Pain Relief In Labour

[meltingmarshmallows]

Looking for some honest experiences from Mums who have already done it re: childbirth.

I've planned to try and have a water birth with gas and air. Largely because I'm terrified of an instrumental delivery and have read that an epidural could increase those chances. In addition friends and family have said Pethadrine made them feel sick and totally out of it. And when I read about the various other options the side effects seemed off putting. In short there was no silver bullet ... Every option seems to have a major downside.

Everyone I know who has given birth recently in RL has told me "take all the drugs". There have been some traumatic births which I'm trying not to dwell on but on the whole, of those I know recently all have involved a lot of intervention and not been how the mum has planned.

I appreciate they're only trying to help and every birth is different but it's made me really wonder if a natural birth is likely. I don't have an especially high pain threshold and I don't want to be traumatised ... Whatever gets baby here safely and leaves me well enough to get on with the task at hand straight after is the best option.

It feels like there's a strong sense of pushing natural birth from health care professionals which I am taking on board (thus me aiming for this). But when people in RL / random people in the hair dressers / seemingly everyone I speak to is telling me to take the drugs ... I'm wondering if I'm being naive.

I'm down to be midwife led, but sort of think if I'll end up having an epidural it may be better to plan for that and do it sooner. So as not to increase risk of instrumental delivery etc. That would mean no pool etc which I really would prefer. It's all very confusing and hard to get info on.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to hear about your choices in this respect. And experience of the various pain relief options.

[Getout21]

It's normal to be anxious as was I. My first labour was induced at 41 wks due to placenta issue (tried everything to get stuff going naturally) & I was convinced it would be a disaster. I was desperate for a water birth, terrified of 4th degree tears & used to scour MN threads for good induction stories.

However 10 hours after my first pessary things started to get moving. My labour progressed super fast (active labour 1.5 hrs) so there was unfortunately no time for the epidural. I did have pethadine which made me vomit, however it did allow me to get some sleep which I think was helpful for energy levels. By the time I got the gas & air the head was coming so I don't think it made much difference (was completely lucid). The contraction pain was really really bad but my baby turned back to back so think that makes it worse. However once the head was out (I remember the stinging) the pain just goes. It really is incredible, for me the contractions were much worse than the pushing. No episiotomy/ventouse/forceps & just had a few stitches (9lb baby).
I did find breathing really helped.

My 2nd was completely unexpected as ended up with a c section at 38 weeks. Found the recovery from that so much worse than natural & hated the feeling of paralysis from the epidural.

I would love to have a water birth, I do think feeling relaxed has a massive effect on labour. I would go for the water & gas/air and just see how you go. Birth is so unpredictable (as I learnt 2nd time) so be prepared to go with the flow.

[7ways]

I had my two at home in water. Planned that way because I just didn't want to be at hospital and have any intervention if I could help it. So that decision meant that gas and air was all I could have regardless. I read a lot about hypnobirthing and that helped hugely in terms of mindset etc. To be honest first time round, I did panic and think 'shit, what am I doing, I could be in hospital right now and there's a chance this might not hurt as much!' But that thought passed as quickly as it came because I just had to get on with it. It was painful because my body was doing things it had never done before, but its such a personal thing it's very hard to give advice on this element. Every birth really is unique in that sense.

All I can say is it couldn't have been that bad because I did it again!

I recommend learning a bit about hypnobirthing, and getting all the facts about the pain relief options and then make a decision that you are comfortable with, and that you have some options if things don't go to plan. Try not to listen to people's horror stories, it doesn't help and they aren't you!

[minipie]

I think there is a huge range in how women experience childbirth. Some have absolute agony while for others it is unpleasant but not all that bad. (I was the latter sort). Sometimes this is down to baby size or position but sometimes there is no obvious reason. So you don't really know which sort you will be.

I would therefore suggest you keep an open mind, don't have a firm plan. Maybe say you want to start with natural birth but be very prepared to request more pain relief if you find you need it.

Hypnobirthing techniques can help some people, they helped me although I only used counting not self hypnosis or visualisations etc.

