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Family announced my babies birth

(62 Posts)
ruthkinlan Sun 15-Oct-17 17:20:54

Hi there ladies, am I overreacting? I recently gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby smile the birth itself was long and traumatic resulting in an emergency cesarian. Afterwards I was taking directly to recovery and had not had a chance to hold or even get a proper look at my baby.
When I finally got out of recovery hours later and baby was sleeping I picked up my phone to message friends with my happy news. I knew my hubby had informed just close family.
When I looked at my phone there was countless Facebook notifications. It turns our a family member had announced my babies birth on Facebook while I was in recovery having not even got to hold my baby yet. This announcement included gender, name, weight and even a picture of my child. To make matters worse I rarely share personal info on FB and had stated I did not want any info about the baby on FB. All family knew my feelings on this matter. I feel incredibly betrayed and cheated out of getting to personally share my wonderful news with closest friends. I've tried to gloss over the matter and not let it affect my happiness but I just can't look at the family member without feeling very angry with them.
Am I justified or overreacting?

Popskipiekin Sun 15-Oct-17 17:26:01

Congratulations on your beautiful baby!
Not overreacting. I would be livid. Can you ask them to take down the annnouncement - if not, get in touch with Facebook and say the photo was taken (and/or shared, whatever is the case) without your consent and private information shared, again without your consent.
I'm so sorry this is spoiling this precious time for you. If it is one of your husband's family members I would be expecting him to come down on them like the proverbial tonne of bricks. Good for you for trying to rise above it - ultimately these things don't matter and who shared the birth may be quickly forgotten - but just to say I would be feeling exactly the same as you.

WhittlingIhopMonkey Sun 15-Oct-17 17:27:08

That would annoy the bejesus out of are definitely not being unreasonable.

confusedwife84 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:30:30

Completely justified!!! I would be livid, it was not their news to share.

Sleepysooosleepy Sun 15-Oct-17 17:32:02

I can sympathize, my mil did this before either me or my dh could officially announce our dd2. Neither of us were impressed angry

Fishface77 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:33:42

Who was it?
I would confront them and they would not be seeing the child, getting pictures or details until I was satisfied that the attention-whore was sufficiently repentant.
Because in my mind that's what it is. They want attention and some kind of "glory".

CamperVamp Sun 15-Oct-17 17:35:48

Oh, bloody Facebook and the idiots it makes of people.

On all fairness, those who posted and shared probably didn't realise the situation for you.

And tne messages show that by and large they were happy for you and wanting to show love and congratulations.

Do you know that your DH told close family to keep it off Facebook? He must have sent one of them a picture?

Was there one family member who broke a known embargo and posted? If so I would tell them that you feel upset by what happened.

People are total idiots.

KoolKoala07 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:39:35

I would be livid! I'm on fb but very very rarely post. I would have to say something to the family member, even if it's just to receive an apology.

rotavixsucks Sun 15-Oct-17 21:43:25

Sorry this has happened, I would be livid, though I guess it's too late now so don't have any suggestions on how sorting it. I was determined that no one was going to announce my daughters birth apart from me and hubby and that would only be by speaking to people in person. A lot called me a control freak but I was determined to enjoy our early days without unnecessary interruptions.

overmybreadbody Sun 15-Oct-17 21:51:59

This makes me so angry! I'm currently 25weeks and can't imagine anything worse!
I can already imagine which of my family members would do this (and there are a few!) flowers
You should say something

ruthkinlan Sun 15-Oct-17 22:15:18

Thanks ladies it's good to hear some support and that I'm not overreacting. I never share news on FB as I believe big moments like this should be shared in person, especially with those closest to me. Just the fact that all of FB seen a pic of my baby before I even got a proper look or hold is something I can't shake from my mind. As I said I've tried to rise above it but I can't get past it. So I feel I'm going to have to tactfully approach the family member and explain how their actions made me feel.... wish me luck!!

overmybreadbody Sun 15-Oct-17 22:26:47

Out of interest... was it the MIL?

debbs77 Sun 15-Oct-17 22:29:46

That's shocking!

