7 weeks post birth and I've just looked 'down there'

[Lazaringo]

I've just had my second child - 16 months after my first.

After my first massive baby crashed her massive skull through it, I largely ignored my downstairs. I was planning to do the same this time, but because my midwife visits stopped (due to baby weight gain being good) I wanted to check on my stitches.

Naturally I drank a fair amount of wine first, but no amount of Pinot could have prepared me for what I was going to see.

Jesus Christ.

The only way I can describe it is as if someone gave my vagina to a toddler, along with a hammer, and let them do their work, before gathering up all the bits and asking a blind person to make a vagina out of them.

The main issues are:

• Some sort of weird skin flap. Can't even begin to imagine what it's function ever was, if anything.
  
• Weird purple/black veins running along the outside (bruising?).
  
• I can't even see the scar from the tearing this time or previous episiotomy. This should be a good thing, but it's just more likely that the bits are so mangled that the scars are just hiding amongst the devastation.
  
• The 'entrance' looks really high up, much higher than it did before. This makes no sense. If it was still swollen shouldn't it be hanging low? It's like it's all shrunken up or something.
  
• Random fleshy lumps.
  
• Can't actually make out the clitoris or the pee hole. They're both definitely there, they must just look different.
  
• Wonkiness. Nothing is where it's supposed to be, no symmetry whatsoever.
  
• General extreme ugliness.
  

I did pelvic floor exercises fairly religiously for the first couple of weeks, but then I got bored. Because they ARE like, really boring, right? I don't have any incontinence at all, so I'm presuming that I still have some semblance of a pelvic floor, and that doing the odd kegel isn't going to right this mess?

What am I looking at here? Sex with the lights off for the rest of my life? Or worse? No sex?

[babycakes101]

I have no idea what to say OP, but I wish you well and hope you’re sorted soon!

[rollingonariver]

I don’t really see why it matters tbh? That’s not to belittle what you’re feeling, just to reassure you.
No ones ‘downstairs’ is a attractive I wouldn’t think? I’ve never looked at mine but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it 😂

[Wiggles9408]

Oh god OP that’s quite the description! It’s only been seven weeks so I’d give it a little more time and then go back down and check it out. Mine was actually a car crash my dp took a picture and it was so swollen looked like I had a penis... so that’s great. It I just a vagina but it’s part of your body and it’s changed again which is hard to accept. Maybe have a chat with you GP and see if there are any options for you? hoow things get a bit better and either docs can maybe help or you can kerb to love your new friend?

[Wiggles9408]

hope and learn

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I remember thinking mine looked like an echoey cavern after DS1.... I had a 3rd degree tear and stitches ALL the way back, so a fair amount of remodelling too.

I can't say I ever think about it as we tend to have sex with the lights off, when the opportunity comes up (rarely if ever). The DC are 6 and 5yo.

Sorry, that may be more depressing on the plus side, DH doesn't remotely care what I look like down there!

[nightshade]

As my midwife once said..

Why the hell did you look???

[KalaLaka]

Agh, don't stress it. They're functional beautiful things! I've had csections and I'm still sure mine is not fit for the mantelpiece

[SuzukiLi]

Go to the doctors? Mine doesn't look any different, I thought it all went back to normal after.

[BlossomCat]

I still remember taking a mirror to check out the damage after the birth of my second baby. I was horrified!

A bruised, broken, gaping chasm of doom.

It no longer looks like that. Everything has settled down and it no longer looks like that. Working in health care, I've seen plenty of womens downstairs bits.None look like a postpartum fanny for ever. What you see now will change, settle and look better given time. When you cut and bruise your leg, it takes time to go back to normal.
It WILL get better.
for you (and your bruised and battered ladyparts, that made a beautiful baby)

[stillvicarinatutu]

does it still all work? if so - forget it.
its part and parcel of having more than 1 i think. it will never quite be the same.
everything seems to move. how ive no idea.