[minipie]

PS you say better to have epidural sooner so as not to increase chance of instrumental delivery. My understanding is that the chance is increased whenever you have the epidural?

[AreWeThereYet000]

My first I had gas and air and pethedine - I remember things I believe happened in my labour that my mum and DS father both say never happened - I swear I was on a ward but with only my bed and the room was pitch black with them on chairs either side of me until going into the private room to give birth (by this time pethedine had worn off and I remember everything properly) it turns out on their recollection I was on a ward with about 10 beds with the curtain cubicle settings.

Baby 2 I had gas and air and a water birth, pain was manageable, I'd say 6/10 until I pushed when you get a burning sensation however this was so much less painful in the water than my first on the bed. I also remember everything 100% clear.

I refused epidural on my first labour as the midwives were wanting to give me one after 4 day labour and I'm glad I did I was able to get up and move around freely straight after the baby arrived.

[2wild]

You really can't predict anything. As others have said plan a water birth. But don't dismiss drugs.
I've had three children all completely different births. But I do have to say with the second I had epidural and it was amazing how the pain just went away. However I felt stupid after when I was stuck to the bed with dead legs.
I had it again on the third but it didn't have time to work.
Even gas and air does help. But suck on it hard with the contradictions.
You'll be ok. And as hard as it is you get through it then it just becomes history once your holding your baby. Good luck.

[Eskimo16]

People who have pain relief are always flabbergasted by those that don't I find. My MIL told me she thought people who didn't have the epidural were absolutely crazy, she didn't know I had only had gas and air with my baby just a few months ago after being induced.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad although I did at one point start pining for an epidural. But i had told my husband and midwife beforehand to try and distract me from my request for one if I caved because I really didn't want one. Partly because of the risk of assisted birth and drowsy baby but also weirdly I wanted to feel it all. I know it sounds crazy and yes it hurt (can't remember the pain though now) but I just wanted to know what it felt like to push a baby out. Now I do and it's the most surreal feeling, I want to do it like this next time too (but I hope I can labour naturally instead of being induced).

I would suggest to just say to people that you'll see how you go, even if you know you dont want an epidural, will save you all the smart comments. Every labour is different and just let it go however you want. There is no judgement either way and it's such a personal thing.

[ItWentInMyEye]

All the drugs I was offered with my first which ended in an emergency c-section, I used a TENS machine and gas and air with my 2nd, and just gas and air for my 3rd. Also recommend listening to some hypnobirthing recordings and learning breathing techniques. I really believe that your 'birth plan' is only like a wishlist/best case scenario, as it's better to go in with an open mind so you aren't disappointed with how things go. I said I didn't want an epidural with my first before I got on the labour suite, but it turned out I absolutely needed one and it actually saved time when I needed the op.

[TittyGolightly]

I wanted a home water birth with TENS and hypnobirthing.

Ended up with induction (not allowed in pool), TENS + hypnobirthing for a while, hours of pushing, a spinal block and forceps delivery.

While I'd decided in my head what I was and wasn't having, plans needed to change when push came to shove. Flexibility is key.

[user1471495191]

I had a long, slow start to labour. Got by mostly with my amazing tens machine, birth ball, hypnobirthing strategies and paracetamol to try and get some sleep. By the time the midwife led unit finally agreed to admit me, I was knackered. They gave me gas and air (which made me drunk/high but none of the more negative effects others report) and a meptid injection (supposed to retain more control than with pethidine). I had been aiming for a waterbirty but was advised against it as they said it might slow down / stop the hard earned progress I'd made with contractions.

[meltingmarshmallows]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies! It's reassuring to hear lots of different stories & I take on board what you've said about being open minded. It's good to know aiming for a natural birth isn't futile, but I agree being flexible with regards to drugs etc will help if that isn't possible exactly how I envision. I think I may avoid pethadrine though.

I'm going to look into hypnobirthing, thank you.

It feels really daunting but I'm trying not to dwell on the what ifs and keep an open mind. It sounds as though no two births are the same & it's impossible to preempt what mine will be like.

