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Options and advice needed. Currently 35w.

(8 Posts)
HopelesslyHopeful87 Wed 11-Oct-17 17:32:56

I would really like some advice regarding where to go with the Borth of this baby.

Currently 35w with dc3.
Dc1 induced at 42w wit pessary and drip later on. 9 hour labour ending with venture. Baby 9lb 5.
Dc2 induced at 37 weeks due to severe polyhydramnios. 4 sweeps, manual ROM, 12 hour labour, ended with epidural and deep forceps. 8lb 12 baby.

This baby has a different father if that has any bearing on anything.

HG in all three pregnancies.

I've just had a momentary meltdown where I've realised I've got to do this all over again and I don't know what I want. I saw my mw on Monday for my 34 week appt and she asked if I had a birthplan to which I replied with a short no and a change of subject. I can't bury my head any longer.

I don't know if I want a third induction ending in assisted delivery and a 3rd episiotomy. I also don't want to risk an induction ending with emcs.

I have a growth scan and consultant appt next week. Am I allowed to ask for elcs? Is there a reason I couldn't or shouldn't have one?

I feel like I've failed massively not being able to deliver on my own previously and it's had years of negative effects on me (youngest is 6 so big gap between previous and current pregnancy). I'm scared of failing again.

This time round I and so have quite bad SPD/PGP and walking and standing is difficult now. I'm worried this will affect my ability to remain mobile in labour which I feel inhibited my ability to push in previous labours. I was induced and monitored throughout so laid down most of the time.

My head is full of jumbled thoughts and ideas and I don't know where to begin. I need some help because this baby has got to come out at some point and I'm frightened I'm going to get it wrong.

HopelesslyHopeful87 Wed 11-Oct-17 17:43:11

Apols for errors. On phone app. I did put paragraph breaks in but it seems to remove them confused

HopelesslyHopeful87 Thu 12-Oct-17 12:23:15

Anyone?

TheLegendOfBeans Thu 12-Oct-17 12:27:36

Fucking hell: if all that isn't enough to qualify you for an elective CS then I don't know what is.

Ask for it, citing the reasons above!

And don't be scared of the op or feel like you've failed; it's just a different way for baby to appear. What's key is that you can get help with the other children as the biggest barrier to healing is lifting things you shouldn't be.

VocalDuck Thu 12-Oct-17 12:29:12

I would say with complete confidence that what has happened has nothing to do with you and that you haven't failed at all.

There might not be enough time now for it before you give birth, but I would really recommend you ask your hospital for a debrief to talk through your previous labours and so you can see none of it was your fault.

Do speak to a consultant about an ELCS. You might decide against one or it might be the right thing for you, but at least you will know if you have the conversation.

Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you.

HopelesslyHopeful87 Thu 12-Oct-17 12:43:30

Thanks for replies. Older dc are 6 and 9 so don't need lifting or carrying and I'd be at no risk of being jumped on by toddlers.

My head is swimming with info and I think dp could tell I was preoccupied last night but I'm not really verbalising what's in my head because it's so jumbled I don't even know what's in there.

TheLegendOfBeans Thu 12-Oct-17 13:16:44

I think you could frame it thus:

"My body tends to labour in a way that results in intervention heavy, invasive unpleasant births.

I don't think I can deal with it a third time so can I request a CS?"

VocalDuck Thu 12-Oct-17 14:30:40

I would also make it very clear that it is currently causing you a lot of anxiety and you would like to have an ELCS. NICE guidelines recommend women being allowed one if they specifically request it - some hospitals follow the guidelines whereas others use them as a guide but you can ask to see a different consultant who will agree if you feel you need to or have difficulties.

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