Apologies in advance I'll be describing my possible faecal incontinence issues so stop reading now if you don't want to know! Bit tmi at times! Just could really do with some advice.
DS is nearly 2 and I am 38+4 weeks with my second baby. First time round DS was face presentation and after a long induction I had an episiotomy and 3b tear. I healed amazingly well, no pain really at all, no continence issues. I was good with remembering to do pelvic floors for at least the first few months and had a physio appointment that was positive.
I had an endoanal ultrasound about 14 months later, and some other tests (involved electrodes and balloons and things up my bum - not fun haha) which showed some defect in my muscles. However I remained asymptomatic with no faecal incontinence and only mild stress urine incontinence (e.g. a little bit of wee when I sneezed sometimes or something). However due to the scan results they sent me a letter recommending a csection for future births.
Fast forward to now. Nearly due with number 2 and both midwives and consultant have agreed that a vaginal delivery is likely fine given my quick healing and lack of symptoms as a result of tear. I really want a vaginal delivery as csections scare me for some reason. The healing process sounds difficult and the thought if being cut feels way scarier than labour.
However I've been having some symptoms which I've dismissed and not told anyone, namely that after passing a bm no matter how fastidiously I wipe, there will be poo there on a future wipe for example a few hours later if I have a wee I'll double check and wipe my bum too and will often not get a clean tissue. I didn't tell anyone I think because I didn't want to admit it, and I just put it down to bad wiping but I know that's not true really, I'm very very thorough and often wash myself or hop in the shower too afterwards, in an attempt to feel clean and stop it happening. It's kind of got worse the more heavily pregnant I've become.
This morning I woke up, went straight for a wee and wiped my bum and there was actually quite a lot... Took several wipes to clean up. Then I (gross gross tmi) noticed a little smear on the bedsheet where I'd sat up and turned to get out of bed 
But I think what's confused me is my knickers are always clean so it isn't total leaking or something. So it's still tempting to just think I'm not cleaning up properly. Does what I've described count as incontinence? Anyway I did some reading this morning and downloaded my hospitals clinical guidance about 3rd and 4th degree tears and it says that if a woman is asymptomatic but has defect on a scan her chances of becoming faecally incontinent following another vaginal delivery are 30 - 40%!!!! So I've booked to see consultant this week to discuss an elcs instead. I still don't really want that and feel quite upset. But the thought if this becoming worse is awful. I'm still not completely sure what to do though writing it down makes me think I'd probably be mad to have a vaginal delivery. Would like to hear anyone else's thoughts of experiences though. Tia.
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Childbirth
Should I have an elcs following 3b tear last time - possibly tmi
Wexta · 13/06/2017 15:51
I had a 3a tear. Second time around I tore but much much less severe and it was only because the midwife didn't realise I'd tore the first time (it was all very rapid). I healed so quickly.
I have had the wiping issue as you describe but only after my second but I think that's down to flappy skin in the area I wasn't told about faecal incontinence though.
I did find that I needed to do some core muscle exercises because things felt a bit heavy. Were you referred for physio?
I had a 3b tear and like you was very reluctant to have a c section for second baby. Like you I healed well and had no probs after. Had another vaginal birth, second degree tear but still no continence issues. Immediately after and for a week or so I did feel very "heavy" in the back passage iykwim, but that went pretty quickly. All fine now. I think the best thing to do is to speak to as many hcp's as poss to get a good idea of pros and cons. I don't remember being told anything about the risk of being incontinent after a second vaginal birth, probably a good job really
I've no experience of tearing as ended up with an EMCS with DD but just wanted to say that whilst I didn't find my c section recovery a walk in the park like some do, equally I didn't actually have any complications from it. I didn't get any infections and I have had no lasting issues from it. The scar healed nicely and I didn't even get an overhang.
I'm pregnant again and for various reasons I may need an ELCS this time. I am hoping for a vbac but if I can't I am not as worried about the idea of a c section as I was before my first.
Not sure if I got my point across but I am basically trying to say that I think you have made the right decision for your circumstances and don't worry about the c section as it's not as terrible as you build it up to be.
Yes, remember it is major surgery and try to take it easy afterwards and definitely keep on top of your pain relief, but after a few weeks (I think for me it was after 5 or 6 weeks) you should feel pretty much back to normal. Well as normal as you can be with a newborn!
Good luck and I hope it all goes well 
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