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Sex issues after birth!

(15 Posts)
Anna2006 Tue 12-Jun-18 23:01:32

Sex is very painful still at 4 months pp. a deep pain with penetration.

Also has issue with my vaginal entrance getting a little tear/cut at the entrance at 6 o clock every time we have sex. I had an episiotomy & 3rd degree tear & think my vagina entrance is a tad tighter than before.

Has anyone else has this an managed to get it to heal an not come back?!

GimbleInTheWabe Tue 12-Jun-18 23:17:22

I would say that if it is a significant pain then it may be worth going to the doctor to have it check out imo.

I also had a 3rd degree tear when I gave birth Oct last year and I had a check up maybe 6/8 weeks after- if you had one were they happy with your recovery?

I can only imagine that a small tear/soreness is probably normal but if it's worrying you I always think it's better to get it checked out. And tell your partner to take it slow and steady!

Anna2006 Tue 12-Jun-18 23:25:22


Yes I did have a check up but tbh don’t really feel like they checked much. I mentioned sex hurt an they attempted to used speculum to examine which I said hurt as it hurts when the vagina further up is stretched. So examined with fingers & said it felt okay & it was fairly normal & could take upto a year to get better.

But that just seems miserable! A whole year?!

It’s hard after a 3rd degree. Nothing is quite the same after my repair.

Bigpizzalover Tue 12-Jun-18 23:31:16

15 months since I gave birth and I have pain when having sex, feels like a screw driver digging inside of my stomach, also hurts and bloats then afterwards, after having a clear smear I got referred for scans and to gynaecology - I have adhesions (scar tissue) in my womb lining/cervix. I’ve just had my appointment come through to have them lasered.

When I initially saw my doctor at around 4 months pp, they said my body was still settling and to give it time... I then went back about 10 months pp and had the smears/scans.

Bigpizzalover Tue 12-Jun-18 23:34:05

It could also be the scarring from the tear/stitches if they were sewn too tight/wrong position, I would ask for a second option on that first of all, and if no better maybe ask for a referral to gynaecology.

GimbleInTheWabe Tue 12-Jun-18 23:35:37

Poor you OP, it doesn't seem like they listened to your worries at all. Especially so soon after birth you don't want to have any issues which require further appointments, at least that's how I felt!

I'd say definitely go back to your doctor and tell them your worries. It's not the kind of thing you want to leave to potentially get worse.

Have you been doing any pelvic floor stuff? It could help your recovery if it's further up that is the problem area. There's an app called squeezy which is quite good.

Also did you buy any perineum/stretch oil? Or I think maybe olive oil is okay too but do check. You could do some perineal massage in the opening to help loosen it up a bit potentially. Maybe after a nice bath so things are a bit more elastic. And lots of lube if you do feel up to penetrative sex!

wwwwwwwwwwwwww Wed 13-Jun-18 00:11:11

I'd ask for a gynaecologist or women's physio referral.

Anna2006 Wed 13-Jun-18 09:06:18

I see a women’s PT and she said to massage and stretch the area. Which I have been doing but makes no difference to it splitting each time. I think the skin has got weakened.

Thanks I will go back to the doctors and ask about these issues.

Rachelsholiday Wed 13-Jun-18 09:15:47

I had to go back to the doctors at 6 months I couldn't have sex at all. I lovely young House Doctor told me 'at my age' (38) any procedure might be a 'waste of time' and if i was having another child I would 'have to get on with it'

I told him in no uncertain terms if something wasn't done I wouldn't be having another child as I literally couldn't have sex without crying in pain.

I had a Fentimen's procedure (i think that is what its called) day op and it was soooo much better and 2 years later I had another baby and the second time it was all good. I did however get the oldest most experienced midwife to do the stitching second time around not the doctor!!

Please go to the doctors it shouldn't hurt.

Wellthisunexpected Wed 13-Jun-18 21:10:58

4 months is nothing. I'm 2 years pp and it's only because of 5 months of physio that sex is no longer painful.

I strongly recommend that you get checked out. Don't suffer like I did.

badg3r Wed 13-Jun-18 22:57:06

The pain sounds within the realms of normal to be honest. It took around a year for things to settle for me first time round, slightly less subsequently. Felt like I was being massaged internally with sandpaper at first!

The tearing is a bit more unusual. Can you try different positions to see if you can reduce the rate of it happening?

But as others have said, relatively it is still quite early days (even though I is massively frustrating!).

Anna2006 Thu 14-Jun-18 09:51:25

@badg3r we mainly try missionary or in the side as that seems to be easiest way to enter with the amount of scar tissue I have. It seems to split the skin more a drier parts of my cycle ie just after period. And once I get to my more fertile phase it’s fine. We do use lube. But maybe it’s to do with hormones an it being less elastic as certain times of the month.

I’ve booked a doctors appointment so will ask her about it all.

Good to know that it can be relatively normal to hurt from sex after a baby. A lot of my friends haven’t had this issue so felt I was the odd one out & there must be something wrong. But clearly not. Just have to give it time, I keep hearing I’m early days but it’s just frustrating isn’t it. Why did I think I would be back to normal by this point. Maybe slightly naive!

badg3r Thu 14-Jun-18 10:53:12

Yes unfortunately waiting may be mostly what needs done at the moment... it is frustrating though, I know how demoralizing it can be, but a lot of women go through this after childbirth. It's just another of the things people don't talk about RE childbirth and recovery!

FartnissEverbeans Thu 14-Jun-18 18:52:59

I wasn't able to have sex properly for about ten months postpartum. It was really unpleasant and, although my skin didn't split, it sounds otherwise similar to what you described. I had an episiotomy/ventouse.

My doctor told me to use lots of lube, take it slowly and just get on with it basically as that would help it stretch or something. I did my best and it got better eventually, but I don't know if the dr's advice helped or if it would have healed naturally anyway.

MotherofPearl Thu 14-Jun-18 19:32:26

@Rachelsholiday - yes I had this surgery after my first DC. It's Fenton's Procedure. DC2 and DC3 could simply not have been conceived without it. grin

OP, insist on a referral. You should not have to just live with this.

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