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Visitors after you've given birth

(4 Posts)
Ihatemarmite123 Wed 07-Feb-18 21:44:21

I wondered what other people did about inviting people to see baby after they were born.
Did you invite people to the hospital?
Did they just turn up?
Did you invite people round once you were home?

This is my second baby, after my first who died I was bombarded. And in laws too great offence to us trying to limit visits.

We had no time alone with our first due to in laws demands...very over bearing, controlling and emotionally unstable.

I had a very bad tear, lots of stitches and lost a lot of blood so was pretty ill, I needed rest and couldn't get it, a few occasions I pretended to be asleep on the ward but they just sat next to the bed waiting and chatting away.

Dh and I want to have time for just the 3 of us in the hospital and after. Would we be setting ourselves up for more trouble if we say no to visitors for the first week?

Owlettele Wed 07-Feb-18 21:48:11

Sorry for your loss. Absolutely not unreasonable. You need time to process, recover and enjoy your new bundle before people barge in and outstay their welcome.

People won't like it. They never do but stand firm you're right to want some time for the three of you first of all. Enjoy it flowers

Sinistrophobia Wed 07-Feb-18 22:04:11

I'm so sorry for your loss thanks

People probably won't be happy but you can't please everyone and you need to put yourself and your partner and baby first. That first week together just the three of you will be so precious, please stand your ground and do what you want to do. I will definitely be doing this with DC2 after having to deal with pass the baby and hosting countless visitors with DC1

KimmySchmidt1 Thu 08-Feb-18 09:01:45

People don’t own you like a piece of meat or object for their consumption just because you’ve had a baby.

Make your DH knows it’s his job to be firm with his family and protect you from them if that is what you want.

You need to time to recover and you don’t have to let all and sundry see you looking ill/breast feeding etc etc etc.

Most people we know are fairly emotionally intelligent and have explicitly said let us know when you’re ready. But my DH will gladly put straight anyone who thinks their rights over your baby trump your and your baby’s right to be quiet and comfortable. Thickos.

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