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Please tell me your easy birth stories...

(65 Posts)
sirlee66 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:22:59

Hi everyone! I'm 31 weeks Pregnant and a FTM.

We were trying for years to conceive and it finally happened. Over the moon. I've been taking it all one step at a time (haven't wanted to 'jinx' anything) and now all of a sudden it's finally dawned on me that actually this is happening and in a few weeks I'm going to have to give birth!!

I've read a couple of threads on MN about terrible things that have happened during people's labour. Crossed with the awful stories people tell me in RL about how horrific it is and how it's common to get PTSD after traumatic births.

I've basally got myself into a bit of a mess. I'm really really nervous now to the point where I've started to cry the past couple of days worrying about horrible midwives / someone holding me down against my wishes / being refused pain relief or knowing something is wrong but no-one checking/believing me.

Not particularly looking forward to the pain – but that comes part and parcel with giving birth so I'm fine with that.

Bit more info so I don't drip feed: I'm naturally quite an anxious worrier anyway: I've got low PAPP-A which means I have to take an aspirin a day making my blood really thin. What if I bleed so much I die! I'm also rhesus-negative so what happens if my blood and the babies blood mix and he dies! I feel like its all getting on top of me and I don't know what to do. I've not had any experience of this before (other than what I've seen in movies) and the fear of the un-known / not being in control may be making this worse.

I was wondering if anyone could share their easy, happy, relaxed birth stories where its all just straight forward and simple. No trauma.

I'm fully aware things don't always go to plan and I'm okay with that. We've waited so long for this baby that I'd happily lose both legs if it meant he's born safe. Any complications during the actual labour – I'm sure I can deal with. I just want to calm down before it all kicks off and stop being unduly worried when, at the moment, I don't need too.

Please, only post your nice, straightforward birth stories (If they even exist!) Call me a snowflake - but I just don't think I can cope with another awful birth story. I'm really struggling.

PenguinsandPandas Mon 12-Feb-18 14:32:43

No one is going to hold you down or refuse pain relief, unless say you are 9cms dilated and its only a few pushes away. So don't worry about that. You are also in the best place for treatment incase of complications.

The odd midwife is horrible but that's like every profession in life, if it really bothers you complain and get them changed. My first labour was terrible but I never had PTSD and I have a beautiful girl and out of your whole life its such a short period of time. My second was a breeze in comparison, waters broke in the morning, went into hospital, had to breathe through contractions until 5cms that's like bad period pain then had a water birth. 7.30pm my lovely son born all healthy.

You will be fine. It took us 3 years and IVF ICSI to get the first and everything went wrong in the pregnancy but once you have your baby that's all that matters.

Wolfiefan Mon 12-Feb-18 14:38:11

I have anxiety
I am rhesus negative.
My first birth we only got to the hospital 2 and a half hours before he was born. TENS at home was fine until then. TBH I fully expected to be told to go home and take a paracetamol and have a bath. grin
Water birth. Nobody lay a finger on me without asking me. Relaxed and calm (well as relaxed and calm as a birth can be!)
Second was even faster!

twoundertwox Mon 12-Feb-18 14:39:42

Congratulations thanks
I LOVED giving birth smile
Three babies in 3 years!
Third time was the best, helped by the fact the unit was closed (can't remember why possibly post natal was full) so I was the only person on there!
Super quick, got to get in the pool which I'd wanted to do for the other two but couldn't.
And I LOVED the gas and air.
Try not to have too many expectations the you can't get too disappointed choices wise. I went from a full on birthing plan with number 1, to just writing no epidural on my third plan.
Enjoy x

QuietFin Mon 12-Feb-18 14:39:43

My first baby came after 4hrs 24 mins, couple of stitches and all done 😊
Second was breech so had a c-section, not the nightmare I was expecting, was my easiest birth and afterwards was no where near as bad as I thought it was going to be!
Third was 1 hr 49 mins!
My smallest baby was 8lb 12 and my biggest 9lb 12!
There are easy/good stories out there, you know it's going to hurt but as my mum said, nothing you can't handle! And you will soon forget about it! Whilst you are in the middle it will feel never ending but you know it will end, you just have to focus on that and your gorgeous baby!!
Good luck and you will be fine xx

sirlee66 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:41:06

Thank you so much PenguinsandPandas and Wolfiefan

You have no idea how much that means to me.

Countingsheeeep Mon 12-Feb-18 14:44:56

I would seriously recommend you do a hypnobirthing course, it will help you to view labour in a much more positive way.

