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Elective section-am I doing the right thing??

(13 Posts)
Loosingmynerve Tue 05-Dec-17 16:46:00

Hi all,
I'm booked in for a planned section on Thursday but not sure if it's the right thing to do.

Background: first baby c/s due to breech 3 years ago. At the time I'd been having reduced movement, I knew the placenta was calcified and was only too happy to get him out. My SIL was also pregnant at the time and we knew that her baby would not live long after birth. I was very aware of this and my anxiety levels were greatly increased.

During this pregnancy I decided early on that I would not be happy to go overdue due to previous placenta issues and the fear from reduced movement. I discussed this with the consultant and was told no problem, can have elective section at 38-39 weeks.
However, as time went on I was more confident and have pushed that to 40 weeks, movement has been fine etc

Now though, I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing.

Other info:
1) I am a trained midwife, I'm not sure whether the doctors feel I know what's in my own best interests and have therefore let me decide.

2) I currently work in a NICU- births going wrong is my day-to-day so this may have skewed my perception of "risk"

3) I don't plan on having more children- obviously this may change in the future

4) I'm worried about leaving my 3 yr old for a longer hospital stay, and worried about how I'll manage at home post section. I will have good support though.

5) Head still hasn't engaged, didn't engage in my last baby either. Absolutely nothing happening at all, no twinges or signs of labour. Possibly a pelvic issue? It's unlikely I know. I don't want to refuse a section this week, go on another week or two and still end up with a section 2 weeks closer to Christmas (petty, I know)

I had an appointment this morning, when I asked I was told I could wait until Monday but because head was so high and bishops score was only 1 last week she didn't reassess because she felt a section was inevitable.

I know I can always refuse the section etc. Not even sure what I'm looking for. Reassurance?? That I'll cope fine, my body will heal, my 3 yr old will get over it??

Thanks to anyone who has read this far!!

eeanne Tue 05-Dec-17 17:46:13

Very similar situation. I had DC2 3 days ago via planned CS at 40 weeks exactly. First was ELCS for breech 2 years ago. DC2 was still high and not engaged and I decided not to keep waiting. I’m finding my recovery in these first few days easier than the first CS, but I will be tested when I leave hospital tomorrow!

In short I don’t regret going ahead with the ELCS given my body was showing zero signs of going into labour naturally.

DZS71017 Tue 05-Dec-17 17:55:13

Congratulations you two on your pregnancy! Read this and after today hearing a lot of ‘you’re not a proper mum if you didn’t have a baby naturally’ yadda yadda i’d like to say go for it. If that’s what you want, go for it. Think about the pros and cons. So close to Christmas and being prepared for the baby? I know what I would choose!

I had my first baby 8 weeks ago via emergency c-section (unknown pre-eclampsia and had a seizure in labour) and I have no regrets at all. The scar will fade in time and either way, your body will go through a massive change! Just know your babies will be here soon.
Good luck xx

TheNoseyProject Tue 05-Dec-17 17:58:57

I think it’s v hard to decide. I had an elective section on mental health grounds and from that point of view I don’t regret it. But it was much harder to recover from and my stomach is a mess from it. It also left me wondering if I could have had a vaginal birth. So all in all I think I did the right thing but I recognize that feeling of it not being a cut and dry ‘this is right no questions’ Decision

Loosingmynerve Tue 05-Dec-17 18:44:21

DZS to be honest there is a small part of me that feels that I won't "really" have given birth if I have another elective. Obviously, this is my own issue and not something I would judge others by, and i definitely would not ever articulate to those I come into contact with through work.

I also feel a bit bad that my husband won't get to see a "normal" delivery or cut the cord etc because of my choices. It's not something he would ever make an issue of though. He's leaving the decision up to me.

It's certainly not that I think a vaginal delivery/recovery would be easier. I have seen so many women in labour and can say that I think I would be completely rubbish at it!!

I just don't want to make the "wrong" decision.

TheNoseyProject Tue 05-Dec-17 20:42:08

My dh cut the cord during my planned section!

Loosingmynerve Tue 05-Dec-17 21:45:46

I'm almost certain that dh cutting the cord during a section is not an option in my local hospital. As I said, it's not a huge issue anyway but I know it's something he would want to do if given the option.

I dunno, maybe it's just FOMO, never experiencing contractions/labour and the exhilaration and sense of achievement. I know that at the birth of my ds I did the least work out of everyone that was in the theatre that day!

Eeanne congrats on the new arrival!

Thanks to everyone else for the support!

Ragwort Tue 05-Dec-17 21:54:32

As a trained midwife you will have given this very careful consideration and I am sure you have made the right decision (quite why anyone would 'choose' a VB is beyond me, I have read so many horror stories following VBs - and you must be aware of the serious complications that can arise).

I had an EMCS, no problems recovering at all - and I am so grateful to not have had to experience a VB.

Sparklyuggs Tue 05-Dec-17 22:10:27

Like many decisions, there's more than one right answer and it might not be obvious until after. If you knew that you would definitely have a straightforward VB that's one thing but a VBAC is a bit different.

FWIW I had an ELCS in July and I also felt a sadness about never experiencing labour, but I've made peace with it and I keep reminding myself of the advantages of an ELCS- primarily being able to plan and prepare a support system.

superram Tue 05-Dec-17 22:27:12

I had an emcs for second child after vaginal birth. Vaginal births are overrated and if my cs has been first I would not have Vbac. My stomach and fango are ruined. Have the section.

Loosingmynerve Tue 05-Dec-17 23:21:04

Thanks all!

GrockleBocs Tue 05-Dec-17 23:34:43

Professionally your goal is surely mother and child alive and well and no unnecessarily trauma?
I had an elcs for one of mine. I was walking about in 24 hours and never got any oramorph because I was fine angry
I just honestly think it's not worth fretting over. You must have dealt with all manner of complications and know that women are filled with doubt.
There is no wrong in choosing an elcs, particularly with a history.

1stTimeRounder Thu 07-Dec-17 00:22:29

Don't worry about the FOMO... you're not missing out! I went through labour and contractions and pushing and then ended up with an EMCS. If anyone could have known how it would turn out I would gladly bypass all that pain and mooing!!!

Whenever dc2 comes along I fully intend to have an elcs. Having heard about some of the complications my friends had from vb (tearing, stitches, incontinence) I just think WHY would I put myself through that. And anyway chance of a vbac being successful are not great, so you could end up with an EMCS anyway.

Look the right choice is the right choice FOR YOU. But genuinely you're not missing out and you are no less of a woman/mum/midwife for having undergone major surgery to get your dc earthside safely!
flowers

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