DS is 3 and we have just decided to start TTC for number 2. It's taken me this long as my birth really traumatised me I didn't think I could ever do it again, but I've started to accept it more now.
It was horrific, 4 day Labor. waters gone and contractions every 2 mins for 43 hours of it - I had dialated 2cms in that time and was having back to back Labor.
2 failed epidurals and a clip on head with declining heart rate, emergency buzzers pulled twice with rooms filled with people. Placenta started coming away and I was in awful pain. Eventually I was taken to theatre for c section (far later than I should have been) and had to be put to sleep under GA as my spinal block didn't work.
Both developed infections, his much worse than mine. I had to have 3 blood transfusions, 1 week in high dependency unit and didn't hold my child for 2 days as was knocked out being injected morphine. I now suffer from a curved spine, split stomach muscles and chronic back pain.
So anyway...
Now I don't know what I want for the birth of Dc. (When it happens) The birth was awful and I really couldn't go through that again, I know I sound like a drama queen but I woke up in cold sweats having flash backs for months. Even now I cry sometimes thinking of bits of it.
But I want to be able breastfeed this one and move around more this time and that was harder after a section.
I also want that experience of a natural birth and feel I should Atleast try for one.
I watched my Best friend give birth naturally and it was the most amazing thing, I cried tears of joy whereas after my section I cried tears of pain and failure.
DH wants me to have a planned section but I really want to try. He says if things start to go wrong again I'll get PND again because of it.
What would you do in those circs?
Thanks
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Childbirth
VBAC or not after traumatic birth?
15 replies
101dalmationspots · 08/05/2017 20:38
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