Scared of pain

[CrimsonKitten]

Hi
Seems a bit stupid to be posting this as I know full well that childbirth hurts. I have a really low tolerance for pain, I can't even pop spots without wanting to cry. It's really dumb because I have tattoos and piercings that didn't bother me, but anything else makes me feel awful. I'm not ashamed to say I'm scared of pain, I've always been a careful person as not to get hurt. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and the realisation that I'll have to give birth has caused me endless nights of crying myself to sleep in sheer terror. I don't deal with pain well and I don't know how I'm going to cope. My mum passed out giving birth to me and I was only 7lbs... is there anything I can do to ease my worries? Anything at all? I know alot of people will just tell me to deal with it... and that's fair enough... but it's really frightening me...

[MissConductUS]

Talk to your OB about this now, and express that you want an epidural at the earliest possible point in the birth. They are incredibly effective at blocking the pain.

I was in substantial pain until the chased down the bugger who had the key to the narcotics cabinet and got me my epidural, but after that it wasn't bad at all.

[Ijustlovefood]

During your pregnancy have lots of relaxation time, baths, meditation CDs etc. Know that your body will be in the moment and will just get on with what it needs to do. Gas and air helps and you can have an epidural to take the pain away if it gets too much. Don't worry. In the grand scheme of things labour is short and is just the start of a long journey.

[Wincher]

Another thing to look into could be hypnobirthing. I didn't do it myself but loads of people rave about it. If nothing else it will give you the tools to go into labour in a more calm, relaxed mindset which can only help. And some people swear that labour was pain-free when they used hypnobirthing techniques!

[mrsRosaPimento]

I have a largeish tattoo and found the pain of that harder than child birth. I only had gas and air.
Tell the midwife at your next appointment. They will be able to reassure you. I’m assuming there’s no medical reason why you can’t have an epidural.
Also practice meditation to calm yourself in early labour. You could try cbt, to help control your anxiety.

[CrimsonKitten]

Thank you for all the kind responses. I was honestly expecting to be told to suck it up. I had my first appointment with my midwife today and the reality just hit hense why I've come here to ask. I will definately bring it up next time. I'm new to all of this and it was a lot of information to take in so I'm happy to receive any advise from people who have been there already.

[MissConductUS]

Take a look at this to see how far we've come in managing pain during childbirth:

History of the Epidural

I could tell you to suck it up if it would make you feel better.

[FlaviaAlbia]

An epidural is definitely the way to go if it's worrying you that much, make sure you put it on your notes.

If it's any help, I found it was sore like muscle pain from exercise rather than illness pain like appendicitis and a tens machine really helped me manage it until I got to hospital.

[millsbynight]

I have a low pain threshold too.. I gently cry when getting my eyebrows threaded so I completely understand your worries but labour is not that bad. Your body just takes over and you deal with the pain as it comes. But I echo PP and just ask for an epidural. If you were looking for people saying “just ask for a c section!” it won’t happen.

[FlaviaAlbia]

Well, you could ask for a C section based on anxiety (and you should definitely talk to your midwife about it to see what help is out there) but the discomfort of healing afterwards might be worse than a birth with an epidural?

[userabcname]

Get an epidural! I wish I had. I was given pethidine (sp?) and although it relaxed me between contractions I could still feel the pain.

[Wolfiefan]

Talk to your MW.
There are LOTS of pain relief options.
FWIW labour wasn't what I expected. I expected days of PAIN. What I got was strong sensation, feeling more unccomfortable and unsettled. Then almost time to push!! I'm not saying none of it hurt but it's not like normal pain for me. It has a purpose. And the worst bit (crowning) over in seconds.

[MissConductUS]

KatnissK Pethidine is the generic name for Demerol, a strong narcotic pain killer. I'm a bit surprised they gave it to you, unless it was a very small dose.

[leighdinglady]

missconduct pethadine is a really standard birth pain relief now.** Im avoiding it as I’ve heard it can make you feel a little sick

OP ask about elective c section

[userabcname]

MissConduct yeah it is given quite regularly here although personally I wouldn't have it again.

[Babababababybel23]

Pain relief does help massively but not fully. I had everybtyoe of pain relief it was my first. But honestly the best thing you can do is breathing (aswell as the pain relief obviously) it does help massively

[Babababababybel23]

Every type*

[MissConductUS]

Hopefully it's given before you're fully dilated so that it's mostly out of your system before you're in full labor. Like any opioid it can also suppress breathing in the baby.

Pethidine in Labour

What are the disadvantages of using pethidine for pain relief in labour?

Pethidine may not provide adequate pain relief for some women. Nausea and vomiting are common, a medication may be mixed with the pethidine to help reduce these effects. Some women report feeling drowsy and confused. The effects pethidine has on perception may make the contractions difficult to deal with. Other potential side effects for the woman in labour include difficulty passing urine, dry mouth, hallucinations, respiratory depression, low blood pressure and allergic reaction.

