This is going to long so thanks in advance if you stick with it...
Back in early 2014, months after our wedding I suddenly had extreme vulval discomfort. Pain/tingling/throbbing all over. As the months went on things got worse. Physical symptoms like swelling/red raw patches appeared. I tried everything. Creams, lotions the lot. I had to sleep with an ice pack between my legs. I once got into a hot tub. Although I showered afterwards, the day after the pain was horrendous. My vulva went 3 times it's normal size and turned bright orange.
Sex went out of the window. The whole area was a big red angry swollen mess afterwards. My husband was amazing, and although we managed a sex life of sorts intercourse was off the menu for a year and a half in the end.
Doctors didn't know. Dermatology passed me to gynecology and back again until gynecology admitted they really didn't have a clue. So by chance I found a private gynecologist. An amazing bloke, I finally found someone who believed me and gave a shit. We tried a couple of drugs (antidepressants for vulvodynia) but no joy. However a steroid cream finally started giving me results and I had good days and bad days, instead of bad all the time. We never got to the bottom of a cause, DH and I decided to TTC as soon as we could as time wasn't on our side. That took nearly 2 years as I was found to have stage 3 endo, which I had surgery to remove.
I'm now 38 and due my first in January. I've avoided the steroid cream since finding out and sure enough things are getting shit down there again. Some quite rough days, can still have sex although despite a ton of lube I will end up with a red raw sore ring at the vaginal entrance and some swelling afterwards.
So... I had always thought no question for me I would go straight for an elective section. But now I'm actually pregnant I have no idea what to do for the best. I'm consultant led as also epileptic (and have arthritis as well!)
The consultant has mentioned pain being a fit trigger so if I went down the vaginal route I'd be on epidural from the get go. This is great, BUT I know this increases the risk of interventions. Forceps (which I really don't want especially high ones), cutting, tearing. All fine when I can't feel it but what about once it wears off? The very bad years were a very low time for me. I hardly slept, I drank too much. Dark thoughts etc. How can I cope with that potentially coming back due to damaged bits, AND a newborn? I also have read about the risk of these being linked to age.
On the other hand, C section. I'm not concerned with my recovery. I know it's major surgery and I'm prepared for that. We have a huge support network in place. My only concern I guess is breathing, I know there's the risk of breathing issues for baby. I don't want to have her come out and be in any kind of danger breathing wise. What if she comes out and she can't breathe? That's my major fear.
I thought maybe go down the route of vaginal with epidural but any chance of intervention being used I want a c section. However once I'm in labour I get the impression they would rather have me finish and I'd be fobbed off until the bitter end with all the instruments and tearing I am trying to avoid.
One day I think "no. C section is better on reflection". The next I'm doubting it again. What would you do? (Apart from pour yourself a massive wine for reading through all of this!)
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Childbirth
Birth and vulval pain issues...what to do for the best? (Very long!)
12 replies
YouBetterWORK · 18/09/2017 18:36
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