29:14

Our DD was 8lb9 and it is snug around her arms but I think that's the intention, she does seem quite cosy in it so will probably use for a few weeks until she's ready for a proper sleeping bag.

Amazing Health Allnighter Microwave Heat Pad - Cream Sheep 8 hours warming pad here is the link for the hot water bottle thing we bought.

cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 05:41:26

@Mummyoflittledragon thank you! I'm using Lansinoh to try and help. I'm hoping she'll give me a chance to try expressing today!

We have our 72 hour hospital check today too.

@NewBabyNoName thanks - I've ordered it now ☺️

OP’s posts: |
Mummyoflittledragon Sun 04-Nov-18 06:00:13

Good luck with that!

Dd had a tiny grobag and it lasted a couple of months before she went into 0-6 month one. The way I accidentally cracked the sleeping alone was I put her down in her Moses beside asleep and had a shower. Dd awoke a minute later but I was all sudded up. I had the fastest shower ever but by the time I got back she was asleep. From then on she accepted being put down to sleep. I know not all children are the same but as a baby I found once something worked it was fine but not to disrupt that thing as Dd didn’t like change and I would struggle to get back to that routine.

MaverickSnoopy Sun 04-Nov-18 06:09:59

My experience of this is slightly different. I've had 3 babies go through exactly what you describe. All 3 with tongue tie, all 3 upset as soon as being put down, all 3 crying and rooting a lot. All 3 lost more than the ideal amount of their birth weight when they were weighed on day 5. In fact number 3 was admitted to hospital just over a week ago after losing 14% of her birthweight by day 4. I had been doing skin to skin and doing responsive feeding and was honestly feeding A LOT, as well as expressing on days 3 and 4 to build my supply (after past experiences).

Whilst what everyone says is absolutely true and days 2, 3 and 4 especially can be tough with feeding as they build your supply, with tongue tie babies sometimes struggle to transfer the milk, meaning that they don't get enough and don't build your supply in the same way. So whilst it can be normal, sometimes it's not. So just be mindful and if she's screaming and won't be put down at all then she's probably not getting the food she needs.

It's so tough being a mumma but you're doing great.

NewBabyNoName Sun 04-Nov-18 07:01:05

@MaverickSnoopy obviously take the hot plate out when the baby goes in, I'm sure you would but we're both sleep deprived and I wouldn't want your DD to get hurt.

NewBabyNoName Sun 04-Nov-18 07:02:25

Sorry that was directed to @cookiesaurus dint know why MaverickSnoopy was coming up as the OP on my phone 

cookiesaurus Sun 04-Nov-18 08:14:51

@MaverickSnoopy we have our 72 hour appt today so I really want to see how her weight is and we're getting the tongue tie referral hopefully for ASAP. Thanks for your insight - this is what I've been worried about as she definitely changed to an 'easier' latch that is more of a kissing motion than a proper full on sucking. Fingers crossed - I'm going to try and express now if she remains sleeping.

@NewBabyNoName I've ordered the hot pad - definitely won't leave it in!! Easily done I imagine though!

She actually went in her crib for about 40 minutes this morning - perhaps it's the beginning of a turning point 🤞🤞

OP’s posts: |
Bobbybobbins Sun 04-Nov-18 08:35:32

Well done for managing to put your little one down! I ended up cosleeping for 6 months with both of mine as they refused to sleep on their own.

KoshaMangsho Sun 04-Nov-18 08:41:48

I will say that most of my friends with babies who has tongue tie found it quicker to have it privately snipped. The NHS waiting was just too long and too long for the baby not to be feeding well. We co- slept with a Sleepyhead but I am given to believe that some people frown on this. And yes, feed feed feed. The first 2 weeks are the hardest, the next 4 are tough, and then it will start to look up. When you feel a semblance of normality read the arm sleeping bit in No Cry Sleep Solution. It helped a lot. Doesn’t promise miracle cures but it helped.

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