[meltingmarshmallows]

@Eskimo16 I know what you mean, I've been vague when people bring it up as people seem so divided on it. Thanks for the advice, I know what you mean about wanting to feel it. I certainly worry about not being lucid / able to get up after but like the idea of reminding birth partners to try and help me with that plan

[HappyintheHills]

DS1 I was given pethidine - it wasn't that I didn't feel the pain, more like I did but didn't care, ''twas awful. Then I couldn't get it together to push (1st stage labour was shorter than midwife expected) and very nearly ended up with a C Section.
DS2 gas and air only. It took the edge of the pain leaving me to get on with delivering him.

[IrritatedUser1960]

I had an epidural and it was amazing. All that pain suddenly gone.
Ok there were instruments and episiotomy but it was no big deal, recovered quickly and have had no gynae problems since.
I'm a chicken, I can't stand any kind of pain like that but you must do as you see fit.

[YokoReturns]

I had no pain relief both times apart from a quick bit of gas and air when pushing.

It was horrendously painful first time (baby turned at last minute) and really manageable second time. The difference was that, second time, I remained mobile throughout Labour.

I would recommend a water birth for pain relief at the end of Labour, but I was t able to have one first time due to premature eruption of membranes (waters had been broken too long).

[BackforGood]

I agree with those who have said to keep an open mind. You have no idea what your birth experience will be like and no idea what your pain threshold will be like. You might go into labour after a good night's sleep, and have a short labour, or things might start happening after you've already been up 16 hours and then progress really slowly so you are exhausted before you even really begin. You might have 'a bit of discomfort' or you might be in agony. You won't know until you get there.
To offer a different perspective, I thought the pethedine was wonderful. Really, really helped me with both dc1 and dc2 no time with dc3.

[annlee3817]

I went in open minded, happy to ask for drugs if needed. The only one I didn't want was pethidine. I listened to hypnobirthing cds in the weeks leading up and read the book. The pain when labour started was intense and did hurt a lot, but the breathing techniques from hypnobirthing kept me calm and focussed. I managed without pain relief and was lucky that labour was fairly short for me, I think had it been longer I would have possibly been more tempted by an epidural. I was very comfortable on the midwife led unit though and didn't want to end up on labour ward, which is another thing that kept me from asking for pain relief. I'm a wimp usually and surprised myself, even my husband and Mum were surprised.

[rachrach2]

I knew for sure I didn't want pethidine as I've heard of lots of far from ideal reactions (including my mum). Ideally wanted gas as air, tens, then the pool.

However, my first was a 5 day long labour, pain was bearable but I was totally exhausted so opted for an epidural. It was fine, pushed baby out, had a second degree tear by nothing too bad.

Second baby was a quicker labour (just the 14 hours!) so I was fine with gas and air and water. Forgot my tens machine until it was too late. Didn't tear, pushing much quicker and instinctive with no epidural.

I made the right choice for each labour.

I couldn't bear to be on my back either time during contractions, hands and knees for me, experiment with different positions.

[Merryhobnobs]

I went into labour in the early hours of a Sunday morning (after having some contractions the previous day). I managed at home with a couple of hot baths and paracetemol until about 5pm. I had been on phone to midwife centre a couple of times to chat about things. I went in and got checked and came home with a tens machine and managed at home until about 1am. In the early hours of Monday morning it was pretty apparent things were going to take a while and the gas & air didn't seem to have much of an effect. So I was advised to have an injection and get put on the list for epidural. I did have a 2nd injection and finally got an epidural at about 2pm. Baby was delivered at 11.34pm all well and my epidural level meant I was still able to move into different positions. My baby had moved slightly back to back and my contractions were all in my back which is probably why I had a 46 hour labour. I have to say though that I was pleased with the way everything went and that I had an open mind to the options. My night in the midwife centre was fine as was the hospital room that I got transferred to for the epidural. Being open minded meant I experience less disappointment that my friend who had been very adamant about all natural birth and then needed assistance. She says she still feels robbed. Whereas for me it was just about getting the best outcome for baby & I.

[allegretto]

I had absolutely nothing not even G & A ! I was induced on a drip though and found it quite overwhelming. I would just keep an openmind and try for a natural birth but don't be afraid to ask for help.