There are no advantages to the baby if the mother has pethidine. Pethidine is known to cross the placenta and is present in breastmilk. The major problem for the baby is that pethidine can cause breathing difficulties after birth due to its depressive effect on the baby’s respiratory centre. These effects are at the worse if the baby is born one to three hours after an injection of pethidine has been given. This is the reason that pethidine is ideally avoided when the birth is perceived to be close. An antidote can be given to the baby to reverse the effects of pethidine, however the effects of the antidote only last a short time and when they wear off the baby may re-experience breathing problems. Baby’s are more likely to have jaundice if their mothers have pethidine. Pethidine effects the baby’s sucking reflex and can cause breastfeeding difficulties for the first few days. Baby’s may require special care or neonatal intensive care from the effects of pethidine, resulting in separation of mother and baby.

[CrimsonKitten]

Thank you for all the responses. It's nice to read different people's opinions on the pain scale. I don't want a c section if I can avoid it so that's not the answer I was counting on. I just wanted to see if there was any little things that people have done to help themselves with it. I feel better knowing that there are things that can be done and that's it's common to be worried about it.

[MissConductUS]

When I was near delivery with my first I realized that pregnancy was the easy part. Giving birth and then taking care of a newborn seemed like they'd be a lot more trouble. So yes, it's perfectly normal to be concerned about it all.

[Duskybluebell]

Pethidine is routinely offered in many UK hospitals and at some home births. Midwives are allowed to prescribe it directly in labour (unlike the majority of other analgesia stronger than paracetamol) by act of parliament and will often offer it to women in the earlier stages of labour (I.e. women not yet considered to be in active labour and therefore not yet admitted to labour ward).
Generally given in doses of 50 to 100mg, up to 150 mg, with a maximum of 200mg in total during labour. It ideally provides a combination of mild analgesia with mild sedation so women can sleep. It doesn't always work for all women and in no way replaces an epidural but can be useful for women with a prolonged latent phase, and for some women is so effective they won't ask for anything else.
It is known to cross the placenta and the antidote was routinely kept with other neonatal resuscitation equipment however in my own trust it (the antidote) has been removed as it has not been needed in over 10 years ( the length of time I have worked there). Possibly the dose needed to suppress respiration is higher than 200 mg. It can certainly make babies slightly sleepy in the first 24 hrs but babies wake up. Last research I saw (can't remember the reference) maximum impact is when given around 3hrs before birth. Less than that it doesn't have time to fully cross the pacenta, longer and it has time to wear off. It will vary depending on individual metabolism.
My unit is fairly careful and has discontinued the use of codeine due to impact on newborn respiration but they're continuing with pethidine. Now if we just knew how long a woman was going to be in labour for . . .

[sthitch]

If you are worried about the pain but don't mind needles then see how you get on and if you're struggling then opt for an epidural. The actual epidural didn't hurt me at all and gave me amazing relief. I went in and tried to be brave but was absolutely terrified of the pain (childbirth was my biggest fear in life, I was genuinely terrified- even of having the epidural itself), I was doing well with contractions until the induction drip and looking back I'm so glad I had an epidural.

I would honestly say that nerve pain I had after having my wisdom teeth out was worse than giving birth and that's saying it after having 7 hours of contractions prior to the epidural.

Don't be scared, you will be fine.

[Reema2017]

Hi,
It's not stupid at all to feel that way. I was really scared before having my baby also from examinations it self. So I had an epidural it's a majic . It is an option to be relax and don't feel about the pain at all and have a nice experience. Write this in your note to have an epidural if you like I strongly recommend and each person has a strength in some point and weakness in other thing. Good luck

[2014newme]

Have a c section but understand the complications after can arise, I was in hospital for a month that after mine.
But still prefer it.

[Skittlesandbeer]

Hey it’s not weird to go through some worry over this when you’re preggers, but you might want to get a couple of therapy sessions about it? Sounds like you need to talk it through and find some practical strategies for dealing with it.

All this stressing out and crying with fear isn’t doing the baby much good. Your body is building this baby each tiny bit at a time, and some of those bits can be messed with if floods of stress hormones are coursing around you.

Get it sorted, love. You’ve got a lot of pregnancy ahead of you, and it needn’t be this hard on you both.

[confused123456]

I'd say have a chat with your midwife. They should be able to help advise you.
I had a 4 day early labour. Meaning I was having contractions for 4 days. I didn't need anything to manage the pain at all. After my sweep all I needed was my tens machine. I used it from 3 hours after my sweep until I left for the birth centre. Once there it was all I used for a good few hours. I found it really helped me, and I didn't even get to the highest settings. Also I used the birth ball which helped a lot. I used the birth pool for a while. The water was really relaxing and helped ease and soothe the pain and helped me relax. I probably would have stayed in there but after the 4 days of contractions I was physically exhausted, so I was given a pethadine injection. It didn't make me feel sick or lightheaded at all. It helped me get some much needed rest before the pushing stage. I still felt the contractions, but it really helped me.
I did try the gas and air but it made me feel sick and gave me a terrible headache, so I didn't use it. And for me an epidural was an absolute last resort as I really didn't want one at all.
In terms of what pain relief helped me personally, and what I intend to do next time, it would be: tens machine as long as possible, birth ball, birth pool (I'd have a water birth if possible). And pethadine if necessary ( I know there are other injections they can give but I haven't experienced them so can't comment).
But no gas and air and no epidural (unless absolutely necessary).