I had a lovely birth with DD, really calm and relaxed, genuinely not as painful as people had lead me to believe, no tear or stitches. She just turned 1 and I am 33 weeks pregnant and genuinely looking forward to labour. We are going for a home birth this time smile

Rarotonga Mon 12-Feb-18 14:45:39

Hi there
Congratulations on your pregnancy flowers

I wonder if hypnobirthing might help? My sister recommended this to me as she said her labour was relaxing and pain free. I'd never heard anybody say that previously so gave it a go. I found the relaxation techniques really helpful during my baby's birth just under a year ago.

I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious OP, take care and all the very best to you.

sirlee66 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:46:24

twoundertwox Thank you so much

QuietFin That's amazing - Thank you.

I feel so much better. Might be having a little cry (out of relief) So thank you so so much.

Yogagirl123 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:49:19

Try not to spoil your pregnancy by worrying OP. Giving birth does hurt, but it’s not constant, the pain comes and goes with the contractions, and once you have your baby you will soon forget it. I had two, so it can’t be too bad.

I had natural deliveries, no pain relief , I wasn’t being brave I was open to the idea of it, I just didn’t feel I needed it. I am also rh neg so don’t worry about that either.

Good luck OP, you will probably cope a lot better then you expect.

FragrantFloozy Mon 12-Feb-18 14:52:43

I second hypnobirthing. You don't need to do a course - just buy a CD and listen to it as you're going to sleep at night.

Natal hypnotherapy (think its Maggie Howell?) was the one I used.

I ended up with a c-section, but the hypnobirthing exercises really helped me to stay calm and take things in my stride as much as possible.

Tinty Mon 12-Feb-18 14:53:42

Hi OP the rhesus negative thing is supposed to only be a problem for second and subsequent babies, not the first. The hospital will give you an injection after you have had the baby to stop your body making the cells that attack the next baby. Also your baby may have the same blood group as you anyway. (Mine both did). So the first baby should be fine. Good luck.

Followtheyellowsicktoad Mon 12-Feb-18 14:54:46

My first was a water birth and quite easy, the midwife was awesome!
My second ended up being an emergency section as the baby was in a difficult position, it was fine though and the feeling of the epidural thingy was sheer bliss😊.
My third was 10lb 11oz and for months everybody I met had been putting the wind up me by saying what a massive bump and baby there was in there.. It was a piece of cake, all long and thin and just slithered out. I had a student midwife and we were all quite cheery in the delivery suit!
Also, I too am rhesus negative and it was fine. All it meant for me was hanging around for an anti D injection.
The book Birth Skills was really good for positive tales but not fixated on the idea that if you have pain relief and interventions you have somehow failed. You haven't.
You can also deflect people who are getting too gruesome, just say that you don't want to hear terrible birth tales at the moment. Good luck!

waterlego6064 Mon 12-Feb-18 14:59:43

I had two lovely births OP. First was a textbook hospital birth, 12 hours start to finish, no drugs, no stitches. Second was a waterbirth at home, 5 hrs. WONDERFUL experience. Was ready to do it all again an hour later!

My labours were hard work and painful and at times a bit scary. But they were overwhelmingly positive experiences. Sometimes if I can’t sleep, I replay my birth stories in my mind. I find them comforting and affirming.

Good luck OP, you’ve got this.

Wolfiefan Mon 12-Feb-18 15:01:53

Oh and he was 9lb. And back to back!
TENS was great.
Water was fantastic.
Number two was born in under an hour! shock

mayhew Mon 12-Feb-18 15:03:39

Hypnobirthing! Not a gimmick. As midwives, we tell each other "keep an eye on that one, she's hypnobirthing." By that I mean, women, including first timers, often progress with speed and serenity, surprising us with the baby!

waterlego6064 Mon 12-Feb-18 15:03:58

I really liked the TENS too. I know it’s a bit like Marmite- some people find it annoying or unhelpful, but I liked it.

Rarotonga Mon 12-Feb-18 15:05:33

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin put my mind at ease before giving birth.

Squaffle Mon 12-Feb-18 15:08:06

Totally agree with Yogagirl123; it’s so easy to worry and it can seem like there’s so much to worry about, but try not to let it ruin such a special time (huge congrats by the way!).

My waters broke at 41+1 after a normal day with no sign that anything was happening. DD was born in the water at our local midwife unit 6 hours later. No time for pain relief apart from 10 mins of gas & air. To say it hurt would be an understatement but it was manageable and the minute she arrived it was totally worth it (and 2 years later she still is!). I yelled, I swore, I pooed, and I couldn’t have cared less! It was intense but in the best way.

