I've just had my second child - 16 months after my first.
After my first massive baby crashed her massive skull through it, I largely ignored my downstairs. I was planning to do the same this time, but because my midwife visits stopped (due to baby weight gain being good) I wanted to check on my stitches.
Naturally I drank a fair amount of wine first, but no amount of Pinot could have prepared me for what I was going to see.
Jesus Christ.
The only way I can describe it is as if someone gave my vagina to a toddler, along with a hammer, and let them do their work, before gathering up all the bits and asking a blind person to make a vagina out of them.
The main issues are:
- Some sort of weird skin flap. Can't even begin to imagine what it's function ever was, if anything.
- Weird purple/black veins running along the outside (bruising?).
- I can't even see the scar from the tearing this time or previous episiotomy. This should be a good thing, but it's just more likely that the bits are so mangled that the scars are just hiding amongst the devastation.
- The 'entrance' looks really high up, much higher than it did before. This makes no sense. If it was still swollen shouldn't it be hanging low? It's like it's all shrunken up or something.
- Random fleshy lumps.
- Can't actually make out the clitoris or the pee hole. They're both definitely there, they must just look different.
- Wonkiness. Nothing is where it's supposed to be, no symmetry whatsoever.
- General extreme ugliness.
I did pelvic floor exercises fairly religiously for the first couple of weeks, but then I got bored. Because they ARE like, really boring, right? I don't have any incontinence at all, so I'm presuming that I still have some semblance of a pelvic floor, and that doing the odd kegel isn't going to right this mess?
What am I looking at here? Sex with the lights off for the rest of my life? Or worse? No sex?