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Doula experiences: worth it, or not?

(5 Posts)
TerrifyingFeistyCupcake Fri 10-Nov-17 20:43:12

I'm in the fortunate position of having had a straightforward natural birth for my first, and consequently know birth can be really positive and would like it to be so again. I'm aiming for a home birth this time and feel fairly confident. However, I really don't care for the midwifery care I've been receiving in my new area; every time I see my midwife, I think "Gosh, I hope they don't send you to my birth".

I'm toying with the idea of a doula and have met one I quite like, but I feel ambivalent about dropping £1k on it. I could afford it, albeit by digging into savings, but we'd certainly feel it. Any opinions/experiences?

sycamore54321 Sat 11-Nov-17 12:11:18

Can you say why you'd like a doula? What role are you hoping she would play?

Personally I cannot see the point of a doula in nearly every circumstance - neither a medical professional to be able to give help when needed, nor a person who you have a genuine loving relationship with for the moral support element. I appreciate people's experiences and opinions are different to mine but if I had £1000 to spend for birth-related support, I would much rather spend it on something that would help me recover like a private room in hospital for sleep or some kind of night time help for a few nights if the baby didn't sleep well, or a housekeeping service to sort out the house etc. or save the money to add a week to my maternity leave.

For a home birth also, would it be getting a little crowded if you have another adult in the living room or wherever?

Sorry for not answering your question. It's just I've never seen the point of doulas and I wonder if you are inclined towards one because it fits with the whole home /natural both picture or if you have a genuine need that you think is best met in this way?

TerrifyingFeistyCupcake Sat 11-Nov-17 12:15:04

I would like someone there who i know and feel comfortable with, who knows me and what I want in terms of support, and whose sole purpose is to support and advocate for me. I would also like someone there as backup so my DH can if necessary watch our older child.

The one midwife who will have provided my antenatal care, I neither like nor trust. I found my DH's presence at my first birth of anything a mild hindrance, because I didn't need him but felt like I had to care for his feelings and include him somehow.

Doulas also hang around to provide postnatal support and can sort out the filling and emptying of the pool for you.

Her0utdoors Sat 11-Nov-17 12:27:41

Worth it, for me. Dds birth was traumatic partly because of being pushed into the 'cascade of interventions' by the midwife team and obstetrics. My doula had a specialism in birth trauma and many years experience working with birthing women and the staff in the local hospital so she was able to strongly assert my preference for ds's birth with everyone and although his birth was far from straight forward played a huge part in avoiding me having pnd again. She also completely managed the birth pool so dh was able to concentrate on caring for DD, which was massively important for me. If she had been more of the scented candles and whale music type it wouldn't have been worth it!

stepbystepdoula Tue 14-Nov-17 06:58:34

It is entirely your choice, tgecgreat thing about a doula us that you are sure who will be there to support you, your chosen midwife may not be available.
Evidence based research concludes the presence if a doula shortens labour and reduces use of pain relief.
It's an investment in making your birth a great experience, well worth considering.
Good luck ❤

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