I know you are looking for easy birth stories but also wanted to reassure you that I was ok after complications too: I had a retained placenta which I had to have surgically removed, I lost blood and needed to take iron afterwards for a while, but it was all fine. The NHS are incredible, I couldn’t fault any of the care I received even if I tried. You and your little one are in safe hands.

Please speak to your midwife about how you are feeling, there’ll be no judgement and they will be able to support you. Good luck flowers

Tangoandcreditcards Mon 12-Feb-18 15:08:38

I've given birth to 2 DSs both in under 4 hours.

The thing is, there's not so many easy birth stories, because there's not much to tell. Laboured for a couple of hours - popped out a baby - twice. It does happen! Only bit of drama was getting to the hospital in time first time around, but was discharged 4 hours after. Did home birth the second time, midwife arrived in time to catch him (still had her coat on) and was gone in 2 hours.

Wolfiefan Mon 12-Feb-18 15:11:27

I think people are all too ready to tell you their horror stories and those of us who had a straightforward birth don't generally mention it.
Breathing helped me. Count slowly in. Count slowly out. Same number of counts in and out. Slow and steady. Keep it even.
And then there's always drugs if you want them. Keep your options open and don't feel bad of things don't go exactly to plan.

justdontevenfuckingstart Mon 12-Feb-18 15:12:08

Number 1, five hours no pain relief. Episiotomy and she had to be resuscitated. Loads of stitches. But op it was ALL OK everything that needed to be done was done and I didn't suffer or was in pain and DD1 is now an amazing woman!

Number 2, screamed at a woman in the hospital car park, got rushed up. 1 push later DD2 arrived. Not so much as a scratch and was home an hour later.

I am rhesus negative and worried as well but it isn't an issue with your first and if the baby is positive as both mine are you get the anti d injection. ( assuming that is still the case)

Best wishes x

TresDesolee Mon 12-Feb-18 15:16:19

I had two absolutely fine births. The first went on a bit, but absolutely nothing scary or terrible happened, and the joy I felt afterwards was indescribable. I was high as a kite for days.

For the second I read Sheila Kitzinger and did a bit of pregnancy yoga. The one thing i’d say is, if you possibly can, keep moving in early labour. Circle your hips etc during contractions, stand up, walk around. Clap the TENS machine on early.

I got to the labour ward and my second was born within about 20 mins of me walking in under my own steam. I was convinced there were still hours to go because I felt so calm.

I’m rhesus neg too. You’ve probably been tested to make sure your antibodies haven’t developed already. Assuming they haven’t, it’s not a problem on a first birth, and the anti-D injection takes care of the rest.

Finally - it’s all a matter of luck and chance in the end, I firmly believe this. Don’t get so attached to any one birth plan that you’ll feel you’ve ‘failed’ if something has to change.

Good luck!

waterlego6064 Mon 12-Feb-18 15:21:38

Just wanted to pick up on what you’ve said about loss of control. I got scared during my first labour, and it was considerably more painful than the second- don’t know if it would have been anyway, but perhaps the fear played a part. I remember feeling panicked, like I might not be able to do it, or I might die. I wanted to escape the pain, to get away from it. I felt like I was trying to squirm my way out of my own body!

The second time, I felt a lot more in control. I was able to ‘ride’ the contractions, knowing that this was all normal and ok. I knew that I couldn’t die from the pain of a contraction, and I was aware of consciously ‘submitting’ to them. Letting them carry me along, not trying to control them. Just letting it be. That mental ‘switch’ made such a difference.

Before the first one, I had read something about ‘surfing the waves’ of contractions in a birthing book and it really irritated me. But now I understand it exactly!

thedayismine Mon 12-Feb-18 15:23:28

Hi OP another one here with two children and nothing but positive memories of both births - would have loved to do it all again !

Also recommend natal hypnotherapy- just the book and audio downloads made me so calm and confident .

Dc1 I got to hospital about midday and she was born about 6 hours later . Got through with TENS and slow deep yoga breathing Ended up with a bit of help from a ventouse as she got a bit stuck but that was totally fine.
DC1 - unplanned home birth - went from vaguely wondering if something was happening to poor DH being yelled at
to call an ambulance - DS arrived about 5 minutes after the ambulance - it was a bit of a shock to DH but I was totally calm and overjoyed it all happened so quickly !
I rarely talk about my births as others have said - if someone tells you what an awful time they had then you can't pitch in with how wonderful your own experience was without sounding a little smug !
It of course isn't something you can control and that makes it more scary but the cliche that it's soon forgotten is true for most women !
Good luck - special times ahead !

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