[Halfdrankbrew]

Sorry I did giggle a little at your description, but as others have said it will calm down with time. I looked at mine about a week after I had my second baby a few months back and it was so swollen and bruised it didn't even look like a vagina! I decided to have another gander just a few days ago, I dunno curiosity or something, but bar some extra bits that weren't there and a couple of tears they left to heal that clearly didn't it's fine or as fine as it can look after squeezing 2 babies out in 18months!

[sthitch]

I'm 8 weeks and had a look at like 3 it's all good now though and I had a fairly traumatic time - is it definitely right down there? Might be worth a mention if you haven't had your 6 week doctors appt yet - I know they tend to run late.

[petalsinthegarden]

I don't really have anything to add other than, I think 7 weeks is a pretty short healing time?

However, I just wanted to compliment you on your excellent writing style!

[AlexsMum89]

I don't think I ever looked after having DS. I had quite a large episiotomy, but it definitely looks about normal now. I am pregnant with my 2nd though so this is just causing a whole world of terror that I don't really want in my head.

I just need to share this - at the back of my maternity notes is a picture of a vagina waiting for some delightful annotations of where it's broken post birth. The vagina itself is shown as a hole. DH saw this and was really confused saying 'but it's not a hole it is, it won't be open like that after the baby comes out.' (DS is from a previous marriage).

Help, I need help.

[Asher90]

Guys, my dp looked down there seconds after my dd was born and his description was "really botched bottox lips" and then for dramatic effect added "with a rope coming out" I'm now 20 weeks with number 2, so needless to say he wasn't too put of with what he seen. I did look 1 week pp and whilst I was quite swollen, no episiotomy needed so healed well. Still not pretty though. 😂😂

[sunshinestorm]

I had the weird black purple veins, they disappear eventually

[Passmethecrisps]

I have had a look (I am 20 weeks post partum with my second child) as I had weird lumps. Turns out I think they are varicose veins. My looks extremely bizarre but I wasn’t that intimately familiar with what it looked like before. Part of me wishes I had taken a good hard look at pre babies.

I can’t say it has bothered me to be honest. Shagging is still some way off the menu so whatever really.

[Batterseapark]

Personally I would carry on doing pelvic floor exercises. I concur they are boring but if you want your body back (strong core and abs eventually, in other words getting rid of the jelly belly), you need to start with a sound pelvic floor and it takes up to 3 months for your muscles to be in tip top condition. It would also help with sensation during sex and keep incontinence at bay in the long run.
I had lots of lumps too. They all went eventually. Physio said it's one of those things no one talks about but it's very common and normal.

[museumum]

I wouldn't ever describe any vulva as "pretty" before childbirth. I mean, a vulva s about as attractive as a scrotum IMO.

[ninecoronas]

Ahaaha, this thread has really made me chuckle! OP, thanks for reminding me that I need to look at my undercarriage some time soon. Haven't checked it out since the second round of labial reconstruction, before which it looked like a doily made of ham. Fun times. Hope your vag recovers quickly!

[asongforthelovers]

I looked last week at mines (4 weeks postpartum) and there seems to be something bulging. I can only think of prolapse, its made me so down. I have 6 week check on Monday so will find out then.

Give yourself time, you will get back to normal 🙂

[clarebear1983]

God your post had me crying with laughter....mostly because I feel your pain! After my 1st my bf and I nicknamed my 'downstairs' the 'farse' since it was very hard to tell what was fanny and what was arse....

I remember about 2 weeks post partum asking my bf to take a look and he went deathly pale and asked if there was supposed to be 3 holes down there... my stitches had split open apparently! It was a good 3 months before i could walk/crouch or kneel without feeling like my fanny was being turned inside out. It was a horrible mess.

23 months on and its still not exactly pretty, but I'm not sure it ever was though it's perfectly acceptable. That is, before the baby I'm baking currently tears it's way out in 3 months time!!

[nightshade]

The farse! ! Love it....

[stubbornstains]

Both times, I took my first look down there after about a year. Looked perfectly fine .