I recently learnt of a friends pregnancy due to other people posting on her wall saying congratulations, yet she hasn't said anything herself.

And those people that share wedding photos while AT the wedding!

ruthkinlan Sun 15-Oct-17 22:47:56

Nope actually wasn't the MIL.... it was her sister!! I'll never understand people who feel the need to share someone else's big news. It's more about getting likes and comments than genuine happiness for the people involved!

MaisieDotes Sun 15-Oct-17 22:50:59

Your MIL's sister. God I'd be spitting blood. On what planet did she think it was her place to announce your baby's birth? angry

Saying that, please don't let this overshadow the birth of your wonderful baby. Congratulations flowers

DPotter Sun 15-Oct-17 22:55:46

Why be tactful in your challenge? +
The family knew your views on FB announcements - one of them went ahead and the others didn't challenge when they should have had your back.
Let ripe - blame your hormones, its good for the blood pressure and you can be sure MIL's sister (!? - really ? If it was MIL at least she would have a better 'claim') is so thick skinned you have to 'be blunt' for the message to get thru. If you want to be polite - message your MIL - get your sister in line pronto or she can forget any contact for the next 18 years, oh and by the way - why haven't you done this already?

Sorry - have had a glass or 2 of red and this may have effected my judgement. But hey - blame the hormones and yell!

DPotter Sun 15-Oct-17 22:57:15

My apologies - congratulations on your baby !

user1499169579 Sun 15-Oct-17 22:58:33

Let it go. It's done.
Don't dwell on it further.
Don't even bother reading these messages.
Cuddle your baby.
Make a nest of love and peace for the three of you to rest in.
Savour all this
nothing else matters.

mummabubs Mon 16-Oct-17 05:44:40

Bless you. I'm 41+1 weeks pregnant (and desperately trying to avoid induction/ c sec) but I've been very clear with my family and in-laws about the same desire that you have to keep our baby off Facebook. We won't be 'announcing' or posting pictures for the same reasons you've said OP. If any of our family don't respect that I'll be livid, never mind having been in your situation of not having held your child first. I get what others have said about trying not to dwell (easier said than done I'm sure!) but if you feel confident that MiL's sister knew your wishes re Facebook then I'd definitely communicate to her how she's made you feel and the impact of announcing such private news so publicly. Might make her think twice in future and frankly who posts baby news of their sister's DiL with all that info on Facebook?! Unless you're a v close knit family?

MrsEileithyia Mon 16-Oct-17 09:15:51

This happened to me. I was still being stitched up and my DP told me SIL had announced the birth on fb. I rang her (still with a consultants head in fanjo) and told her to remove the post and I will announce it when I want it announced. Was removed sharpish. Cheeky fucker behaviour.

MagicFajita Mon 16-Oct-17 09:23:10

Congratulations op! I hope you and your new arrival are well.

Our baby is due (4 days ago) and we've already decided that when he makes his appearance social media gets one cute , squidgy pic of our boy , we will choose the picture and we will choose when it's posted. We've told family (including older dcs) this and expect our privacy to be respected.

So in answer to your question , yes I'd be livid too.

user1483808257 Mon 16-Oct-17 09:25:12


I wouldnt be worried about being tactful, Id be furious!!

How out of order!

Orangebird69 Mon 16-Oct-17 09:28:49

I'd be fuming. Days before ds was born I'd disabled the ability to be tagged or for other people to write on my fb wall. Not 100% secure I know bit it helped. I also told everyone that they were to say nothing on social media until I had. Thankfully they all listened. I'd have to say something to the offending idiot. Congrats on your baby! flowers

ruthkinlan Mon 16-Oct-17 09:43:34

Good luck to all you ladies awaiting the birth of your beautiful babies flowers
I've told DH my feelings and that I will be speaking to his aunt about the situation. I will try and be tactful for the sake of future family relations but if she is not repentant I will let her know just how angry she has made me at what should be a joyous time

PsychoPumpkin Mon 16-Oct-17 09:45:12

I’m furious for you!

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