Terrified of having a big baby...

[SK166]

Currently 30 weeks with my first baby and I know everyone must feel this at some point, but I'm becoming seriously concerned that I might have a very large baby.

It's not that I'm a particularly big person - 5'9 and a size 10/12 before pregnancy - but I was talking to my mum last night about her 5 births and I hadn't realised that, although none of her pregnancies went beyond 38 weeks (for various reasons that don't apply to me...inductions for rhesus disease/twin pregnancy/preeclampsia etc etc), all 5 babies were on track to be 10lb or over

I was apparently 8lb12 at 37 weeks....

My mum is a similar build to me, didn't have GD or anything (and my dad is smaller than my husband)...she just had monster babies! And that was even with suffering bad sickness throughout her pregnancies, which hasn't been my experience at all so I'm probably better nourished than she was as well!

I mentioned to the midwife at my last appointment that I was worried about the size of the baby and she told me that I'm measuring completely normal but that hasn't really reassured me at all. This was before I knew about my mum's experiences and I'm genuinely losing sleep over it now....do you think it's worth mentioning again to the midwife? Are they likely to offer me a growth scan on that basis?

Or am I being silly? I don't know...I've never done this before and I'm very anxious. All wisdom/reassurance/advice gratefully received!

[PenApple]

I’m very small, my mum had average sized babies. 2 of mine were over 9lb and 1 was 10lb 9oz.

I don’t think the size of your mums babies have any link to the size of yours. But even if you have big babies, I don’t think it’s any worse than a 7lb birth (not that I can compare mind) and baby fat rolls are the best 😬

[Badgerthebodger]

I had a massive baby, 10lb 5

I had a fairly shit labour but it wasn’t because he was big, it was because my waters went and then nothing got going so I wound up being induced and other things went wrong. Honestly though, you’ll be fine. I don’t think the size of your mum’s babies has any bearing, me and my siblings were all normal sized between 6 and 8lbs - if you’re measuring normal and your midwife is t worried, just try and roll with it. The more relaxed you are about it the better.

[Elllicam]

I had big babies and was always measuring huge by 30 weeks. If you are measuring normally for gestation that’s a good sign.

[Ickyockycocky]

Mine were 8lbs and 9lbs and 9lbs 1oz. They weren't difficult births and I had my third without any pain relief, not even gas and air.

[MayFayner]

DC3 was big, 9lbs 9oz, but by far the easier birth of the 3.

[MayFayner]

*easiest

[gruffalopuffalo]

A heavy baby doesn't mean delivery will be harder. You could have a light baby with a giant head or a heavy baby that's skinny but long. And the whole measuring the bump thing is NONSENSE. It's never accurate. So if you suddenly "measure big" or "measure small", don't worry about that either!

[ibetyoulookgoodonthedancefloor]

My biggest baby (9lbs 5) was my easiest labour.

I was worried that baby no.3 would be big, I was induced early and he was 9lbs 2.

Can't say it was any sorer or harder than my 8lb baby.

[RockinRobinTweets]

If you’re measuring normally then you’re on track for an 8lber. Try not to worry

[userabcname]

Don't worry too much- I was 6lbs and my mum still had to have an episiotomy as I had a giant head. I know someone who has had 2 babies, both over 9lbs, very easily, no complications or tearing. Ease of labour and delivery has little to do with the baby's weight to be honest.

[MarkleAndSpencer]

Mine were 9lbs 4oz and 10lbs 2oz - I'm 5ft 4 and a small size 10 so not big at all. Both measured 'average' the whole way but with DC2 I knew they'd be big as DC1 wasn't small! Both births were fine - just gas and air for both and a few stitches but not awful. Try not to worry - size is just a factor and not the be all and end all!

[ILoveDolly]

Mine were all at the 9lb mark give or take a few ounces. First Labour was only iffy because the baby was wrong way round. If she'd been correctly aligned she would have slipped out in a few hours like all my others. I am small and the midwives always expressed astonishment at the size of child that came out!! Big babies don't make for a harder labour but they do usually settle quicker to feeding well as they can usually take that little bit more milk and are robust. It's nothing to fear.

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

The position of the baby is more critical than its size, specifically where the back is and which part of the head presents first. Have a google of optimal fetal positioning for a more detailed explanation. Additionally it is the size of the pelvic inlet and outlet that are more significant than a woman’s overall size.

[SK166]

Thank you everyone - I actually had a little relieved cry reading responses (damn hormones!). Maybe she won't actually be huge, or maybe if she is then I can actually manage?!

@MrsPatrickDempsey - I hadn't really thought about the impact of positioning. Will look into it - thank you.

Still massively fearing the prospect of an episiotomy/bad tear, but I guess there's very little I can do to avoid that, no matter what size she turns out to be

[cresentmooned]

I had a 10lb4 baby, no pain relief or intervention. There just wasn’t any time, he was coming when he was coming! I was terrified too, I am small. Midwife told me sometimes it is easier to deliver a bigger baby! I know of friends who struggled with much smaller babies. I don’t think size = difficult birth.

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

Its the position of the baby in labour that makes more difference than its size - I have been reading a lot about optimal fetal positioning - if they are the right way up (vs back to back) it makes several cms of difference as to what has to go through the pelvis apparently!

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

@MrsPatrickDempsey x-post, sorry!

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

I mean I should have RTFT

[Mybabystolemysanity]

Try not to worry too much about being stitched afterwards. It was my biggest fear all the way through. I had a lot- second degree so internal and external and honestly, it was fine. They give you really good anaesthesia and all I felt was a bit of tugging. 20 minutes and it was done. Do all you can to avoid getting constipated, though!

[Classicdipselection]

Size really isn't everything. I had a massive baby (11lbs!) and I have a smaller frame than you (5ft3, size 10). I only dilated to 7cm and then stopped, so even if my baby had been 6lbs he would never, ever have made it out without a c-section.

My sister had a wonderful vaginal birth, paracetamol for pain relief, 9 hour labour in water, 8lbs4oz baby... and a 3rd degree tear and emergency surgery at 11pm.

Both of us are happy with our births in our own ways and both of us were lucky enough to have healthy babies and good recoveries from our surgeries.

Just be open minded and prepare yourself for the various birth possibilities as best you can. Good luck!

[Classicdipselection]

PS both of us are having second babies so it really can't have been that bad

[SK166]

@Mybabystolemysanity - yep that's the big big fear...not even the epis/tearing itself, but a bad repair job. It has happened to a friend of mine recently and she's on a very very long road towards regaining 'normal' function. I just know that if I were in her position, it would likely send me on a downward spiral, in terms of mental health.

God there's just so much to obsess over and worry about, isn't there? Maybe they should just start me on some gas and air now so I can chill out a bit!

[blueskypink]

I had 3 sons. In order of birth -

9lbs 7oz
8lbs 12 oz
11 lbs 13 oz

The thing is, their head sizes were all pretty much the same. That's what counts, not their weight. And once you've got the head out that's the hardest part over. My almost 12 pounder was the easiest by far (though admittedly, as he was no. 3 things had probably been loosened up a bit ...)

[babyinthacorner]

I'm very petite - the size of an average 10-11 year old! DC1 was 7lb 4oz & DC2 was 8lb 7.5oz. Not particularly big, but DC2 came out more easily than 1 and with no pain relief! You'll be fine. I'd highly recommend hypnobirthing cds for anxiety relief, I swear by it. Good luck OP x

[Twounder1]

My baby boy was 9 pound 9 oz. He also had shoulder dystocia and got stuck.

I gave birth with no pain relief.
You can do it. In fact his birth was easier than my 7 pound 10 dd!