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Crying - what is normal?(7 Posts)
I had my baby just over 2 weeks ago (born 13/09). As I have posted here recovery has not been straightforward, my stitches got infected and as a result of the antibiotics both me and my son have had thrush. Docs have been pretty useless and I have been on about 7 different meds.
Anyway the midwife came at 13 days post partum and i asked what was normal in terms of my emotions. I was still pretty delicate and easily cried, though not like the sobbing i was doing day 4-5. She told me that she would expect me to be a bit more even but given my medical stuff it was understandable.
I have had a little cry yesterday and today as my DH is going back to work tomorrow and I am very nervous. He has done absolutely everything round the house in the last 2 weeks and is also amazing at settling DS.
Im a bit worried that my emotions arent normal. How do i know the difference between nornal hormone stuff and the start of PND?
I was like this for about 2 weeks after birth and then it eased off. I had a couple of different feelings I could differentiate - first, the extra-sensitivity to normal emotions, such as feeling nervous at DH going back to work, totally reasonable to feel anxious and I don't think it's a huge stretch to cry about it. I think this is exacerbated by broken sleep as well as being hormonally driven.
Then other than that I just had this background feeling of sadness, a heaviness. The only thing I can compare it to was homesickness. It seemed to hit me in waves and was worse around mealtimes or when somebody was trying to show me the nice things. I could appreciate the nice things, but it was like everything was dulled and I wasn't allowed to feel it or enjoy it.
Also in addition I was having intrusive thoughts and anxiety, we live on the fourth floor and I became terrified of windows in case I was overcome by the urge to throw the baby out, or misstepped in the night and mistook the window for the changing table, or something equally unlikely. Of course, I never had such an urge but I kept all of the windows closed even when I was stifling hot and kept clutching him to me in the middle of the night because I was so frightened by the thought. And the normal keeping checking he was breathing. These actually lasted a bit longer than the other two feelings, but they have passed now as well and my baby is six weeks old now.
I didn't have such intense baby blues with my first so it took me a bit by surprise but I wondered if the lingering nature of it was to do with the birth and breastfeeding took a bit longer to establish as well, so I'd wondered if that was making my feelings go haywire.
It does sound like things are settling down for you, albeit a bit slower than you might expect but if it's getting better slowly then I would take that as a good sign. If it started to get worse again or it's still there in another 2-3 weeks then it might be worth asking somebody about it. I believe there is a check for PND at the six week check as well.
Feeling emotional because you had a traumatic time, are in pain and in the first few weeks of being a new parent sounds normal to me. I had a horrendous birth and the anxiety/depression scoring system does work well in times of trauma - yes of course I’m not enjoying things as much as I used to I’m in crippling pain!
Nobody tells you how awful having a newborn really is. I hope things naturally improve over the next few weeks but don’t feel pressure to be deliriously happy with the new baby. It’s quite normal to feel awful for the first few months.
Try to look out for unjustifiable worries (worrying about death, significant regrets etc). Or feeling completely out of character. These are more useful signs of PND.
Are you still on the antibiotics? I always find antibiotics make me feel a bit low in mood and tearful, and that's without the baby hormones!
I was given some powerful antibiotics for an unknown infection (turned out to be mastitis) which may me feel really odd mentally - I then read the leaflet and it said one of the possible side effects was hallucinations!
Later I did develop pnd, like a pp I also had intrusive thoughts (so frightening!) I also thought my baby hated me and wanted me to die. Luckily, these feelings came in episodes and I was relatively rational in between so I knew I needed help.
I’m hesitant to tell you your feelings are normal and not pnd, as my feelings were dismissed by the health visitor etc initially as well, but I think give it a bit more time and see if your feelings begin to subside once you are physically a bit more recovered. I hope you feel better soon.
I had a straightforward delivery and recovery and I definitely remember crying at least once a day for the first few weeks. Whether or not that is normal for everyone, I don't know but I certainly remember it being a very emotional and overwhelming time!
For me, I found that slowly but surely it got better. I clearly remember celebrating with my husband one evening that I had got through an entire day without tears! I hope that it is the same for you xxx
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