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Being a birth partner

(4 Posts)
Sweetiesweeties Mon 30-Oct-17 18:46:01

My sister is(she thinks) in early labour at home. All very exiting but I am starting to realise I have no idea how to be a birth partner. Her husband will also be there. She is very laid back, doesn't have a birth plan, and has said she would like to have a water birth if possible. Both of my births were traumatic. One a preemie and both emergency sections so I don't have any experience with a vaginal birth.

Any advice on what I can/should or shouldn't do. She is amazing and I want to anything I can(I know not much) for her and the baby.

AssassinatedBeauty Mon 30-Oct-17 18:50:56

I guess just listen to her and do what she wants. And be there to let her DH have a break to go to the loo or grab food.

I had a doula for my first birth and she wrote notes about what happened when which was useful afterwards as I realised I'd forgotten quite a lot of things.

sthitch Mon 30-Oct-17 20:28:35

From what I remember, the best things my husband did during labour was to be there with a drink very very quickly when I needed one, and prompting me to have one as you forget to drink, he was there quickly when I was sick so I could be comfortable and not covered in it, keeping me cool with flannels and stuff.

He also kept family updated so I didn't need to worry about it.

The best thing he did was when things went wrong, he would ask questions, like they mentioned I had some internal bleeding so he was there asking 'ok so what does that mean for her, what is going to happe that kind of thing (when I was too knackered and out of it to ask).

He tried to massage my back a bit but was pretty useless at that as he couldn't hit the spot, at least with you going through it you will have a better idea!!

marriednotdead Mon 30-Oct-17 20:57:50

From my own experience with DD and her then DP (now DH). Was also birth partner for a close friend, lucky me smile

Keep encouraging her, telling her how well she's doing (even if she thinks she isn't) and reminding her that all her hard work will be worth it.

Make sure they are both hydrated and fed, it's easy to forget.

Don't assume anything or pass an opinion unless specifically asked.

Fend off phone calls Keep family in the loop.

Maybe discuss how you want the immediate time after to be. I took photos of them together and didn't hold DGS until the next day so that the first day was theirs to bond.
We agreed that her DP would dress and care for baby while I helped DD shower and clean up, it's not particularly elegant and she was happy she'd thought of it in hindsight.

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