Fear of childbirth

[MummyToBeAgain1]

Hii .. I hope someone can calm me down!

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with dc2 and as times getting close; my fear of childbirth has increased. Im scared beyond words.

With dc1 I didn't have a clue as to what i should expect so i wasn't scared at all.

I'v been through it once and now i know exactly what will happen and the level of pain to come..

There's no going back.. but how do i get through this?

[Worriedobsessive]

ELCS. Hurt less than a leg wax.

[sthitch]

Epidural.

I had an awful labour but it was made perfectly fine because I’d had an epidural (I went in for a natural water birth) next time I wouldn’t hesitate- why feel pain when you can just feel pressure to push?

[Averyhappyunbirthdaytoyou]

Hi, I trained as a midwife, let me reassure you that the Vast majority of 2nd labors are the shortest, easiest labors women will have.

Even in our training (before gaining the experience and seeing it for ourselves) we were taught this general rule of thumb- 1st labors are hard, 2nd ones are quick and be ready to catch as baby tends to fly out (!) and thirds can go either way.

My own 2nd delivery (I am preg with my 6th) was my easiest and fastest. It was over from the first pain to her flying out into the toilet (!!!) in less than 40 minutes!

Don't panic , I know the memory of your first must b weighing heavily on you. There is nothing quite so shocking and brutal as a first labor. Your body has never done it before , all that stretching and pushing to get the baby around the last bend is hideous ! You can take my promise with you that the second time will be easier. Your body has got this and won't let you down X
Its your birth, so you do whatever you want to suit it to your needs.

On a side note my last delivery was excellent because the midwife rolled in an inflatable birth pool just in case I fancied giving it a go and it was Excellent! It was the only time I didn't tear at all and (honestly) I wasn't even swollen down there afterwards - I dnt know why it took me so long to try it for myself when every midwifery book details the benefits of the water 'supporting' the perinium and the babies entrance .
Maybe have a look into it? Feel more in control of your new birth

All the very best x

[SittingAround1]

Another one here saying second births are much easier. Mine was quicker and I just let my body get in with it. I knew it wouldn't last forever.
Epidurals are good.
I'm the meantime can you pamper yourself a bit, pregnancy massage, yoga etc.

[MaverickSnoopy]

My first labour was 24 hours and second was 4 hours. So I well believe the theory. Epidural failed me in my second though. They tried after the first hour and I didn't feel any effect (did in my first) and as I understand it sometimes it doesn't work (just never thought it would be me!) so don't pin your hopes on it. What I would say is that I found different ways to cope. Have you looked into that thing that's popular that's like hypnotherapy (I can't think what it's called)?

[lozengeoflove]

Everything that averyhappy said.
Second labour was so easy, I'm keen to repeat it three pushes and baby was out.
This, was quite different to 52 minutes of pushing with DC1.

I felt the same as you, and spent every midwife appointment asking the midwife if it would be as hard as the first time I told her that I'm scared that my body wouldn't know how to push. She just laughed and reassured me each time.

I found the book Birthing Skills by Juju Sundin helped me enormously too.
Good luck OP, it will all be fine

[MummyToBeAgain1]

Thabkyou so much to everyone who has reolied. It was good to wake up to these replies :-)

I think what makes my fear worse is that my circumstances have changed this time. My dh will be looking after our toddler therefore I would need to labour alone this time. We have no family/friends who would be willing to keep him - thats a whole new thread. I can't get a doula because frankly we can't afford one.

I think this adds to the anxeity and labouring by myself feels so scary.

I was in birth centre last time and we were left alone till the baby was actually about to come out. Midwifes would come here and there to check me. I can't get around the idea of being in that room going through such intense pain alone :/

My first labour started at 3am till 8pm the same day - pain was tolerable. At 8pm i was 4cm and by 1am the next morning i had him after just a few pushes. The midwifes said how simple and good my labour was. I left with no cuts or stitches.

I didn't think the labour was simple at all the pain! I know people go through worse and I should be positive. I guess the times coming close so i'm bound to worry.

I'll definteoy have a look into hypnotherapy and water births. Thankyou!

& i'm just about to look up the book by Juju Sundin too!

[Ohyesiam]

I felt really shocked at the level of pain in my first labour. I can safely say my second labour was literally 10 times less painful. And I felt like my body knew what to do, and that I had a measure of control, for eg I could show the contractions down by breathing at the beginning. The first one felt like being in a cyclone!
Could you look into Hypno birthing op? Or similar.
Congratulations, and hope it goes well.

[Littlehouseonthepraririe]

Have you considered a home birth ? Tht way it dp could be present ?

[MummyToBeAgain1]

Ohyesiam

Yeah, exactly the first time I literally felt like i'm about to die although having never experienced death not sure why I kept saying that lol!

Right, hopefully this time I know what to expect and it should be okay! If there's any issues, i'll deal with them at the time. I don't want to keep thinking of the 'what ifs' when that won't be in my control.

I'm going to look in to hypnobirthing tonight. Hopefully, that helps.

littlehouseontheprairirie

Homebirth isn't even an option I would consider. The thought of something going wrong.

[Relaxing2]

How are you doing anxiety calmed down