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Requesting an ELCS

(10 Posts)
SayItIsntSo1 Sun 25-Jun-17 09:28:08

I have searched for similar stories but can't find anything on mumsnet or elsewhere. I am 27wks with DC2. I don't want to start a surgical vs vaginal birth debate, and am looking for any similar circumstances. Particularly around the Hampshire area.

During my labour with dd I had to get out of the pool due to MW being unable to get a good reading on dds heartbeat. I was got pushing before fully dialated, then made to lay and wait in a lot of pain. I eventually had to have an episiotomy and ventouse after dd became stuck and distressed. I pushed so hard I burst blood vessels in both eyes and down my neck I couldn't look at myself or allow any pictures for a long time In addition dd and I were both so exhausted we struggled to start BF and I had to try and express colostrum. In my post birth haze I was so forceful I managed to bruise both breasts and was kept in for extra days by the midwives on their insistance dd would be labelled as failure to thrive at her 3 day check. She wasn't, and I then asked to be discharged whilst they told me I'd have to come back if I couldn't get her feeding better. Turns out she had severe tongue tie and the consultant I saw days later that snipped it said I'd done fantastic to feed at all.

I know this may all sound fairly normal for a first labour, but for me it was further complicated by the fact I had expressed my concerns about instrumental interventions and had consultant write in my notes I would not consent to forceps. I felt very dismissed by the consultant in to accepting other forms of intervention as a first time mum. I later found out at my birth reflections that they would have tried to turn dd with forceps should I not have had that in my notes.

I couldn't talk about the birth without feeling tearful and upset for about 12-18 months. I also struggled to have a sexual relationship with DH as I felt I didn't want anyone touching me.

We decided to try for DC2 just over a year ago. This resulted in 3 MCs. One at nearly 14wks (MMC) and two early ones around 5-6wks before falling pregnant this time. With the 14wk loss I had an ERPC and had a PPH in surgery which was borderline needing a transfusion. Again, I felt traumatised that I had no control.

I have had a lot of counselling after the miscarriages and feel that the best thing for me would be a section this time. It has not been an easy decision to come to and I have put a lot of pressure on myself to try and process another vaginal delivery in anticipation of consultant and midwives telling me that is the 'best' solution.

I know second deliveries are generally easier and my consultant has already offered to induce early, however I feel that induction is just another gamble and the certainty of knowing what and when would allow me to feel more comfortable. I understand a section is major surgery and will be no walk in the park.

So, really I guess I'm asking if my circumstances sound like I will have a big fight on my hands? I have heard my hospital (Basingstoke) do not do maternal request sections, so I am prepared to go to a different hospital if I must but would prefer to be somewhere I feel safe and comfortable. I am also ok jumping through a few hoops, but feel anxious about the amount of refusal I may face.

Sorry this is so long. I have read the NICE and RCOG guidelines and feel I will be able to express myself calmly. Any advice or views much appreciated.

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mimiholls Sun 25-Jun-17 11:48:25

Sorry you've had such a horrid time. Have you spoken to your consultant about this yet? Most hospitals say they will not do maternal request cs but it is different in the case of mental health issues/severe anxiety around birth which it sounds like you fall into. They will be able to agree to a cs on these grounds but that's not to say you may have to jump through a few hoops to get there. If you are already consultant led I would get a meeting with them asap and put your case forward, focussing on the impact the anxiety is having on you. Write it down if you need to as these meetings can be quite rushed/pressurised. You will need to demonstrate that you are fully informed of all the risks too. They may have to refer you to counselling first. If they say no request to be referred to a different consultant or different hospital. They are likely to know which consultants/hospitals are more supportive of elcs and will hopefully refer you accordingly, but fingers crossed it doesn't come to that.

SayItIsntSo1 Sun 25-Jun-17 15:06:36

Thank you for responding mimiholls. I haven't spoken to the consultant yet about this, but I am under their care due to the MCs and my anxiety over this pregnancy. They suggested early induction at my first appointment as they felt it may help the anxiety if I have a more fixed end date.

I haven't been able to think about the birth until now as all my focus has been on staying pregnant. It's only just starting to sink in that baby is going to have to come out somehow.

I have a midwife appointment this week where I'll raise it and am already planned in for a growth scan at 30wks with the consultant. The clock is starting to tick now and I don't want it to be a horrible push to get things agreed/arranged.

DoubleCarrick Sun 25-Jun-17 15:11:02

I can't help answer your question but just wanted to give a wave as I'm local to you grin sounds like you might have a good case for it.

DuggeeHugs Sun 25-Jun-17 18:50:21

I think you should definitely request an appointment with your consultant to discuss this. Traumatic first labour is one of the reasons my ELCS request has been granted. If they're already seeing you for anxiety then they should already be aware that an ELCS request is on the cards.

My midwife also reminded me that if my consultant wouldn't agree then they had to move me to a consultant who would. Luckily I didn't need that and I hope you don't either.

Good luck!

SayItIsntSo1 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:00:37

Thank you DuggeeHugs and DoubleCarrick.

I'll see how it goes with the midwife at my appointment on Wednesday. It's the same midwife I had with dd and the MCs so she knows the history. First pregnancy she was a bit dismissive (but in a fairly polite way) of my concerns but I hope now will treat me with more respect that I know what is best for me this time around.

DuggeeHugs Mon 26-Jun-17 19:27:30

If you feel she's been dismissive in the past then perhaps go in with the thought at the back of your mind that it isn't her decision. You can politely but firmly remind her of this if necessary.

Having seen what you've been through though I'd expect her to be much more open minded. Fingers crossed for Wednesday flowers

JW13 Mon 26-Jun-17 19:45:53

I am pregnant with my first DC and I have a real fear of birth - many of my friends have had similar experiences to your first birth and two almost died. I have nightmares about it and have put off becoming pregnant for quite some time.

I mentioned this at my booking appointment and they took it very seriously. They assured me that given my fear I would be able to deliver by c section if I wanted (this is SE London). The midwife said they'd never force a woman to give birth naturally if she was terrified of doing so.

I believe NHS guidelines changed in the last couple of years and whilst you can't just choose to have a c section, if you have a genuine fear of birth they should agree to a c section (as a terrified mother is not conducive to a smooth labour).

I'd be surprised if they pushed back but if they do I agree with PP who suggested speaking to a consultant (or a different one if they are also dismissive).

Best of luck for your appointment!

SayItIsntSo1 Wed 28-Jun-17 18:06:26

Thanks @JW13.

Midwife was as supportive as I thought she may be, she said it was pretty clear I had made my mind up and that she hoped the consultant would be supportive. Only 3 more weeks until my appointment with him to find out.

BunloafAndCrumpets Wed 28-Jun-17 21:59:56

You poor thing. I know that there was, and probably still is, a consultant who was happy to do ELCS at Frimley park. Might be worth a try. X

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