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Can I opt for ELCS if it's my first child?

(87 Posts)
liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:21:58

Hi ladies..
I suffer from extremely bad anxiety. I am petrified of the thought of giving birth naturally and was wondering if it would be possible to opt for a ELCS? This is my first baby. I was also involved in quite a terrible car accident which involved the car flipping numerous times when I was 20 weeks pregnant which luckily enough the baby was ok but I have damaged my neck muscles really badly and now suffer from even worse anxiety.. this is making me more petrified of giving birth because of the pain in my neck and having to use my neck when pushing. Any advice would be really helpful right now. I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant x

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:24:42

Have you spoken to a consultant about this? You need to get things moving if you are to have any chance of success in getting the type of birth you need.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:26:17

@NotTakenUsername I was wondering who would be best to speak to about it? I have no clue how to go about it due to being a FTMsad

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:27:52

If you're anxious about giving birth, you should be offered the chance to discuss your anxiety with a healthcare professional who can offer support during your pregnancy and labour.If after discussion and support you still feel that a vaginal birth isn't an acceptable option, you're entitled to have a planned caesarean.

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:29:21

You need to get really bloody assertive! Especially as a first time Mum. I would assume they will try to fob you off.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:30:38

@NotTakenUsername thank you for the link x

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:31:34

@NotTakenUsername do you think? Do you have any advice on what I should say? X

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:32:49

Arm yourself with knowledge. Print that link and highlight the relevant information.

Google birth anxiety. It doesn’t sound like Tokophobia from the limited information shared, but google that too.

Speak to the midwife. Do not let her put you off or play down your concerns.

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:35:03

Also... you will be ok, and you can do this either way. But your fear will cripple you, so you need to face this on now and get prepared for both vbac and elcs.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:35:13

@NotTakenUsername thank you so much. I'll get on the computer straight away in the morning. I really hope they don't fob me off.. petrified is an understatement. I can't sleep!

theunsureone Tue 24-Apr-18 22:35:14

Yes you could try your best on medical grounds, talk to midwife and GP about it GP might need to write a letter etc

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:37:01

Tell them you can’t sleep. Don’t let them play that down as ‘not getting comfortable’. Be clear it is you head that won’t switch off, not your body.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:37:07

@theunsureone I'm due to start physio soon but they've bloody took their time! By the time I have my first physio appointment I only have a few weeks before my due date! I could cry

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:38:59

@NotTakenUsername I have a long history of really bad anxiety to the point where I used to not be able to leave the house. I'm going to explain to them that the fear of birth will end up with me back at square one with my anxiety when I've came so far!

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:39:01

Have you confided in anyone in real life? It’s so hard because everyone is apprehensive about giving birth... you need to be firm, clear and explicit. This is not a bit worried, this is fear and dread.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:42:09

I've confided in both my DM and OH and both are extremely against me having a ELCS but they honestly don't understand how petrified I am. OH is convinced I'm at danger with an ELCS.. it's irritating haha

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:42:12


liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:44:10

@NotTakenUsername sorry forgot to mention you in previous reply. Thank you for that link. Should I speak to my community midwife?

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:45:11

Ok so that’s not helpful. DH doesn’t have to do this. He is a co-parent but the birth plan is your body, your choice. Once baby arrives you can work on the art of compromise.

Elcs carries risk. But you must balance everything together. Is that risk greater than the risk of a mental health relapse if you have a difficult birth?

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:47:15

Should I speak to my community midwife? yes that’s a good place to start. See them as gatekeepers though. They won’t hand any of this to you - you need to really advocate for yourself and keep saying it in different ways until they listen.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:48:42

@NotTakenUsername he is so supportive in every other aspect but just overly worried about something going wrong in a ELCD because he's watched dad too many one born every minute episodes.. soft sod.
Yes that's exactly what I am thinking.. I'm petrified that this extreme anxiety will end up with me being trapped not being able to leave the house again! I don't want to set myself back

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:49:39

@NotTakenUsername yes I see what you mean. My community midwife isn't the most approachable of women, should I say, so I'll have to be strong with my wording!

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:50:08

I’d be tempted to show him this thread (and I never say that!)

It might help communicate to him how deep your fear goes.

NotTakenUsername Tue 24-Apr-18 22:51:10

strong with my wording!

Strong, firm and bloody polite! A very effective cocktail.

liveinthemo Tue 24-Apr-18 22:51:22

@NotTakenUsername bloody phone.. ELCS * and far was what I meant

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