[confused123456]

I'm happy to share my experience with you.
I was due on Sunday 30th August 2015. I was low risk and knew I would be giving birth in the birth centre, which was what I chose and wanted. (my local hospital had a delivery suite and birth centre in the hospital, so I knew that if there was any problems, I could be transferred easily).
Anyway, nothing happened, and I continued my routine as normal. I was booked in for a sweep on Wednesday 2nd September, but on the Tuesday afternoon I started getting irregular contractions. I declined the sweep on the Wednesday, as I wanted to see if things would progress. They didn't, so I had a sweep on the Friday afternoon at 3pm. I didn't feel any pain or discomfort (like some women say they feel), and I went to the hospital at 9pm (as advised), I was in the birth centre by 10pm.
I didn't need anything to help with pain until 2 hours after the sweep. I knew I wanted as natural a birth as possible, with minimal drugs (I don't understand people who say take anything they will give you). I used my tens machine, which really helped. I used that until it was time to go to the hospital, then I took it off.
Once I was settled in the birth centre I put it back on. It really helped (I never even got up to the highest few settings). I also used a birth ball (to try to break my waters), but it helped ease the pain. I tried a tiny bit of gas and air, but it made me feel so sick and gave me a headache, so I didn't have any more.
The head wasn't fully engaged, so the midwife had to break my waters at 3am. I continued to use my tens machine until around 4am, then I got in the pool. The water really really helped ease the pain and helped me to relax. I think I would definitely have had a water birth had I not been so tired. I spent nearly an hour in the pool. But due to 4 days in early labour, I was physically exhausted. So we agreed I should have a pethadine injection. This didn't affect me like the people you know said it affected them. I felt relaxed and able to get some much needed rest before the pushing stage. I'm so glad I had it, I needed it. I still felt the contractions, but I slept between them.
I woke up at 6.45, and at 6.58, my baby was born.
It's different for everyone, but for me my tens machine, birth ball and birth pool helped the most. Next time, that is what I hope to use, if it's decided an injection like pethadine would help again then I'd have it. I defiantly won't use gas and air, and for me an epidural would be an absolute last resort.
Good luck.

[Stillwishihadabs]

I was the opposite of PP I found G&A worked brilliantly right up to the pushing bit. Very average 1st labour (10 hours) and faster 2nd (2 1/2). Recovery was so much better than either assisted delivery or c-section. Would have hated no to have been able to get up afterwards :).

[WhatwouldRuthdo]

I had a waterbirth with gas and air on 2 days ago . I'm not going to lie, it did hurt a lot and I deliriously demanded a c-section when the burning started, but his head was out 2 minutes later. Recovery so far (I know it's early days), has very straightforward and we were home from hospital 7 hours after birth. Very different from my first birth, but that's not down to the drugs, as the only difference was pethidine instead of water, and I ended up with an episiotomy forceps delivery. (Long labour and back to back baby).

I agree with previous posters, to go in open minded. If you have an ideal in mind, it doesn't mean that you can't differ from it. Also, gas and air can also make you vomit, it does for me. Best of luck with the birth.

[Orangebird69]

I had diamorphine before being fully dilated. It was awesome. However, I dilated quicker than expected and it all happened too quickly to get the waterbirth I wanted. Couldn't get to grips with having a contraction and holding the g&a pipe at the sane time and it was too late for anything else as the head was right 'there' so I had to power on through with no other relief. I wanted a c-section. An epidural. To go home and cone back in 2 weeks . To die etc etc. In reality, it took 3 hours of pushing and a bit of a tear and ds was there, no instruments. I honestly couldnt have cared less how he came out.

Have your plan and prepare as much as you want. Just be prepared for the baby to have other ideas too 😊

[Callamia]

I agree that there's a large range in the experience of childbirth.

I've had two births using water and gas and air (I LOVE gas and air). I don't really like the effect of painkillers, so I knew I didn't want pethedine. The rest, I figured would be worked out as the birth happened.

I was fortunate to have two relatively quick, well-positioned (i.e. Not back-to-back) births with no need for induction (it still hurts a bit though - let's not pretend it doesn't). Not everyone starts in this situation, so might need different interventions.